History Channel's Alone

Discussion in 'Visual Arts' started by Chris from Chicago, Apr 17, 2016.

  1. Chris from Chicago

    Chris from Chicago Experience is simply the name we give our mistakes Thread Starter

    ... we do not own these woods. They own us...

    Larry's shelter sucks so bad the mice are checking it out to mock him. I'd mock him too. I don't like Larry. I hope he gets rabies because he bear sprayed mice. Yep.

    Britt likes extreme close ups. And he ate the fish that ate the mouse. But he should be careful...a moose moved into his neighborhood.

    Dave pulls back an arrow and shoots a big bird. No, not that one. But it got away. He starts to exhibit this... Jack Nicholson from the Shining crazy talk. But a mouse harvest cheers him up.

    Brooke throws a really lame party. Party of one. And that's sort of a bummer. So she hiked up the ridge to see the view. And finds giant mushrooms. From the top she sees everything. Even the oncoming storm.

    Brooke taps out. Loneliness did her in. And maybe a bit of starvation.

    5 people remain.
     
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  2. Borgia

    Borgia Do not speak wisely of this night

    Location:
    Arkansas
    That Larry has problems, as in screws loose. Vancouver Island almost did him in, I think Mongolia will push him over the edge.
     
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  3. Chris from Chicago

    Chris from Chicago Experience is simply the name we give our mistakes Thread Starter

    I don't know why he volunteers for this stuff. He has no tolerance for anything askew. No patience whatsoever. He's just bad at this.
     
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  4. Chris from Chicago

    Chris from Chicago Experience is simply the name we give our mistakes Thread Starter

    Redemption can be found in hell itself if that's where you happen to be...

    Dave shot a bird that previously got away. This time he didn't cry. Then built this spear throwing device thingie. Now he's giddy. And he's sporting a damn fine neckbeard.

    Larry swears he hears a mastodon outside his shelter. I wish he was right. He manages to make a better net than I would be able to draw. He earns a little of my respect. Then he threw a temper tantrum... at the weather.

    Sam... sigh... seems nice. But he's a bit of a doofus. His fish trap catches nothing. Except leeches. That were feeding on his mouse baits blood. Mmmm. He makes what could be the world's worst fish net. And that failed so bad... he ate his leeches.

    Britt tries to fish. But it's getting cold. 39°. He's hungry. All he has is 4 day old fish skin to suck on. I ate a pound of fried shrimp today. I was even a little hungry after. I probably won't tell Britt.

    5 people remain.
     
    Last edited: Jul 28, 2018
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  5. Chris from Chicago

    Chris from Chicago Experience is simply the name we give our mistakes Thread Starter

    Solitude and isolation are painful things... and beyond human endurance.

    Sam catches a mouse... sort of. It may have been his trap. But he also could have talked it to death. Sam is cold. Winter has arrived. So he fortifies his cabin. With a working, swiveling door.

    Larry. Crazy Larry. He harvests his mice crop. It looks like the weather is changing. Which changes his mental aptitude. Even though he lost his mouse. That was dead. I'm not positive... but he seems to like it here. I don't much like Larry. But i'm starting to respect him.

    Dave is hungry. So Dave goes deer hunting. But Dave moves around. A lot. Dave is getting thin. He travels so much... he builds a second shelter... far from his cabin... to rest his wary bones when he's away.

    Randy is toasty warm by the fireplace inside his cabin as a frozen rain falls outside. He rests on his wooden homemade recliner. Randy is living the good life. But then he climbed a mountain. But all he saw from the peak was his loneliness. Anxiety started creeping in. Randy tapped out.

    4 people remain.
     
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  6. Chris from Chicago

    Chris from Chicago Experience is simply the name we give our mistakes Thread Starter

    Looks like I missed last week.

    Doubling up this week. Two episodes.

    The mountains are calling and I must go...

    Britt still lives under a Christmas tree. So... like Santa... he builds a cool sled. And he whittles wood with a sharp knife. On his lap. The father in me screams... you're going to cut yourself.

    Larry the mountain man. Her climbs a mountain. He hears wolves. He... amid all this craziness... is channeling the Dude.

    Dave is getting thin. Too thin. When he smiles... it looks like he has 120 teeth in his mouth. He sings his song. He wants to eat. He wants to live. He'll do neither here. Dave goes home.

    Sam sports a Cosby sweater. Which is good. It'll keep him warm even he's outside trying to crap. But he can't. He's constipated. That... is bad.

    You have to admire someone who suffers extreme temps with minimal shelter and almost no food. I guess. I never felt the need push myself. Not like that.

    3 people remain.
     
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  7. Chris from Chicago

    Chris from Chicago Experience is simply the name we give our mistakes Thread Starter

    By endurance we conquer

    It's day 40.

    Larry reminisces about his family. Always a mistake in this game. With the bark of a birch tree he makes snow goggles for winters arrival. He looks like a superhero. Loneliman. He's getting over emotional. That's bad. He writes a love note to his wife. That is sweet. But it's bad for his chances. He can do without food. And he can do without shelter. And heat. But he needs his family. No shame in that. Go home Larry. He does. I wish him well.

    2 people remain.

    Britt enjoys the coming of winter. The cold arrives. It's on the plant life around him. It's in his frozen drinking water. And it's in his bones. Snow falls. A lot of it. In this freshly fallen snow he sees the tracks the local wildlife leave behind. And how close they've come to his shelter. Again... in his shelter... he whittles dangerously. Stop that, dude. He does. He's sad. He's lonely. He's hungry. He wants to go home. So he does.

    Sam. He throws a party for his celebratory poop. He hasn't eaten in a week. So he makes a snow cone. I hope he listened to Zappa before he came here. He makes a trap capable of taking down a Squatch. He appears to find this inner strength. Or maybe it's stubbornness. He's staying. Until they carry him out.

    Sam wins. Only he doesn't yet know it.

    Med check due today. He's hoping they don't pull him due to health reasons.

    He looks into the camera. He waits for the Dr. to check him out. He cries. A figure in the background approaches. He turns to look. It's his wife. He's won. And now he knows it. It gets emotional. For him. But not for me. I'm not crying. You're crying.

    This place looks like beautiful country. But your eyes lie. It changes. Slowly... at first. But then it changes quickly. And so do you.

    Until next season.
     
    Last edited: Aug 16, 2018
  8. Borgia

    Borgia Do not speak wisely of this night

    Location:
    Arkansas
    Old Sam hung in for the big win. I'm glad for him. Poor Larry & Britt. It's just a mental game of starvation. I wonder were they will be next season?
     
  9. Chris from Chicago

    Chris from Chicago Experience is simply the name we give our mistakes Thread Starter

    I thought any of the three could have won. Each one of them broke down when talking about family. That turned out to be the breaking point.
     
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  10. GodShifter

    GodShifter Forum Member

    Location:
    Dallas, TX, USA
    Great, witty, breakdowns by @Chris from Chicago. Actually, more entertaining than the show; so much so, I rarely feel the need to watch the episode in question.

    You might have a possibile career in blogging this stuff, brah.

    Much love.
     
  11. Chris from Chicago

    Chris from Chicago Experience is simply the name we give our mistakes Thread Starter

    Dude... those are kind words, brother. I think I have a broner. Thank you
     
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  12. GodShifter

    GodShifter Forum Member

    Location:
    Dallas, TX, USA
    Man, you know I love you. Top 5 favorite on here.
     
  13. Tree of Life

    Tree of Life Hysteria

    Location:
    Captiva Island, FL
    I agree with The Shifter of Gods @Chris from Chicago ....Your always a good read and I enjoy your Post Toasties!!!

    By the way, I started watching Castaway, new show...one episode in so far...
     
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  14. Humbuster

    Humbuster Staff Emeritus

    Did not care for Mongolia season much. However, Sam for the win. Hooray.

    Loved the first thing he said was "you got anything to eat?"
     
  15. Borgia

    Borgia Do not speak wisely of this night

    Location:
    Arkansas
    yeah, he was like "baby, we can hug and kiss later, you bring any food?"
     
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  16. Chris from Chicago

    Chris from Chicago Experience is simply the name we give our mistakes Thread Starter

    Season 6 starts. In northern Canada. Up in the arctic. Literally 75 miles south of where it's too cold for trees to grow.

    10 of our favorite masochists play in the extreme snow for a chance to win a half mil.

    Sounds awful. I can't wait.
     
  17. Borgia

    Borgia Do not speak wisely of this night

    Location:
    Arkansas
    One down already! Dude slipped and messed up his knee I guess. From the previews it looks like it gets COLD on the Great Slave Lake.
     
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  18. Vinny123

    Vinny123 Forum Resident

    Location:
    Florida
    I’m a retired history teacher. The History channel should change its name.
     
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  19. johnod

    johnod Forum Resident

    Location:
    Canada

    You're right of course, nonetheless there is still SOME interesting stuff on there, albeit not much history involved.
     
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  20. Chris from Chicago

    Chris from Chicago Experience is simply the name we give our mistakes Thread Starter

    ...Laws change. People die. But the land remains...

    Subzero temps. Vicious predators. Isolation. Shelters are primitive. Traps are set. And weapons are whittled.

    The allure of winning a half mil removes parents away from their children... and husbands from their wives. Every single person that plays, save one, will walk away a loser. It looks like they play for the money. But that's for show. They play for the challenge.

    A hunter snaps his leg. A gatherer knifes her knuckle. A fisherman catches a fish. And a bearded guy combed his beard. That guy killed a muskrat. Mr. Comby Beard discovers his muskrat eating regret.

    One of the Canadian ladies stand out as someone I could root for. She found a barrel. But so what? What good would that be... oh look... a boat.

    The Northern Lights are beautiful. But they won't bring the warmth that those who lose will look for before they tap out.
     
  21. Chris from Chicago

    Chris from Chicago Experience is simply the name we give our mistakes Thread Starter

    This is no time for ease and comfort. It is time to dare and endure...

    For one, it's a four rabbit day. Brain and intestine are filled with vitamins and nutrients. I'm going to take him at his word.

    The fisherman catches a giant trout. He sucks so much caviar from it he needs a nap. But then he chucks. Hard.

    Some goober talks about ripping a bear apart with his hands. He'd look great amongst the scattered bear scat. He finds cans. And he makes a lure. He uses it to catch a fish. But then he loses the fish. And the lure. Putz.

    Big bald guy. Military guy. He scavenged. Finds the bones of a musk ox. What's he going to do with that? Make a fishing rod and lure, that's what. He proceeds to catch a fish that Ron Jeremy would be envious of.

    Another becomes one with his newly formed friend. Squirly. He's the Zen master. His trap doesn't work. Damn shame. But his bow and arrow does. So he eats. And gets sad. I like him. But I'm in no hurry to become his friend.

    The grouse catcher whispers evil-like into the camera. Now she's in the game. She's got a future. What can go wrong? Except eating that grouse. And igniting a grease fire. That burns down the neighborhood.

    It's day 13. And 8 people remain.
     
  22. Chris from Chicago

    Chris from Chicago Experience is simply the name we give our mistakes Thread Starter

    Failure is not always a mistake... the real mistake... is not trying.

    It's 41°. A burned down shelter gets rebuilt. And it's better for it. She hunts. She puts her arrow through another grouse. She's sure... because there are feathers and blood on her arrow. Fire remains under control this time.

    A moose visits a guy while sleeping. He follows the tracks with the hope of a kill. He's an assassin. A bunny assassin. But... without the bunnies. Confirmed...an ass.

    Another enjoys a blueberry mouse muffin. But it wasn't enough. Grabs her bow. That'll do some damage. Nails a squirrel. Carrying it back to camp. She stabs herself in the calf with the same arrow.

    Mr. Moss Cabin has berries. But not much more. So he fishes. And falls in the water. When he dries he speaks of freedom. He isn't starving. And he's not that cold. He's just tired. He presses the button.
     
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  23. Chris from Chicago

    Chris from Chicago Experience is simply the name we give our mistakes Thread Starter

    ...For suffering and endurance there is no remedy... but striving and doing...

    Jordan nails a moose. But it doesn't go down immediately. So he waits. For 3 hours before it fell. Now he has hide. And meat. Gotta be careful cutting the stomach out so you don't... yep... he pierced it. Now he has less meat. He preps it. Smokes it. And he eats. For now.

    Barry gets busy eating berries. Then suffers from night time cramps. He's dehydrated. This show emphasizes the starving. But not usually the dehydration... oh look... he's playing air guitar. Now I hate him a little.

    Brady gets a feel for the lay of the land. Then makes a lame ass washing machine. He's living the lame life. Until he catches a three foot lake trout.

    Nathan wakes up with snow inside his tent. He decides to fortify it. But sees wolverine tracks. Wolverines... are part of the ferret family. So he tracked it. Until a storm arrived. And he nearly got lost. He found his shelter. But it still needs fortifying.

    Nikki hates happy birthday. Decides to write a better version. We're still waiting. She's cold. And hungry. She finds a hare in her snare. So she sleeps well. Until a slow growl outside her tent wakes her. She falls back asleep chanting her mantra... I'll be safe. I'lI be safe. I don't know. She doesn't seem that safe.

    7 people remain.

    This place is worse than horrible. It's a slow frozen death. It isn't made for man to thrive here. And I'm guessing none will.
     
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  24. johnod

    johnod Forum Resident

    Location:
    Canada
    Was there an episode last week, I guess that would have been 4/07?
    My machine didn't record one.
     
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  25. jlocke08

    jlocke08 Forum Resident

    Location:
    Washington
    show skipped a week for July 4th holiday. episode on July 11 was pretty interesting. love this show
     
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