Your favorite single line from a Seinfeld show

The Rogue's Wallet.
That's where he kept his lie, his dirty little secret. Short, devious, balding; his name was Costanza. He killed my mother.

 

Kuger...my son told me your company stinks!!

You couldn't smooth a silk sheet if you had a hot date with a babe....I completely lost my train of thought.

As I rained blows down upon him I thought there had to be a better way.

That whole episode.

 

"The sea was angry that day, my friends - like an old man trying to send back soup in a deli"

.

 

"Did he crumble any crackers in it?"

 

"If you take everything I've done in my life and condense it down into one day, it looks decent." -George Costanza

 

Kramer (after Susan's death): "Poor Lilly".

 

Not bloody likely

 

"This is Frank Costanza. You think you can keep us out of Florida? We're movin' in lock, stock, and barrel. We're gonna be in the pool, we're gonna be in the clubhouse, we're gonna be allll over that shuffleboard court, and I dare you to keep me out!"

The way he closes his eyes during the rant just kills me.

 

Elaine at the nail salon:

Korean women laughing
Elaine: What's so funny?
Korean Woman: ...She tell knock knock joke.

 

"If I hear an anguished oink, I am out of here"!

 

"Jerry, it's Frank Costanza. Mr. Steinbrenner's here! George is dead! Call me back!"

 

One of my favorite lines!!

 

You ask me to get a pair of underwear, I'm back in two seconds.

 

Kramer: "The Dewey Decimal System...what a scam that was! Boy, that Dewey really cleaned up on that deal".

Sidenote: Every Frank Costanza line cracks me up. He's comedy gold, Jerry. Gold!

 

From two years ago:

 

"Nothing could be finer than being in your diner"

 

I love this so much.
Particularly

"Flashy, makin' the scene.."
and the expression on Jerry's face when he says it.

 

My favorite is this:

Maybe we can live without libraries, people like you and me. Maybe. Sure, we're too old to change
the world, but what about that kid, sitting down, opening a book, right
now, in a branch at the local library and finding drawings of pee-pees
and wee-wees on the Cat in the Hat and the Five Chinese Brothers?
Doesn't HE deserve better?

That there is the heart of the whole bit. Here Bookman spells it out plain as day his motivation. Brilliant!

 

Another great Bookman scene:

"I remember when the librarian was a much older woman - kindly, discreet, unattractive.

We didn't know anything about her private life; we didn't want to know anything about her private life. She didn't have a private life."

 

Another favorite.

"You think people will still be using napkins in the year 2000? Or is this mouth vacuum thing for real?"
-The Millenium

 

"Cable boy. Cable boy. What have you done to my little cable boy?"

 

I always thought it looked as if Jerry was struggling to get through these scenes without cracking up. Philip Baker Hall took that role and just ran through a brick wall with it.

 

He later shows up on Curb and is great there, too, albeit in a different way.

 

Haven't seen it, but he's really a great actor in any genre.