Things that happen in the movies, but seldom in real life

Witty repartee (sp) that goes on and on, a la Moonlighting, Gillmore Girls, or any Mamet movie

 

Real life is boring, I watch movies to ESCAPE real life.

 

They'll often just throw their hands up and go right to "As you know."

"As you know, your father was the head of a multinational corporation and always intended for you to succeed him."

 

Bathtubs and sinks will always overflow in the movies if the taps are left running.

Every tub and sink in every house I've ever lived in has had a small drainage hole near the top to prevent overflow.... but apparently movie fixtures don't come with these safety precautions.

 

Both in movies and on TV:

A crime has been committed. The police arrive to ask questions. They interview a witness and at some point, the witness' phone goes off or they otherwise indicate "I have to be somewhere else, I'm leaving..."

In the real world, most people are terrified to be interviewed by the police, and they are NOT going to say "excuse me, I have other things to do" in the middle of the interview.

 

The new guy with no name will die in the next few minutes.

 

The skulls of zombies are paper thin, and can be pierced with any available knife.

Oh, you meant real life!

 

The beautiful girl ends up with the not-so-good-looking guy, with the good heart.

That only happens in real life if the guy has money.

 

Anytime anyone drives to a building, there is always a convenient parking space right in front.

 

Hollywood is under the mistaken impression that Pennsylvania and Florida have license plates on the front and back of their cars. Both states only have rear license plates.

 

And you never see them carrying keys as they get out of the car. Well, I guess they could have a car with the electronic key and a push button to start the car.

 

And another one I just thought of.....when a car is speeding on a curvy dirt road, the tires squeal.

 

I'm still holding out hope that my lifelong dream of walking away from explosion in slow motion come true.

 

Good luck with that.....

 

If a character in a movie coughs, they will die.
If a character is obviously guilty, they almost certainly aren't.

 

Nerds never got the popular girl or boy to fall in love with them for their true selves.

 

No one in real life has ever heard Scarlett Johansson say, "You have an ass that makes me want to dry hump."

 

Being able to outrun on foot a fireball from an explosion less than 1o feet away. Of course, it was taken to extreme in Starship Troopers when a group of soldiers could outrun a blast from a tactical nuclear weapon.

As for the eating Chinese food out of boxes, I am glad no one here does that. It is the one cliche that always annoyed me. Of course, Hollywood wants people to read things immediately, and seeing people eat out of boxes with chopsticks and you know what they are doing in the movie. If the food was just in plates, they could be eating almost anything.

Other cliches are people carrying grocery bags. At one time, when they wanted to show people bringing home groceries, there was always a bunch of celery or carrots with ends sticking out of the bag to show they were groceries, or someone eating a carrot while carrying the bag. By the 80's, it changed to a baguette sticking out of the bag.

 

Depends on how quickly the water is running, turn the water on too strong and those drainage holes can't handle it and it will still overflow.

 

Ordering drinks (often several) at a bar, and never paying a cent for them comes to mind.

 

Getting slammed in the head a dozen times and retaining your ability to fight on.

 

Nine times out of ten, no-one ever takes a sip out of those drinks.

 

Well, there's another thing that only happens in the movies.

 

I have two that continue to irk me.
First, as a practicing martial artist, and one who spars at least once per week, I think I have some practical view on this subject.
When the 6'4", 275lb, strapping man who is supposed to be the brute force, trained fighter type gets totally pummeled by a 115lb 5'3" person I tend to toss the BS flag. Especially when the big guy was just seen obliterating a few other similarly sized individuals of equal prowess. In real life the big trained guy would simply take the first hit, grab the little fighter, and bend them.
Second is the current trend of the totally helpless, inept, doofus, middle aged white male. This is currently prevalent in commercials (radio and TV), TV shows and movies.

 

When a lone semi truck is driving down a highway on a perfect sunny day. Suddenly, out of nowhere, three highly modified sports cars appear. The cars surround and harass the truck for a period of time and then block its path and slow it down. When slowed enough the passenger in the lead car emerges from the sunroof with a giant spear gun and shoots a cabled grapple hook INTO the cab of the truck. With the cable now firmly attached to the truck the passenger then makes their way into the truck to stop the truck...all while the truck driver calmly drives straight, steady, and unflinching to his own peril.