Your favorite single line from a Seinfeld show

Did anyone else catch Larry David on Letterman? Hilarious. He told a story about a hotel maid who walked in on him naked and was so traumatized she resigned and returned to Poland. Whether it was real or made up it sounds like something straight out of a Seinfeld episode.

 

"Serenity now, insanity later".

 

Think you're waiting for this one :

"Pipe down, chorus boy".

 

"We had a funny guy with us in Korea, a tailgunner...they blew his brains out all over the Pacific."

 

GEORGE: If she doesn't show up, we can't possibly have dinner with him alone.
JERRY: How are we gonna get out of it?
GEORGE: We'll say we're frightened and we have to go home.
JERRY: Yeah, that's good. He'd clunk our heads together like Moe.

 

KRAMER: You know, they're all preoccupied, trying to hunt down this new psycho-serial killer, the Lopper. All right, I'll see ya.

ELAINE: Wait a minute, wait a minute. Who is the Lopper?

KRAMER: Oh, it's no big deal. It's just some guy who's been running around Riverside park-pffff. You know, cutting people's heads off.

JERRY: How come I haven't read about this?

KRAMER: Well, you know, the police, they've been having some internal dissension about the name.

ELAINE: Really? What're the other titles?

KRAMER: Uh, Headso...uh...The Denogginizer...Son of dad.

JERRY: Son of dad?

KRAMER: Yeah. That was my suggestion. It's sort of a catchall.

 

"I hate asking for change. They always make a face. It's like asking them to donate a kidney."

 

"This bread has nuts in it!"

and every time I'm walking thru and my wife is watching one of the dozen Love It Or List It type shows

"These are load bearing walls!"

 

Why would I, a Julliard trained dermatologist, send him to another doctor?

 

Yes, I've seen moles so big they have their own moles. Freckles that cover two men.

 

GEORGE: How bout Kramer or Elaine, they don't want them?

JERRY: I asked. Elaine laughed at me, Kramer's only interested in Canadian football.

 

Kramer: Listen, is it all right if I watch a tape in here?

Jerry: Why here?

Kramer: Well, I'm taping Canadian Parliament, you know on C-Span.

 

"It's like a Sizzler's opened up a hospital!"

 

Unbelievable work.

 

ELAINE: Phew! This chair smells like garbage.

KRAMER: Oh, well a lot of the stars from the 70's - they were not as hygienic as they appeared on TV. Yeah, you can take Mannix for example.

 

George: Where's the sunblock?

Jerry: Here.

George: 25? You don't have anything higher?

Jerry: What, are you on Mercury?

George: I need higher. This has paba in it, I need paba-free.

Jerry: You got a problem with paba?

George: Yes, I have a problem with paba.

Jerry: You don't even know what paba is.

George: I know enough to stay away from it.

 

Elaine: So I guess you're not going to Todd's party on Friday.

George: Well I can't now, Gwen's going to be there.

Kramer: Well she should be the one that shouldn't go.

Jerry: Well if a couple breaks up and have plans to go to a neutral place, who withdraws? What's the ettiquite?

Kramer: Excellent question.

Jerry: I think she should withdraw. She's the breaker, he's the breakee. He needs to get on with his life.

Elaine: I beg to differ.

Jerry: Really.

Elaine: He's the *loser*. She's the victor. To the victor belong the spoils.

 

HE'S IN THE BATHROOM!

 

"I'm just sayin' I wanna have some fun."

 

shrinkage