Your favorite single line from a Seinfeld show

"You can really taste the kale!"

 

Low talker - "You BASTARD!"

 

Now that I heard!

 

"So, what you are saying is that ninety to ninety-five percent of the population is undateable?"
"Undateable!"
"Then how are all these people getting together?"
"Alcohol."

 

I think it moved

 

Pennypacker's Lonely Hearts Club Band

 

I don't want to be a pirate!

 

She's a BL.
BL?
Beautiful Lineswoman.

 

It was "re-gifted" !!!

 

When they pull that needle out, I let the expletives fly!

 

Fusilli Jerry!

 

Why can't he have the bananas on the side!

 

Pretty much every line uttered by the library cop (aka Lt. Bookman) portrayed by Philip Baker Hall in 'The Library' episode.


Yeah, '71. That was my first year on the job. Bad year for libraries. Bad year for America. Hippies burning library cards, Abby Hoffman telling everybody to steal books. I don't judge a man by the length of his hair or the kind of music he listens to. Rock was never my bag. But you put on a pair of shoes when you walk into the New York Public Library, fella.

Well, let me tell you something, funny boy. Y'know that little stamp, the one that says "New York Public Library"? Well that may not mean anything to you, but that means a lot to me. One whole hell of a lot. Sure, go ahead, laugh if you want to. I've seen your type before: Flashy, making the scene, flaunting convention. Yeah, I know what you're thinking. What's this guy making such a big stink about old library books? Well, let me give you a hint, junior. Maybe we can live without libraries, people like you and me. Maybe. Sure, we're too old to change the world, but what about that kid, sitting down, opening a book, right now, in a branch at the local library and finding drawings of pee-pees and wee-wees on the Cat in the Hat and the Five Chinese Brothers? Doesn't HE deserve better? Look. If you think this is about overdue fines and missing books, you'd better think again. This is about that kid's right to read a book without getting his mind warped! Or: maybe that turns you on, Seinfeld; maybe that's how y'get your kicks. You and your good-time buddies. Well I got a flash for ya, joy-boy: Party time is over. Y'got seven days, Seinfeld. That is one week!

I remember when the librarian was a much older woman: Kindly, discreet, unattractive. We didn't know anything about her private life. We didn't want to know anything about her private life. She didn't have a private life. While you're thinking about that, think about this: The library closes at five o'clock, no exceptions. This is your final warning. Got that, kewpie-doll?

Hard feelings? What do you know about hard feelings? Y'ever have a man die in your arms? Y'ever kill somebody?

What's my problem? Punks like you, that's my problem. And you better not screw up again Seinfeld, because if you do, I'll be all over you like a pitbull on a poodle.

 

This went gold Jerry, Gold!

 

You tell me to get a pair of underwear, I'm back in two minutes.

 

Give my best to Hinckley

 

Stella! Stella!

 

"Maybe the dingo ate your baby?"

 

"Oh, of course, Todd Gack. Who did you bet was in Star Wars? Sammy Davis Jr. ?"

 

You mugged Stephen Hawking?

 

I always enjoyed the Janeane Garofalo episode where she plays the female version of Jerry. The scene when they are sitting down at the coffee shop, a guy walks by there table and trips: "that's a shame". She does it with Jerry's timing.

 

"As I rained down blows upon him, I said, 'there has to be another way!'"

 

Is that a Titleist?

 

I do too. The attention to detail is tremendous, from the cartoon Kruger to Martin Van Buren to the Estelle Costanza doll to the sleeping security guard in the chair.

My only complaint is including Derek Jeter but not Keith Hernandez!