Lyrics That Made You Laugh

I've been on a bit of a Gilbert O'Sullivan binge lately, a line in the song 'Where would we be without tea' made me laugh, Written as a list of things without things - Like a camel without a hump etc...
I realised how rarely happens.

Like a Birming without a ham.

 

When I first heard Bob Dylan’s 115th Dream.

...when I picked it up and said hello, this door came through the line!”

And the parking ticket on the mast!

 

monster mash. when i was 4.

 

Joe walsh..."Life's been good to me so far"!

 

I'd like to add "MONEY FOR NOTHING" To my Joe walsh.....

 

The Monkees - "I'm Gonna Buy Me A Dog"

 

Cosmic Debris ~ Frank Zappa

favorite verse:

I wrapped a newspaper 'round my head
So I looked like I was deep
I said some mumbo-jumbo, then
I told him he was going to sleep
I robbed his rings and pocketwatch
And everything else I found
I had that sucker hypnotized
He couldn't even make a sound
I proceeded to tell him his future, then
As long as he was hanging around
I said the price of meat has just gone up
And your old lady has just gone down



...Now is that a real poncho or is that a Sears poncho?

 

Prefab Sprout
Moving The River

“I hear you've got a new girlfriend
How's the wife taking it?”

 

"Pasties and a G-String (At the Two O'Clock Club)" - Tom Waits.

 

Don't forget "BOBBY BROWN"......Very funny!!!"DANCIN' FOOL" too!

 

His songs were designed to make you laugh, but this is a favorite and I'm not even Catholic.

 

Rush- "Dog Years" (but I don't think the song was meant to be funny)

A bunch of Dead Milkmen tunes.

 

Run For Your Life-The Beatles...
many years ago I played this for my future wife...she found it amusing and laughed...

 

Ian Dury, Clever Bastards.

 

Craig Carothers - Missing Me



jerol

 

Of all the "Like A Rolling Stone" parodies that came out immediately in it's wake, this is the only one that gets a chuckle out of me. You can really tell that this guy genuinely hates Bob Dylan, and the sheer sincerity of his rancor is so over-the-top that it's like listening to a drunken temper tantrum:

 

She thinks all my jokes are corny
Convict movies make her horny
She likes ketchup on her scrambled eggs
Swears like a sailor when she shaves her legs
She takes a lickin' and keeps on tickin'
I'm never gonna let her go
He's got more balls than a big brass monkey
A whacked-out weirdo and a love bugged junkie
Sly as a fox crazy as a loon
Payday comes and he's a-howlin' at the moon
He's my baby, I don't mean maybe
I'm never gonna let him go

 

Ministry's Warp City
The introduction is by R. Lee Ermey.

[Sample]
"Wine is a mocker, strong drink is raging; and whoever is deceived thereby is not wise."

Out in the state of Arizona, a husband and wife had reared their children. Children had married off, families of their own. The mother took to drinking, she was 64 years of age. She came in one night so drunk she didn’t know what she was doing and started to take a bath in the bathtub with her clothes on

In utter disgust, the husband said, “I outta take a gun and blow your brains out.” She snarled back at him, “you haven’t got the nerve.” Shot her dead in the bathtub, fine way to end married life

[Verse 1]
She started drinkin' wine
And then she couldn't stop
She must be out of her head
That's why she has to be shot

That's Warp City!

[Verse 2]
I'll probably have to do time
Because I lost control
I'd rather drop on a dime
Than spend my life in a hole

That's Warp City!

[Verse 3]
I got a hole in my head
Can't make the bleeding stop
I think I'll go back to bed
And wait around for the cops

 

“We Care A Lot” - Faith No More

We care a lot!
We care a lot!

We care a lot!
About disasters, fires, floods and killer bees
About the NASA shuttle fallin' in the sea
We care a lot!
About starvation and the food that Live Aid bought
We care a lot!
About disease, baby, rock, Hudson, rock!
Yeah!

Woo!
(Whoa, whoa) Oh, it's a dirty job but someone's gotta do it
Oh, it's a dirty job but someone's gotta do it
We care a lot!
We care a lot!

 

The song "Jet Lag" by Nazareth has 3 that still make me chuckle:

We just cut out of El Paso
It just fries there in that desert sun
And if you've ever been down there man
Then you know why we run

Driving down a Detroit freeway
Just lookin at those concrete walls
Hey but it's a good town to rock n roll in
What do you mean the police closed the GD hall?

Flying home tomorrow
To be there's gonna be just great
But after some time with my lady
I'm gonna be back to rock n roll in the states

 

as a warning to her

 

No, that's not me. : ) LOL.

 

Does comedy music count?
Bonzo Dog Doo-Dah Band - Big Shot

I am the Big Shot.
You heard me right the first time, name of bachelor, Johnny Cool.
Occupation: big shot. Occupation at the moment: just having fun.
What a party that was, the drinks were loaded and so were the dolls.
I narrowed my eyes and poured a stiff Manhattan, then I saw... Hotsy.
What a dame, a big bountiful babe, in the region of 48-23-38. One hell of a region.
She had the hottest lips since Hiroshima, I had to stand back for fear of being burned.
"Whisky-wow-wow", I breathed; she was dressed as Biffo the Bear.
In that kind of outfit, she could get rolled at night...
And I don't mean on a crap table.

"It's kind of revealing, isn't it?"
"Revealing? It's positively risqué, I like it."
She said, "You're the man of a thousand G's, right?"
"A thousand what?", I quipped,
"Why, G-man, girls, guns, guts... You're my type"
"Wrong, baby!", I slapped her hard, "I'm an L-man. Strictly liquor, love and laughs"
She stared over my shoulder. "Play it cool, Johnny."
"Play it what?", I flipped. "Listen, I fought my way up from tough East-Side New York. Lead-filled socks and sub-machine guns. Like this!"

She said, "Johnny this is a deadly game, have a few laughs and go home."
I shuddered. Normally I pack a rod; in pyjamas I carry nothing but scars from Normandy Beach.
I said, "Wrong, baby, you can't fool me."
She spat playfully. "I'm ahead of you, Johnny."
I studied the swell of her enormous boobs and said,
"Baby, you're so far ahead it's beautiful!"

"You, you are, you're eccentric, I like that."
"Electric, Cherie, bugged off my rocker, tu comprends?" We spoke French fluently.
Our lips met again and again, "Yeah yeah yeah," I slobbered.
Hotsy said, "You're slobbering all over the seat, kid."
I went home, late. Very late.
What could I say to my wife? "Darling, I've been beaten up again"?
Let's face it, she's credulous as hell.
A punk stopped me on the street. He said, "You got a light, mac?"
I said, "No, but I've got a dark brown overcoat."

 

Glen Campbell's "The Straight Life." A song I love, but some of the lyrics... "Treatin' the ladies to corn on the cob"! This song's protagonist imagines a life of debauchery on a scale that would make Keith Moon look like Mr. Rogers. Only to be snapped out of this fever dream by... crackers and beer.