Do you have a memorable movie theater experience?

University Theater Bloor Street Toronto. Someone ran down the aisle with a chain saw,(no Chain) during "Texas Chain Saw Massacre". That cause quite a stir!!! Gent got arrested for Disturbing the peace.

 

Oops . . . nothin' but love, bruh . . .

 

So it was you.

 

I want to have...I want to have J-Lo dropped on top of me.

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ALIEN (1979)

Back in the day, when Alien came out, you just knew you had to go and see Alien, by the fantastic "word-of mouth" recommendations.

Few movies prior to that had created the kind of buzz on the street that Alien had.

The Exorcist did. Jaws did. 2001:A Space Odyssey did. Star Wars did.

I remember seeing Alien at one of the few large single screen theaters left in Dallas, The Medallion, where it was shown as an exclusive engagement in the summer of 1979.

The Saturday night crowd packed the theater. There were no cell phones then, so I recall that everyone in the audience sat spellbound, watching Alien. There was no looking down or fiddling with a phone or "texting" their friends.... And because it was a night show, there were no crying babies, or really any children in the theater. Very few people got up and left for a bathroom break.

It was one of those rare, magical times when seeing a movie was an "experience".

 

About 5 years ago, I traveled from the burbs to Dallas with a friend to see a Midnight showing of Blade Runner at Mark Cuban's Landmark Inwood Theater. We got there about 15-20 minutes before the film was to start.

We sat down about in the middle middle of the theater. There were maybe ten other people in the theater for this showing. So, you know how great the opening of Blade Runner is.... a couple of people come in as the movie is beginning. Not much of a disturbance, but, they were late. Shortly after that, the third member of their party comes into the theater, and not knowing where his party was sitting, yells out (drunkingly) "Hey, where are you guys???" ---- I immediately wanted to stand up and yell right back to that guy "Hey, the movie has started --- STFU!!!!" But, I didn't.

One of the people in his party stands up and motions to him, so their drunk/stupid friend can find them.

What true Blade Runner fan would want to miss the opening?? But these morons were more interested in "doing something after some drinks", than relishing a great Science Fiction film.

But, more than that party, I BLAME Mark Cuban's theater staff for not having been there to guide that lost person to his seat. Thumbs Down to Mark Cuban !!! I rarely go to midnight movies, and I have not been back to the Landmark Inwood since.

 

Alien was the first sci-fi movie I saw in New York City back in '79 when I moved there. I wish I could remember the theater's name. It was really large. It was one of Manhattan's biggest I think...? The screen was huge and the movie was first-rate.

 

I only first saw Alien in 2001 and I remember thinking "Oh wow, this is so cool and scary and atmosphere".

And then Sigourney Weaver took off a decent amount of her clothes for no discernible reason and I was like "Wow, the movie got even better!"

 

She was getting ready to go into hibernation sleep. Good enough reason to strip down to your undies.

 

Oh that's right. Well that seems like a perfectly good reason.*


*Like I really care what the reason was.

 

Back then, in 1979, BIG releases, did not get the wide release they do today. Sure, there are still some NY/LA pre-wide showings, but Alien was in a limited release Nationwide initially. I think there was one theater in Dallas and one in Ft.Worth where you could see the film. And, it was in 70mm, with 6-track Dolby Stereo. So yes, it was a Big screen showing!!

Interstate Theaters built the Medallion in 1968 opening with Butch Cassidy on October 30th, 1969. Notable exclusives there were The Godfather, The Sting, MASH, American Graffiti, Deliverance, and Chinatown. Downtown theaters struggled as the Central Zone (NorthPark, UA 150 (later Cine), and Medallion) thrived. Medallion held sneak of Jaws and Steven Spielberg cited the Medallion as his “good luck theater” and one of his most memorable moments. He also sneaked Close Encounters there before moving his sneaks to the nearby NorthPark I & II.

 

First time seeing the Wizard of Oz, during our local film festival. And the guy who owns a pair of the ruby slippers, had brought his own Technicolor IB print for the theater to run. And he also bought along four of the surviving Munchkin's. They were dressed in reproductions of their original felt costumes and the Coroner sang his little song live at the front of the theater.

Another year, I was walking through the lobby and standing right in the middle, was Michael Cain speaking face to face with Roger Moore.

Just a little over a week ago, I took two children to see the live action version of Beauty and the Beast. The boy was seven and the girl was nine. I knew the girl would like to watch the movie, but I was not sure about the boy, who sat next to me.

There is a scene, where both Beauty and Beast were getting all dressed up for the dance. They would alternate between Beauty and Beast getting ready. At the end, when Beauty was finished getting dressed, the camera moves in and her back is turned to the camera. As the camera continues to move in, she is turning to face the camera.

I'm thinking, Emma Watson is beautiful and is so right to play Beauty. At the same time, the seven year old boy, blurt's out, Oh My God!

Priceless.

 

Back around 2000 or so, one of the radio stations I worked for hosted a showing of PSYCHO at the Keswick Theater in Glenside, PA. It was an older movie-palace that mostly is used these days for concert appearances. Well, they managed to get the screen in place and the projector going, but the print appeared very square in shape. The upper part of the picture showed even more than a pan'n'scan version that I had on LaserDisc. I recall the hardware store scene showing open space above where the ceiling should be.

But that wasn't the truly memorable part. Before the picture, Janet Leigh, who was in attendance, was supposed to give a little talk. And before things settled down and folks were getting popcorn, I headed upstairs to the balcony area to use the restroom. As I came back down the stairs, right behind me was Janet Leigh, looking lovely in a bright red dress. Our eyes met briefly at the bottom of the stairs and I probably said something stupid as I always do in the presence of celebrity types, but she was gracious and moved through the crowd toward her appointed location. Her chat in the theater was memorable as she gave us what was probably her standard line of never taking showers anymore, only baths.

 

There was a theater that showed second run films for $1. My buddy Bob and I watched Empire Strikes Back every night for two weeks straight and when that was over we continued with Caddyshack every night for another two weeks. He insisted and honestly I wasn't having much fun after the third night.

 

I love both of those movies, but I think once or twice a week would be my limit.

 

I was married upstairs in what is now the anteroom for the ladies room, the Keswick's first marriage.

 

That's what passes for excitement when you live in a town with one traffic light and it flashes yellow at 9pm.

 

I saw Blade Runner for the second time in a theatre during a re-run in the 1980's - the version with the narration removed this time.
A guy ran into the theatre just as the lights started to dim and looked around for his girlfriend. He couldn't see her so shouted her name out.
He got a chorus of replies "I'm Sarah!", "No, I'm Sarah!" and finally "No, I'm Spartacus!".

 

I worked (aka ran the asylum) at General Cinema in Addison TX in the early 90s. Chuck Norris and Vanilla Ice were somewhat regular patrons, but my favorite was a real interesting individual.
I was working concessions one night and a guy who looked vaguely familiar approached me. He seemed to not speak much English and mumbled his way thru ordering a buttered bucket of popcorn. A few seconds later it came to me and I said "Hey, aren't you Charley Pride?" He instantly broke character and we laughed and had a fun chat. What a nice guy. The best part was that he did this multiple times to my coworkers who were none the wiser. Each time he did this, he would buy the large popcorn and then take it to go without ever seeing a movie!

 

My wife and I went to the local mall to see "Inception", the Christopher Nolan film starring Leonardo DiCaprio. This is back when we used to go to the movies. Not so much anymore. l generally like Nolan’s work, especially his Batman films, “The Prestige” and “Insomnia”, so I was looking forward to the film.

Our tickets were for the 5:30 showing. The ticket window line was not long and I parted with my $21.50 with relative ease. We entered the theater without incident. After several minutes of commercials for assorted television programs and soft drinks, the lights finally dimmed.

I joyfully chewed my Sour Patch Kids and drank my bottled water, both of which were illegal contraband purchased at a nearby drugstore. No outside food or drink, the sign in the theater lobby says, but at $10.75 a ticket I’ll be damned if I’m going to get shaken down for a $7 soda and $5 candy.

The trailers for upcoming events were being shown. The theater was air conditioned and comfortable. I was completely relaxed. Breathe in….breathe out. All was well in my world.

Well…almost. There was some strumpet sitting a few seats down to my right who must have had ADD or something. Every two minutes she would reach into her bag and bring out some illuminated electronic phone thingy to see if she had received a text message. She'd diddle away with her thumbs for a moment and then extinguish the gadget’s blinding glow.

What did I care? Let these fools do whatever they want. If they spent $10 to sit in the darkened theater and squander their cinematic experience by wallowing in a fantasy world of tweets, twits, and twats, so be it. I looked away and tried to ignore that constant glowing light, but it drew my attention like a firefly to a bug zapper. But I persevered. There was no way I was going to let these people get between me and my enjoyment of the film.

And yes, it was a very fine film, albeit confusing as heck. The direction was first rate and the ensemble cast was quite good. The special effects were spectacular and not entirely computer generated, which made for a more thrilling cinematic experience.

This film is a highly complex, multi-layered labyrinth. You simply cannot allow yourself to zone out or else you will miss vital information and get lost quickly. You have to give it your complete, undivided attention.

But how can I do that when my wife is elbowing me in the side?!?

"Look," she said. "It's that crazy guy who keeps changing seats again".

I looked around the darkened theater and...sure enough...there he was.

We last saw him the previous February at this very same theater during “Shutter Island”, another Leonardo DiCaprio film (maybe this isn’t a coincidence). He was a slender black man wearing a baseball cap and carrying an enormous soda in one hand and clutching an enormous tub of popcorn to his chest with the other. There was nothing out of the ordinary about the man, and I might not have noticed him if my wife hadn’t pointed him out to me. But once I spotted him, I was unable to stop watching him and his peculiar behavior.

The man moved from seat to seat in the theater in a slow, deliberate manner, for the entire length of the motion picture. He’d sit for a few minutes, appearing to be watching the film, then abruptly get up, walk down the aisle (with his enormous soda and popcorn in tow), and choose a new seat, often stepping over and annoying several audience members in the process.

Once seated, he had the tendency to begin rocking back and forth in his seat as if he was having some sort of epileptic fit. Occasionally, he would explode into maniacal laughter, even though there was absolutely nothing remotely funny about what is happening on the screen.

During the “Shutter Island” showing, my wife noticed him early on and quickly became afraid. She figured he was some sort of crack head, probably carrying a gun or something. I recognized him for what he probably was – a mental defective attempting to find a comfortable seat. Rather than put up with these shenanigans, we got up and left the theater just as the movie began to roll. I calmly told the clerk that a crazy person was upsetting my wife and we’d like to switch to a different showing of the film. He said it was no problem and we got in line for the next showing, which conveniently started about half an hour later.

During “Inception”, my wife spotted him well after the movie had already begun. He was a safe distance away from us so I told her to forget him and focus on the action taking place upon the screen. Let someone else worry about the nut job. Surely somebody would get fed up with his behavior and complain to management. Then poor nut would get tossed out of the theater once and for all. I couldn’t get involved. I was determined to enjoy this movie and I was not going to let this guy ruin my night out. No sir. Not again. I mean it.

But the damage was already done. Regardless of my desire to savor the film, I inevitably found myself distracted. I couldn’t help but keep an eye on the crazy bastard, observing how people around him were telling him to shut up and stop getting up every 2 minutes. I tried so hard to focus on the film but I kept getting lost in the complex storyline. Valuable information was being said and I was missing it all.

I was becoming infuriated and my blood was starting to boil. Suddenly my senses were overwhelmed by the mass of humanity that surrounded me in the dark. In every direction, mouth breathing idiots were disrupting the film in their own little ways. There were morons with their phones going off as they staggered out of the theater to take the “urgent” call, morbidly obese jackasses crinkling empty candy wrappers like autumn leaves, and soda slurping pigs making squeaky noises with their plastic drinking straws.

I could tell my wife wasn't following the movie, because she kept looking at the crazy guy, and this, in turn, distracted me. All I wanted to do was to watch this goddamn movie and every single person in the theater seemed hell-bent on preventing me from doing that.

Finally, after moving at least twenty-five times during the previous 2 hours, the crazy seat-hopping son of a bitch made his way to our isle. He sat down at the far end of the aisle opposite us and I could hear him making noise; a strange and sickening combination of laughter and sobbing. Everyone around him turned and looked at him. He was ruining the film for everyone. After several minutes, he suddenly got up, awkwardly squeezed past all the people in our aisle, and was now sitting a mere two seats to my right. A long and elaborate dance had come to its inevitable conclusion.

My wife was freaked out, gripping my arm in fear. I took a deep breath, released it, and attempted, one last time, to concentrate on the film, which was now well into its final act.

It was 7:45. We were 2 hours into the movie.

And all was lost.

The nut started rocking back and forth. He began his cackle/sob sound, which completely obscured the film’s dialogue. This was the second Leonardo DiCaprio film in a row that this crazy bastard had ruined for me, and now I had reached my breaking point.

"Awww, f**k it!!" I cried out. I threw my remaining Sour Patch Kids violently down to the floor, grabbed my wife’s arm and escorted her out of the theater once and for all. I’d never get to find out how Leo and the gang got out of that guys dream!

Infuriated with the entire human race, I stormed downstairs to the lobby and told the manager what had occurred. He defused my rage quickly by very generously refunding my money and giving us four free passes for our troubles. He also sent some usher goons into the theater to physically remove Mr. Happy. In fact, a few minutes later while sitting on a bench collecting myself, I spotted him wandering around in front of the box office looking confused. I could also see that he was holding a free pass in his hand, identical to the one the manager had just given me. Someday he would return. And God help anyone who shared a theater with him.

Look, I don't mean to be cruel to this troubled man. He's obviously got some kind of mental problem that requires treatment. I recognize the fact that he deserves the right to see movies too, just like you and I, but c’mon. He chased a good dozen people away from their seats with his disturbing behavior. Shouldn’t he have someone escorting him around and keeping him in check? Like Spock said, “the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few...or the one”, and in this case the “one” is a certified nut (and, apparently, a Leonardo DiCaprio fan).

At any rate, I'm through going to the movies. No more will I sit in the darkness with a pack of twittering fools. I'll just rent films and avoid the hassle. Why should I pay $21.50 to be tormented by idiots when I can pay $1.50 at a Red Box and watch movies in the comfort of my own home, lying on the couch with my pants off?

“Inception” was an incredibly complex adventure story and well worth seeing. But it requires your undivided attention, which was sadly stolen from me. So always take a good hard look around you when you choose your seat in the theater. Spot the crazies when the lights are still on and spare yourself the agony.

 

I bought tickets for ET but accidentally sat down in the theatre showing John Carpenter's The Thing.

 

Whoa, yours flashed yellow?! Fancy!

 

Yeup, my buddy from Wisconson invited me to see Independence Day back in the 90's, he called me up, and I met him there at the theatre on opening night, they great guy payed for my tickets, popcorn, and soda, the bad news is all of the seats were taken, it was sold out, LOL! so my buddy and I had to sit on the steps during the entire film, talk about saddle sore!

 

So if it was sold out how did he buy tickets? By 1994 the theater should have had a computer that would have told them when they had sold all of the seats available, no?

 

I was already married when I went upstairs and still married when I came down the stairs - and besides, Ms. Leigh was entirely too old for me...