Your favorite single line from a Seinfeld show

Frank: George, we've had it with you. Understand? We love you like a son, but even parents have limits.

Poppie: Did I ever tell you about my mother?

 

JERRY: Marriage is a big step, Elaine. Your life'll totally change.

ELAINE: Jerry, it's three-thirty in the morning. I'm at a cockfight. What am I clinging to?

-The Little Jerry

later, chris

 

from "The Opera" episode


Jerry: "That is one angry clown."

Elaine (speaking to Jerry): "You know, it is so sad. All your knowledge of high culture comes from Bugs Bunny cartoons."

 

Who leaves a country packed with ponies to come to a non-pony country?

 

either

Jerry: Holland *is* the Netherlands.

George: Then who are the Dutch?

or

KRAMER: Elaine, I broke the price-gun, so I had to move to plan B.

ELAINE: Plan B? There is no plan B.

 

From "The Phone Message" episode, George uttering the (wrong) warning codeword to Jerry: "Tippy toe! Tippy toe! Lemon tree!"

It's not so much the words, but George's delivery and the setup and scene that make it classic!

 

Absolutely agree! LOL.

 

JERRY: Bozo the Clown...does he really need "the clown" in his title? Are we going to confuse him with Bozo the district attorney? Bozo the pope? There's no other Bozo...

 

"Yada,Yada,Yada"..the line Julia-Louise Dryfuss (Elaine) will always be remembered for,whether she like it,or not!

 

NOEL: I ... am breaking up ... with you!

GEORGE: You can't break up with me. I've got hand.

NOEL: And you're going to need it.

 

I'm gonna slip him a mickey

 

"Seinfeld, four!"

 

there is some great stuff in this thread and maybe i missed it, but where in the world is Elaine's:

GET...OUT!!!

 

http://www.seinfeldscripts.com/

later, chris

 

this sequence is pretty good....

(George approaches Mr. Eldridge as he's entering his new apartment. George is carrying Kramer's sea tales book)
GEORGE: Ahoy! Mr. Eldridge. I understand you were on the Andrea Doria.
ELDRIDGE: Yes, it was a terrifying ordeal.
GEORGE: I tell ya, I hear people really stuff themselves on those cruise ships. (Laughs) The buffet, that's the real ordeal, huh, Clarence? (Laughs)
ELDRIDGE: (Defensively) We had to abandon ship.
GEORGE: Well, all vacations have to end eventually.
ELDRIDGE: The boat sank.
GEORGE: (Holding up Kramer's book) According to this, it took.. 10 hours. It eased into the water like an old man into a nice warm bath - no offence. (Pause) So,
uh, Clarence, how about abandoning this apartment, and letting me shove off in this beauty?
ELDRIDGE: Is that what this is all about?! I don't think I like you. (Enters his apartment, and slams the door behind him)
GEORGE: (Yelling out) It's my apartment, Eldridge! The Stalkholm may not have sunk ya, but I will! Ha, ha, ha!

 

http://www.seinfeldscripts.com/TheShowerhead.htm

later, chris

 

There are just sooo many, but this is the last one I'll post for a wile, if I can help it!

http://www.seinfeldscripts.com/TheBubbleBoy.htm

later, chris

 

My name is George. I’m unemployed and I live with my parents.

 

Elaine ;
"Shouldn't you be out on a ledge somewhere?"

 

Today is Festivus! For the rest of us! Now air out your grievances.

 

Kramer: "Bad Chicken! Mess you Up!!"
(from the Kenny Rogers Episode)

 

Recently while posting some favorite exchanges from Seinfeld shows I went to a scripts web site so I could copy the quotes verbatim. One thing led to another and I found myself reading whole scripts from some of the episodes.

Now, I'm a major fan, have most of the DVD's, continue to watch the re-runs nearly every day, and still get great pleasure from nearly every episode. (Those four were The Beatles of comedy!)

But I couldn't believe how entertaining it was to read the scripts, and how many funny "throw away" lines there were, that I'd never even noticed. Maybe the reads were a little too subtle for me, or I hadn't caught them because a visual gag distracted me.

The last one I read was "The Jacket", a very early episode. I always liked that one, but reading the script had me in stitches! It's just amazing how great the writing is in some of these shows and clearly, that's why I (and many others here, obviously) never tire of watching them.

As an aside, I read in Wikipedia that the story line was taken from a personal experience of Larry David's, and that the writers and cast planned to use Elaine's dad (Alton Benes) as a recurring character but became frightened of him when they determined that he stole a knife from the set. Of course, this story itself was co-opted into a running gag in The Pilot when Tom, the somewhat threatening character who plays Kramer, evidently steals a box of raisins. Amazing how all these little sub-stories tie together.

-----------------------

(From "The Jacket")

GEORGE: (Pointing at Jerry) Oh, he's the comedian.

JERRY: I'm just a regular person.

GEORGE: No, no. He's just being modest.

ALTON: We had a funny guy with us in Korea. A tailgunner. They blew his brains out all over the Pacific. (Long pause) There's nothing funny about that.

(and later, near the end of the episode)

ELAINE: (To Jerry) I didn't want to tell you this, but usually he hates everyone.

JERRY: Really?

ELAINE: Yeah, he liked you though. Said you reminded him of somebody he knew in Korea.

 

"From now on, when you take a chip, just take one dip and end it!"

 

From "The Bottle Deposit"
NEWMAN: I wanna learn. I want to know why.

 

On one scene, Newman cried out to farm owner: "I'm a US postal worker and my mail truck was just ambushed by a band of backwoods mail-hating survivalists."