Music Humor

Discussion in 'Music Corner' started by Bogey, Mar 28, 2015.

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  1. Ignatius

    Ignatius Forum Resident

    "Is that the banjo player's Porsche outside?"-Phil Keogh, from Mo Foster's book.
     
  2. mmars982

    mmars982 Forum Resident

    Location:
    Pittsburgh, PA
    Q. How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

    A. Who cares? We can program a machine to do it.
     
  3. [​IMG]

    Translation:

    "We want to clarify to the appreciated audience that the piece that the "Harmonicus Tercet" will perform next is not Haydn's trio No. 3 in G major for two flutes plus violoncello, but Haydn's trio No. 3 in G major for VIOLONCELLO plus two flutes."
     
  4. Tony Sclafani

    Tony Sclafani Forum Resident

    Location:
    East Coast, USA
  5. Why did the Grateful Dead have two drummers?
    In case one fell asleep.

    Supposedly a true story:
    Back in the 1940s Big Band era, Tommy Dorsey's Orchestra was hired to appear in a Hollywood movie. The Director's Assistant told Dorsey to have the band on the set the next day at 8:30 for makeup. "8:30"? Dorsey said. "In the morning?" "Yes, of course in the morning", the assistant replied. Dorsey said "My boys don't start vomiting until about 11:00"!
     
    JL6161, kronning, Farmer Mike and 3 others like this.
  6. gregorya

    gregorya I approve of this message

    How many trumpet players does it take to pave a driveway?



    Seven- if you lay them out correctly.
     
  7. hackster

    hackster Forum Resident

    Location:
    southern WV, USA
    [​IMG]
     
    Bogey and drasil like this.
  8. SizzleVonSizzleton

    SizzleVonSizzleton The Last Yeti

    What do you call a guy hanging out with a bunch of musicians?

    A drummer!
     
    bonestorm and Tony Sclafani like this.
  9. Rocker

    Rocker Senior Member

    Location:
    Ontario, Canada
    Q: what's the difference between a podiatrist and a bad drummer?

    A: a podiatrist bucks up the feet.
     
    rockledge and John54 like this.
  10. Farmer Mike

    Farmer Mike Forum Resident

    Another supposedly true story:
    Bob Wills needed a steel guitar player and after a audition in the afternoon, Willis decides to have the guy sit in that night. He tells the guy, "When you get a solo, make sure it's exciting". That night they start the set and Wllis again tells the already nervous steel player,"When you get to that solo, do something exciting". As the song comes up with his solo, the steel player has to hear Wills lean over and say, "That solo, make it exciting." At the point of the tune that will feature his solo, the guy hears Wills say, "Here's your solo, make it exciting", at which point the guy leans a little too hard into his rig and knocks the whole thing off the stage and onto the dance floor, causing Wills to say, "Hey, that was exciting!"
    I heard this from 2 different customers, one who said his cousin was the player auditioning. What might be the true story is about 17 posts down on this page.
    http://steelguitarforum.com/Archives/Archive-000003/HTML/20011227-1-008407.html
    A steel guitar forum, who knew?
     
    Last edited: Mar 29, 2015
  11. Farmer Mike

    Farmer Mike Forum Resident

  12. broccolid

    broccolid Trickologist

    Location:
    Austin, TX
    What do Ginger Baker and 7-11 Coffee have in common?

    They both suck without Cream.
     
    Dudley Morris and mfp like this.
  13. Licorice pizza

    Licorice pizza Livin’ On The Fault Line

    Q: Why was the symphony conductor arrested?

    A: He was trying to molest A minor.
     
  14. rockledge

    rockledge Forum Resident

    Location:
    right here
    I always heard that one about drummers, and my expereince has been that it is true.

    What is the difference between a trombone and a trampoline?
    You can jump up and down on a trampoline with your shoes off.

    What do you say when the singer knocks on the door?
    Nothing, he is going to come in when he wants anyway.

    What is perfect pitch?
    When you toss an accordion onto a junk pike and hit a banjo.
     
    audiotom and OneStepBeyond like this.
  15. Licorice pizza

    Licorice pizza Livin’ On The Fault Line

    What's the difference between a guitarist and a savings bond?

    The bond eventually matures and makes money.


    How do you shut up a lead guitarist?

    Put some sheet music in front of him.

    What's the difference between Kenny G and a machine gun?

    The machine gun repeats only ten times per second.
     
    Last edited: Mar 30, 2015
    JL6161 and audiotom like this.
  16. Hey Vinyl Man

    Hey Vinyl Man Another bloody Yank down under...

    My all time favorite: One musician asks another if he can play the Hallelujiah Chorus, and the other musician says, "Oh, I think I can Handel it."
     
    Licorice pizza and audiotom like this.
  17. joefont

    joefont Senior Member

    Alternate punchline - "I Don't Need No Doctor"
     
  18. amoergosum

    amoergosum Forum Resident

    Location:
    Germany
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