Music as a bonding experience (in real life) disappearing?

When I was a kid, one of my most treasured gifts was an album I got for my birthday. The giving and receiving of tapes or vinyls or CDs for birthdays and Christmases was a bonding sort of event. My father would always recall happily his 17th birthday as he got The Stones' Sticky Fingers that year, and it became one of his favorite albums. I'm sure some of us here have exes we'll always remember because they introduced us to music which became our favorite, or bought us albums which marked that period in our lives.

But is that disappearing for younger people? The idea of giving part of yourself via music to someone else, or in say, having a beer with a buddy or a girl while listening to your favorite song on the radio. Queen once said in hope that radio wouldn't become 'some background noise' - and I feel it has. I mean, at one time, you could give someone a vinyl record or a cassette for their birthday, and it'd be cherished, it'd be something that bonded the two of you...You can't give someone a digital download for their birthday....

Outside of places like these, or going to a concert, is music as a communal, bonding experience between individuals disappearing? If so, what can we do to circumvent this?

 

My friends listen to music on their phones. They could care less about physical media.

 

No. What is disappearing is physical media. People still share music by going to concerts, posts on facebook, twitter, Spotify playlists and so on.

 

It's not only not disappearing but in the EDM/rave scene it's actually getting stronger. Bonding with the audience is the whole point. The "artist"/DJ onstage is becoming irrelevant. We're reaching the point where the audience is the show. Soon there won't even be a stage. The crowd will be the artist.

 

As someone who works primarily with kids 20years younger than myself, I rarely hear them talking about music. I've never seen my employees share playlists or ask what " what's that your playing." Music is background noise to them. I agree with the OP.

 

This wasn't necessarily the case 30 years ago either. Some people were really into music, others couldn't have cared less except for a handful of popular singles. They bonded in other ways - sports or gaming, for example. Today there are even more options I would assume, outside of music.

As for circumventing (@the OP)....this isn't like mad cow disease. If the kids are bonding in others ways and it makes them happy, then there's nothing to "fix". My generation muddled through and I'm guessing the teens of today will manage as well.

 

iPod killed it with earbuds. When we were kids the group got together and spun records together in the same room. We all listened to the same thing at the same time. You can get that at a live gig now but the idea of a group of friends listening to recorded music together is from a previous era.

I miss it.

 

I never see hear or see my kids or other kids discussing music. I remember when I or my friends would buy new LP's, we would instantly be inviting each other over to listen.
Also when the kids and there friends do listen to music, they are constantly jumping from one song to another in mid stream. They never listen to a complete song anymore.

 

...And these children that you spit on
As they try to change their worlds
Are immune to your consultations
They're quite aware of what they're going through...

- David Bowie, 1971

 

Another factor is the anonymity that is afforded by I-devices and streaming sites. Individual listeners can check out music that piques their interest but they might not want their friends to find out that they like it.

 

As a kid, I would have friends over all the time. It was great talking about the songs, artist, the album packaging (photos, liner notes), etc.

 

OP is hopefully aware that this very site is a modern way of sharing musical discoveries.

No, it's not the same as sitting in a room with someone. But when @ServingTheMusic, for example, opened up to what excited him musically recently, and I discovered Christian Scott because of it, that's going to stick with me for a long time. 30 years ago this would have never happened...save on a BBS perhaps.

 

It's your brain cells. They're disappearing as you age. Makes you think the world is going to hell in a hand basket. The world is the same, its your perception that's shifted.

 

Well, something is driving the increasing interest in vinyl collecting. I find it hard to believe that it's all about the collecting and not the listening. I don't have any kids of my own, but I'm sure there are many out there who are listening to music with friends - whether it's active listening or background music at parties or what have you. I'm 52 and know that I spent a few hours with a friend this past Friday night listening to two Led Zeppelin bootlegs and comparing the performances. We drank a few beers, ate some pizza and shot the breeze for a while before hunkering down for some active listening. Great fun for two old farts like us. I also belong to a vinyl listening club. Four of five of us greybeards get together for a few hours. Each of us gets to choose an album side. We take turns choosing. Same deal - beers, pizza, other party favors and lots of good natured banter. I can't speak for the universe, but I hope we're not the only ones doing it. Great way to hear some new sounds, defend your likes, and catch up with friends. I also wrote a play about music bonding the guy behind the counter with his customers at a record store so I'm probably biased here. Connecting over music is one of the great joys in my life.

Love,
Billy

 

From my observation, younger people do not do that much communication other that to text each other or scan their cell phones for google searches. I always recommend to young folks to sit down as a group and sit down to listen to a record from start to finish. It is a lot of fun and stimulates intellectual conversation and engagement.

I am in my mid sixties and my friends and I still get together and listen to records. It is just as much fun now as it was in the day. Just the other day we were listening to a lot of Frank Zappa records. Some had never heard that much Zappa before and were impressed. A good time was had by all.

 

The sky is falling...!

 

No! The world is not the same. If you think that, you never experience what was going on before. Sorry!

 

Some of my friends and I have been saying for a while that we're going to get together and listen to records while we are enjoying "other party favors" if we can ever find somewhere for our kids to go.

 

Music consumption may be primarily a solo activity these days, but music creation is as much a group activity as it has through the entirety of human existence. Seriously, how many young people do most of you folks interact with on a regular basis anyway? I know hundreds of kid and teen musicians and all of them are as much into music as anyone I knew when I was their age.

What's more, because virtually all music ever created is instantly available to them at any hour of the day, they are more deeply into music than we were. I pride myself on my broad and deep taste in music, which took a lifetime and a lot of money to develop, where they can sample any style of music, from any time or place. If I were a miserable old geezer, I'd resent them not having to go the same process, but luckily I'm not.

I'll give you an example. I was shooting a School of Rock AllStars show, and was talking to one of the kids after the show. I don't know how it happened, but we were discussing favorite female singers, and I mentioned Happy Rhodes. And this 16 year old girl from Texas said "I LOVE Happy Rhodes!" Even the most knowledgeable music fans are unlikely to know Happy - she was only really played on the radio in Philadelphia back in the 90s. It turned out she had discovered her via a video that I had shot years ago of Happy doing a Bowie cover, and that led her to exploring more of her music.

My wife, who is Happy's biggest fan, only discovered her by chance back when Happy had only 3 self-published cassette releases, and a friend from upstate New York just happened to fill up the extra time on a cassette dub with a few Happy songs (she discovered Kate Bush in the same way.)

It was all pretty random. But now, these kids can use tools like Every Noise at Once to discover a genre and explore it in a breadth and depth that the most obsessive bin digger could never hope to achieve.

 

Hang in there! It certainly helps that two of us are single with no kids. I know it's tough for married people with children to carve out four hours or so of free time.
I think it's the responsibility of our generation to pass on this incredibly fun and enlightening activity to kids today. You don't necessarily have to get buzzed to enjoy music with your friends. In some cases it doesn't hurt, but it's not a necessity. The night can include making a meal, baking some goodies - whatever. Listening to music with friends is great fun and opens up your mind. Let's hope it continues no matter what is the most dominant media for enjoying it.

Love,
Billy

 

This was computer football when I was a kid:


This is computer football now:


Music has a little more competition today.

 

I'm 24 years old, and for me, music has always been a strong facilitator for building social and communal bonds. In my childhood, the shared experience of listening to music between myself and my parents (my father in particular) were hugely formative moments. As I got older, I found that talking music was an easy way for me to break the ice at social events, and better yet, it's how most of my strongest and longest lasting friendships first developed. One of my favorite things to do is sit around with friends, listen to music, and talk about everything or nothing at all and I know plenty of other kids my age who enjoy the same.

Additionally, where I live, there's a thriving local music scene and it's full of young people writing and performing music, and I've had plenty of stimulating, exciting discussions about music, the industry, touring, etc. with these people, as well as the older members of the community.

 

It really is like "Journey to the East". The journey continues, whether you're on board or not.

 

It's the end of the world as we know it............

And I feel fine.