You Know You Have Too Many Records When....

Last year I dumped my wardrobe to make room for two new Ikea cubes..clothes storage...or record storage..wasn't a difficult decision

 

You're familiar with the terms Malm, Kivik, and Kallax...

 

You have a mental block against playing your vinyl, as it would be giving one record 'special treatment' over another.

 

You still consider records you've sold or traded as 'part of your collection'.

 

You plan to one day press your own records at home, because, well... why not?

 

Today I went into central London to buy clothes.

I came back with 3 records...and no clothes. Whoops!

 

...your idea of being "budget-conscious" when ordering vinyl is to choose standard shipping rather than two-day!

 

To your surprise, you get a half erection from pulling a shiny mint record from what was predicted from cover wear to be a well worn record. You suddenly understand the genesis of your record compulsion.

 

...you'd rather try and outrun an avalanche than part with any of your Robert Ludwig pressings!

 

You get that 'excited, have to go to the bathroom' physiological effect upon entering a record store, just like you did as a kid when you were in a toy store.

 

Your floor breaks and falls down because of the weight

 

You chuckle to yourself when you think just how 'out of control' your record collection has gotten. But only for a moment.

 

You would like to think that every country on earth has a 'top-hoarder of vinyl record albums'. They are members of your soul family.

 

When you solve this problem by creating an alphabetized list you can consult at the record store. And you still end up buying a second copy when you get too excited at finding it to remember to consult the list first.

 

You can tell the condition of the vinyl, within a .5 +/- grade, just by looking at the jacket.

 

Girlfriends, past/present, and even friends and family and goods and services, are subject to the Poor (P), Fair (F), Good (G), Good Plus (G+), Very Good (VG) , Very Good Plus (VG+), Near Mint (NM or M-) grading system, with some degrees of various +, -’s, and EX, EX+, EX-’s thrown in for good measure.

It's time that ex's rating rose to a solid EX-.

If societies in general adopted these ratings, the world would be a better (+) place.

 

Yeah..Kallax cubes if I must be precise..

 

Actually, I must corrcect myself, I purchased 3 Kallax cubes. They now stand floor to ceiling where my wardrobe once stood, and already they're almost full.

 

actually getting rid of your TV is a good idea regardless of the space you have

 

Yes, I never thought of it like that.

Except I'd be at a loss if I got the urge to watch Magical Mystery Tour or Elvis Presley's Double Trouble.

 

You forgot that you are already pressing your own records (from page 62)!

 

...you traded in some records to the record store to free up space, and came home with more records!

 

...you once bought a wall of records from the record store!

 

...you've searched 30 years for a valid reason as to why one does not need a thousand Elvis Presley albums. You're still searching...

 

...your house collapses into a sink hole.