Dumbest things ever overheard at a record store!

I asked a pretty stupid question repeatedly long, long ago....

I had seen Van Halen play a local club in early '77 more than a year before they released their first album (unbeknownst to me). They played one song, "Walk Away" in their set which I really wanted to find on whatever record it was on. So for weeks I scoured local record stores asking dumbstruck clerks what Van Halen album is Walk Away on? It took numerous stores, same question until finally one guy who was pretty knowledgeable clued me in that not only was Walk Away a James Gang tune, but Van Halen was a local band who didn't have any records out (at the time).

Derp.

 

Customer: So...do I have to learn a bunch of scales and stuff like that??
Guitar Shop dude: (grabbing the guitar and mashing the strings with one foot on a small practice amp) Nahhhhh man...you just ROCK OUT!!!!!



(the record shop sold guitars too)

 

At the shop I worked at all through college the job application we would hand out had a few basic questions about record retail. One of the questions was, "what is a jewel box". One fine gentleman turned in their application with that question answered, "where she pees from".

We laughed for a million years over that one and put the application up somewhere behind the counter. He did not get the job.

 

Customer - "Maroon 5 are the most talented band in the last 20 years. "

 

I don't even understand that second one...

 

My wife managed a record store from the mid-70's through the mid-80's.
In late '81, a woman came into her store asking for a song "Count Your Bird Seed."
Nobody in the store recognized that title and were trying to figure out what she was looking for.
Eventually the woman sang "Count Your Bird Seed" for everybody.
Turns out, she was looking for Prince's "Controversy."

 

"Vinyl sounds much better than CDs"

 

Herman's Hermits? Never heard of them...

 

That's conducting an investigation, not saying anything dumb!

 

This isn't really a stupid comment, but it is the best comment I've heard in a record store.
A dad was in the shop with his son, who I'm guessing was 14 years old.
The kid picks up a Pink Floyd CD and the dad says,
"No. No Pink Floyd. I don't want that getting into your head."

What made me laugh was that the kid was pretty much the age I was at when Pink Floyd got into my head.

 

How could they not know him? He's been making vinyls for such a long time.

 

Oh yeah, they are known by all ages. Everyone must have seen the Naked Gun movies.

 

I'm in a record store digging through a box of records not yet priced and come across a near mint original 1st issue UK mono Sgt Peppers, this is way before the reissues came out.
I bring it to the counter and the store owner a middle aged guy is standing there chatting to the local Mr Music Know it All. I ask how much, they both look it over and say that it's a reissue so how about $12. No Problem please take my money.

 

I know a lot of people around my age who don't collect music who know about mono audio and what it is. It's an option on iPhones audio settings to turn your audio into mono so you can get the whole mix in one headphone.. Now if she asks what quadrophonic is, then it's a different story because quad has phased out quicker than mono.

I don't need a girl to come up and talk to me at a record store so I can get a date when I got a already got a girl who I can date.

 

He's no Jen Issis, that's for sure.

 

There was actually a girl working behind the counter in one of our local record stores- when I bought my Ram LP she actually said, "I love this album!" (this girl was in her early 20's thereabouts), and, another visit, when I stumbled across a scratched to sh-t first issue of Blood On The Tracks with the original liner notes, when she saw how ratched the LP was she said, "Are you sure you wanna buy this?" Even though I'd found the record in the $3 bargain section, I put it back just the same- I have no fancy to own a copy of Blood On The Tracks that sounded like a bowl of Rice Crispies.

That sounds like something my old man would say...he hated Pink Floyd, thought it was "druggie music"

 

Although I didn't work at the store, a guy saw me in the jazz section and wanted me to show him a CD with saxophone. Nothing else, just sax. I said well, there's going to be a rhythm section, but no, he wanted a CD with a completely solo sax.

I pointed him towards the Sonny Rollins album that features just that and assume he was disappointed.

 

"Always go for 180gr records, that's the best."

...

 

That's a legit question.

 

Two twenty-something hipsters looking at Ramones albums: "You only really need to get one of their albums since they just kept recording the same song over and over again."

It wasn't so much the statement that bothered me but the fact that they were discussing things quite loudly (and obviously on purpose) for everyone in the smallish store to hear. Know-it-alls parading their ignorance. Oh, and I also learned from them that the Clash's debut album was London Calling. I wanted to pull out my old man card and tell them a thing or three.

 

Most dumbest thing for me might just be the time I walked into Record Collector in Los Angeles on Melrose and the latter-day Ray Bradbury lookalike behind the counter asks "Are you looking for anything in particular?" and when I shake my head and say "just browsing" he says "Our records are VERY expensive!" ....... So, I say "Oh, thank you" and promptly leave.

 

And that other dude Jethro Tull...

 

This doesn't sound really dumb to me. It sounds cool that you saw and I assume got into a great band in its infancy.

 

Back in the 90's I overheard the following statement from some young girl to her friend ..."Did you know that Paul McCartney was in a band before Wings?"

 

my fave:
'I love Pink Floyd, he's so damn spacey!'