The 24 Greatest Rock Songs Ever Made According to Stephen King

Stevie's Wonders

So I run into one of my Constant Readers and — everybody's a critic — the guy says, ''Your column's suckin' out lately, Steve. You're losin' your edge.'' My first impulse is to tell him I have a cozy place where he can put my column, but since he looks like a recently retired Hell's Angel, I rethink this option. Instead I ask him what he thinks would make a good piece.

''Best rock songs of all time,'' he says. ''That subject always starts arguments, especially if you don't put 'Stairway' on there.''

I realized he was right. Especially since the idea of putting ''Stairway to Heaven'' on such a list grosses me out. So I decided to take my biker buddy up on his idea. Twenty-four great songs, one for every hour of the day, picked by the Infallible Me.

I began by throwing out most of those Internet lists, because they're full of ballads (''Tears in Heaven'' as rock & roll? Oh, really?), soul (''When a Man Loves a Woman'' is a great song but it's not rock), and tunes that have been played to death. There's also an amazing number of draggy songs on the lists, like ''Hotel California.'' When would I like to hear that one again? Uh...how does never work for you?

I also eliminated all disco. I love Thelma Houston's ''Don't Leave Me This Way'' (plus everything by KC and the Sunshine Band, sue me), but it ain't rock & roll.

The stuff that hasn't stood the test of time went out too. When ''Lucy in the Sky With Diamonds'' or ''Born to Be Wild'' comes on my car radio (which is, by the way, a NO SUPREMES ZONE), I break my fingers switching the station. These songs have nothing new to say to me. The songs on the list that follows always have something new to say. So, with no further introduction, THE 24 GREATEST ROCK SONGS EVER MADE.

They really are. Trust your Uncle Stevie on this.

24. ''IN-A-GADDA-DA-VIDA,'' Iron Butterfly

Only the long version counts. Which you can't get on iTunes, curse them.

23. ''DEAD FLOWERS,'' the Rolling Stones

Their finest rock-and-country fusion.

22. ''NEEDLES AND PINS,'' the Searchers

The epitome of folk rock.

21. ''I GET AROUND,'' the Beach Boys

Pretty white-bread, but unlike the odious ''Kokomo,'' it has stood the test of time.

20. ''ON THE DARK SIDE,'' John Cafferty and the Beaver Brown Band

Still smokin' after all these years. Simple and cool.

19. ''YOU NEVER CAN TELL,'' Chuck Berry

The father of us all. And whoa! The whole story of true love and happy marriage in two and a half minutes? Can't argue with that.

18. ''I WANT TO HELP YOU ANN,'' the Lyres

The best stalker rock song ever. Listen to it once and you'll never bother with ''Every Breath You Take'' again.

17. ''LONG COOL WOMAN IN A BLACK DRESS,'' the Hollies

Should get old, but somehow never does.

16. ''DON'T BE CRUEL,'' Elvis Presley

Total bebop testifying. Brian Setzer would sell his soul to do this.

15. ''AIN'T NO FUN (WAITING ROUND TO BE A MILLIONAIRE),'' AC/DC

The quintessential AC/DC hook...played over...and over...and over.

14. ''SIXTY MINUTE MAN,'' the Dominoes

Basic dirty boogie boasting, 1950s style. What could be finer?

13. ''MASS. AVE.,'' Willie Alexander

Rattle-box guitar and the weirdest male falsetto ever laid down; it's Boston punk at its best.

12. ''THE GIRL CAN'T HELP IT,'' Little Richard

Can you imagine this guy on American Idol? The mind boggles.

11. ''SHE LOVES YOU,'' The Beatles

I've said it before and I'll say it again: It's the best Beatles track because it gets in, does its business, and gets back out again.

10. ''A BIG HUNK O' LOVE,'' Elvis Presley

Almost eclipsed by Elvis' screaming vocal is the rock era's best barrelhouse piano.

9. ''BIP BOP BOOM,'' Mickey Hawks

Under two minutes and still the greatest rockabilly record ever made.

8. ''LET'S HAVE A PARTY,'' Wanda Jackson

That raspy, frantic vocal has never been equaled. Ms. Jackson makes Beyoncé look like Britney.

7. ''NEW ORLEANS,'' Gary U.S. Bonds

Terrific recorded-in-a-bathroom reverb, insanely danceable backbeat. Earl Swanson's sax is the Special Bonus Feature.

6. ''RAMROD,'' Bruce Springsteen

His cleanest, coolest, purest track. To quote Mr. Berry, his guitar rings like a bell.

5. ''C'MON EVERYBODY,'' Eddie Cochran

The apocalyptic call of the teenage male: Dude, let's party. And screw the consequences.

4. ''STUPID CUPID,'' Connie Francis

Don't argue; the vocal is hotter than a pistol, and it's the best clap track ever. Stupid cupid, stop pickin' on me: Ay-men.

3. ''MYSTERY DANCE,'' Elvis Costello

It's 1:35, but how much angry, frustrated sex can you take?

2. ''BURNING LOVE,'' Elvis Presley

He saved the best for last. Lawd-a-mighty, I feel my temperature rising.

1. ''ANARCHY IN THE U.K.,'' The Sex Pistols

This song still sums up what I love about rock & roll: anger and joy and urgency, all compressed into three and a half minutes of drums and buzz-saw guitar. By God, even the name of the group sweats rock & roll.

 

A few ringers and naturally a few essentials(IMO) missing but his list is pretty respectable if he only hadn't begun with Turgid Butterfly.

 

Connie Francis in the top 5 Greatest Rock songs ever made?

 

Forget it! And no "Hound Dog"! No "I Want To Hold Your Hand"! No "Rumble"!
No "Like A Rolling Stone"! No "Be My Baby"! And "Dead Flowers" is a better rock song than "Satisfaction"?

This guy really is a horror writer.

 

Why do you expect him to have the same taste that you do?

 

It's called having an opinion.

 

and more people will care about his, than mine.

actually I like a lot of those songs, too

 

The Rolling Stones track he chose was Dead Flowers? There are many more deserving songs from earlier in their catalog, imo.

 

Uncle Stevie,

your list is total:

B. S.

with no,

"Snowblind" !?

 

At Best...

...this is a list of personal favorites and there is no accounting for personal taste (mine or yours)

 

Yea, I liked that song when I first heard it, too... when it was called "She's the One" by Bruce Springsteen.

 

If I was a betting man, I would have lost a bundle, being 99% sure he'd throw some RAMONES in there. (Not that I would, King just seems to cite them frequently in his books.)

 

He had to make room for.... Connie Francis

 

I realize I wasn't there at the time and I realize that every music has its fans, but "In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida"? It's hard for me to believe anyone would listen to it all the way through.

 

Beach Blanket Bingo must be his favorite horror movie.

 

Yeah and I thought he was a huge AC/DC fan too...

 

That's not what he said, though, is it?

 

It's okay not to have Stairway to Heaven on a top-24 list (we all got tired of hearing it back in '72 or so, but it is a great song)...but there should be at least ONE Led Zeppelin song on that list somewhere...

...Dazed and Confused is pretty spooky...seems to be right up SK's alley.....

...but then what's notable about this list is the lack of scary or morbid songs in general, considering the source.....

 

Absolutely one of the greatest songs of all time! Hat's of to SK for listing that one!

 

Good list, few of the picks would make it on my list but that isn't important. What l appreciate is the listing of the songs inspired me to reflect on my favourites; reminded of past music forgotten about and motivated me to check out some unfamiliar music.

Thank you much appreciated.

 

Stupid Cupid is pretty scary if you ask me.

 

There's an AC/DC song on there.

 

i need to get out more often...i havent heard of most of the tunes, or some people just love to drop some tunes that I never heard...

 

not one of these would be on my list, but c'mon guys... this is a pretty respectable list compared to most that get published, imo...

Wanda Jackson...need i say more? king is ok in my book.