The Separation

After fifteen years of trying to make it work, my wife and I have agreed to a separation. No, neither of us is moving out of the house. I'm moving the stereo out of the living room.

When my wife met and married me, I was a law student, and my stereo was in storage. When we first set up housekeeping, we had a conversation something like this. Me: "Hmm... Well, the only place for the speakers is in front of this wall" [indicating prime living room real estate]. Her: "Really? Why not put them in the corners?" Me [trying to stay calm]: "Well, that really wouldn't work, honey, because [insert long-winded explanation]." Her: "Oh. Well, I could always put this couch in between them." Me [trying to stay calm]: "Well, that really wouldn't work, honey, because [insert long-winded explanation]." Repeat with minor variations. Coda: Her: "Oh, you and your stupid stereo!"

Once we were given some sterling silver religious articles as a gift and she put them on top of the stereo, "To show that it's sacred," she said.

The last straw came a few days ago, when she wanted to place a coffee table smack in the listening position. Me [trying to stay calm]: "Well, that really wouldn't work, honey, because [insert long-winded explanation]." My mother happened to be visiting, and intervened. Mom: "You mean you to have to be sitting in that exact spot to listen to your music?" Me: "Well, yes, because [insert long-winded explanation]." Mom: "You know, if you moved the speakers a few inches closer to the wall, you would have room to fit your listening chair in front of the coffee table." Me [trying to stay calm]: "Well, that really wouldn't work, Mom, because [insert further long-winded explanation]." Mom [with a look of gathering horror on her face]: "You're crazy!"

Maybe it was the shock of my own mother calling me crazy, but I revisited the whole question of keeping the stereo in the living room to begin with. Why is it there? I had always rationalized that it was there for company. If we had guests, we could provide music for them. But in reality, this almost never happens. If we have guests, the most usual activity is conversation, which is not compatible with music. The only guests who show an interest in my music collection or stereo system are, predictably enough, fellow music-lovers and audiophiles. With them, I might as well go to another room, where we can listen to our hearts' content without irritating the wives and children, or interrupting their conversation.

So I'm moving the stereo to the basement. The basement is quite nice; it's not an airless cellar, but a large space that is only below grade on one side. It has windows on that side, and a sliding glass door on the opposite side, level with the ground. The floor is a concrete slab covered with tiles, foam underlay, and a rug. The walls are plasterboard, partially covered with shelves of books and records. My CD cabinets are down there, too, as is the office space with the computer where I catalog my records, do my needle drops, visit the SH Forum, etc. So why not?

The only downside, my wife says, is that she and the children will never see me again. But that's not true. With the stereo in the living room, getting any time to listen was a constant series of compromises with the wife and kids, all of whom had competing claims to what was, in fairness, a common area. So I tended to give up and spend my time in the basement anyway. Now when I want to listen, I will; simple as that. And when I'm upstairs with the family, they'll have my undivided attention. Not so bad, eh?

So my project for the long weekend is moving the stereo to the basement and setting it up. I'll hire my 14-year-old to help with the heavy lifting, etc. Due to space constraints, I'll set up the speakers for near-field listening, but I'll set them up just as I like, without compromise. Maybe some acoustic treatment will be necessary; if so, I'll install it, again without compromise. Fun!

I should have done this years ago.

 

Sounds like a wise course of action to me!

Crank it up!

 

I looove my basement. It allows me to listen uninterrupted (most of the time). If I could just get my daughter and her friend she brought from college out of there I could be listening now.

 

I've got three words for you: Metal Machine Music .

[Friend: 'Oooh, Metal Machine Music.. I grew up listening to this album! Great stuff!'
You: (curses)]

 

Thanks, RZangpo2. That was a fun read, and it looks like you've worked out a good solution.

My wife had problems with my stereo too, but she came up with a pretty effective solution all on her own. And my mom's always known that I'm crazy, but she also knows exactly where it comes from.

 

Thank you!

LOL!!!

 

She left.


Pretty sure it had to do with more than just my speakers, though.

 

Do mixed marriages (audiophiles and non-audiophiles) ever really work?

 

I'm single, live alone in a big apartment, and even I have to make compromises...but my setup is a lot better than when I initially moved in, I'll say that..

 

No problem...it was a long time ago.

Oh, HELL no! She'd think we were all crazy (which I guess would've taken a little heat off of me).

I'm obviously not the one to ask, but I'm sure they could. Where I went wrong was marrying someone who was too young. She went wrong by marrying a "crazy" guy.

 

Must be a long-lost sister of my ex.

I made my move in the opposite direction. When I lived with my parents as a teen, my system was still small enough that I could get it into my bedroom. But once I got video gear, and a 36" RPTV, it was all over--basement time permanently. When I tied the knot and moved to Detroit, I took over a back bedroom as office/"toy" room, but had the speakers wired for the living room. Worked great, as I had a nearly identical pair in that tiny bedroom and could listen either way. Moved here, and while I'd again taken over a bedroom, it was too difficult to listen with my older daughter in the next room. Plus, I'd just gotten a computer, and had a small system in the basement that just wasn't cuttin' it. Down everything went. When my ex moved out last July, I brought my good stuff up into MY living room. Not a lot of it, but enough. And some LPs. My "modest" system is being reassembled in the basement now...