We used to get returns all the time at DCC (all record companies do), mostly defects in packaging, etc. but the returns of an "aesthetic nature" usually hit my desk with an enclosed note from the record store or distributor explaining why the customer returned the product. a few just cracked me up. Why? Well, I've often told the story of the DCC Gold CD of the Vince Guaraldi Trio's "Jazz Impressions Of Black Orpheus" and how a customer angrily returned it to the store (who returned it to the distributor who returned it to DCC where it landed right on my desk). The note enclosed said (and I quote, since I still have it with the disk that I'm playing right now): "Midrange vibration on track 5, right side." Now, track 5 is "CAST YOUR FATE TO THE WIND" and the midrange "vibration and buzzing" is of course the bass viol being bowed, a great part of the song. That really threw me for a loop and so I started a collection of little interesting reasons that people returned product over the years. Here are a few more, right from the actual notes about WHY they were returned to the store: DCC Gold CD/Steve Miller Band "Greatest Hits": "Songs too long." DCC Gold CD/Stan Getz/Charlie Byrd "Jazz Samba": "Music too quiet, cannot hear it." DCC Gold CD/Joni Mitchell/"Court And Spark": "Unacceptable. Joni sounds weak and out of tune on this album." DCC Gold CD/Van Halen: "Return, too much bass." DCC Gold CD/The Eagles "Hotel California": "Not like I remembered it as a kid." DCC Gold CD/Bob Dylan "Highway 61 Revisited": "The sound gives me a headache." DCC 180 Gram LP/Jefferson Airplane "Surrealistic Pillow" "Worst sounding LP I've ever heard!" (Well, that could be true, but ours was the best of the worst.) DCC Gold CD/Paul McCartney And Wings "At The Speed Of Sound": "Dreadful album, dreadful sound." DCC Gold CD/Wes Montgomery "Goin' Out Of My Head": "Guitar totally out of tune, not that way on my LP." DCC Gold CD/Art Pepper with Miles Davis' Rhythm Section "Gettin' Together": "Saxophone player is not playing correctly. Too many sour notes." DCC Gold CD/Elvis Presley "Elvis Is Back": "This record has too much reverberation on it, Elvis is singing in a shower." And so on. I am skipping the "headphone people" and their numerous "I CAN HEAR A SPLICE AT 2:23 ON TRACK THREE!" return notes. I'll spare you the rest or I can post more if you want. I can laugh now but back then I seriously doubted people were in their right mind.. A few more: DCC Gold CD/Cannonball Adderley & Bill Evans "Know What I Mean?": "Starts off too quiet and goes too loud." DCC Gold CD/Badfinger "Straight Up": "Drums completely distorted on all tracks". DCC Gold CD/The Beach Boys "Pet Sounds": "Return: This music is in mono." DCC Gold CD/Phoebe Snow: "This album is too long". DCC Gold CD/Roy Orbison "The All-Time Greatest Hits": "This claims to be his greatest hits but it isn't". DCC Gold CD/Erich Wolfgang Korngold "Music From The Golden Age Of Motion Pictures": "This is not the original music, this is stereo remake." DCC Gold CD/Judy Garland "Live At Carnegie Hall": "Not the original album, this is a fake." DCC Gold CD/The Doors "Strange Days": "This entire album is off speed." DCC Gold CD/Deep Purple "Made In Japan": "Return-This is the same album that was released on Warner Bros." Those of you who work in music retail or at a record company, do you have any funny "return" stories?