Funniest stage banter

He was very funny but sadly his contributions were later eclipsed by the comedic genius of the funny walk in the We Can't Dance video, which is generally acknowledged by comedy experts as being the peak of the group's comic efforts.

 

I recall seeing Billy Bragg live in the '80s and being struck by how funny his between-song banter was, which I hadn't really expected, based on his records. And speaking of Tom Jones, one of his Vegas concert albums has some pretty funny between-song bits, typically revolving around certain young women in the audience.

 

Audience member (about a cop): Take that man out of here! Oh! Go away! Take that uniform off man! Take that bloody uniform before it's ****in' too late, man!

Zappa: Everybody in this room is wearing a uniform, and don't kid yourself.

(if not the funniest, perhaps the most astute bit of onstage responses I've heard ) - as heard on Burnt Weenie Sandwich

 

Elvis Presley's career monologues during his 1969 comeback live performance in Las Vegas were all pretty humorous and not your typically prepared one liners that most entertainers from that era relied on for their stage banter.

The first thing that I noticed when did my service in the Army in 1958 is how much all the guys seemed to miss their Mom's. They all went around calling each other "Mother" all the time...

 

The John's(They Might Be Giants) like a little banter between songs....here we hear them discussing the song they wrote specifically for the Santa Cruz show!

 

Even funnier when the guy kept screaming, and Frank said, "You'll hurt your throat. Stop it!"

 

And now.... for Paul McCartney from Liverpool ....Opportunity Knocks.

 

I too was surprised no mention of Tom Waits until the third page of this thread.

"She's been married several times and...I don't wanna end up like her. I mean, she's been married so many times she's got rice marks all over her face."

And some stage banter on the Big Time video: "I think the question I get asked the most is, well I dunno know, it happens a lot, enough that I would remark on it - a lot of people come up to me and they say 'Is it possible for a woman to get pregnant without intercourse?' My answer's always the same, I say: 'Listen. We're gonna have to go all the way back to the civil war...".

 

And “that was just like him” on Ed Sullivan

 

NITS. That world class secret from Amsterdam.

Concert is over, it is time to ask the audience for requests. So far business as usual, but eventually someone shouts: "Everything once again!"
The band exchanges some looks and begins playing ... an improvised medley of all the songs they had played during the show.
There is an audience recording of this.
I not only think that is rather funny, an expression of this band's humour and joy of being on stage. I just love them.

 

Here we see "The Avatars Of They Might Be Giants" warming up the crowd with their rendition of "Toddler Highway", after some time-killing 'banter'!

 

I've always loved this clip. Fugazi's Ian Mackaye is berating a couple of macho punks in the crowd for being idiots. His bandmate Guy Picciotto decides to take a more creative approach about 30 seconds in.

 

When I saw Paul Westerberg and His Only Friends at the Great American Music Hall in San Francisco, Paul briskly walked on stage right up to the mic and blurted out, "Wanna fight?"
That cracked me up!
The last time Paul had played in S.F. was at a Amoeba Records where someone heckled him and he ran into the crowd and confronted the heckler. Reports varied as to what ensued- some said they fought, some said Paul kissed the guy.

 

“They all sound the same!”
“It’s all one song”

 

The end of Zappa's "Are You Upset?" on YCDTOSA Vol 4.

I'm f'ed? That's the nicest thing anybody's said to me all day

 

The great John Tams. First time I saw him he walked onstage and apologised for starring in Heartbeat (50's soapy cop show), then did a ten minute comedy routine about going out drinking with Sean Bean and then having to play a corpse the following day. By the time he said they made him up to look dead and he looked better than when he went into make up I was really losing it. Intros often longer then the songs. As a friend once said, "You cry with laughing at the chat, then cry at the beauty of the songs."

Also, from the wonderful Woolly Wolstenholme of Barclay James Harvest. After peering at setlist through glasses, "Here's the b-side of an a-side we had out once.

 

Love this one, as related by David Bowie (with bonus Mick imitation)

Fan: "Get your hair cut!"
Mick Jagger: "What, and look like you?"

 

"I was soo ugly as a child that my father, who was a Chinese acrobat, saw me being born and died in his own arms." - Jack Sheldon (paraphrased)

 

I was at a Pretenders show at Jones Beach (LI, NY) sometime in the 90's. Apparently someone was pointing a laser pointer at the stage. In between songs Chrissie says " Can you do us a favor, if you're sitting next to the guy pointing the laser , please kick his ass!"

 

One need not I think agree with the politics of this to find it funny if you hear it, tuff NY hardcore band Sheer Terror during the 80s Tompkins Square/squatters rights punk scene ranting about "Everyone's talking about squatter's rights....I'll give you squatter's rights! I'll give you a right, I'll give you a left, I'll give you a kick to your [expletive] head! PAY YOUR RENT, like any normal American would!!"

 

Colin Hay. Easily the funniest man in Pop music ever.

 

You are 1000 percent right about that era Elvis. Some big live package I heard from that era recently has more verbal gold than musical. His rant about gatorade must be heard to be appreciated tho, merely typing the words won't help. Funny, self-aware guy that Elvis.

 

Midge Ure answering a question from the audience during his one man show:

"If you wrote a song for (UK boy band) Take That, what would it be?"
Midge: "An instrumental".

 

Mark Morriss, frontman of 90’s British indie stalwarts The Bluetones. His between-song banter is so good he could probably forge a career as a stand up comedian.

Expecting To Fly Anniversary Tour - the debut album played from start to finish. First track: Talking To Clarry.

The bass starts up with a strumming, drone-like riff. After 4 bars, guitarist Adam Devlin steps up and strikes a D chord. Nothing. He checks the volume on his Gibson. Nothing.

Mark Morriss leaps to his defence. He runs over and makes sure the guitar is plugged in properly. It is - but no sound. He goes over to the amp. It’s plugged in there, too. He fiddles with the master volume - nada.

He then goes back to the mic, spreads his arms and shouts triumphantly “Thank you! Goodnight!!”

 

Oh yeah for sure. Some writer compared his stage banter to Lenny Bruce at one time. It's also funny that you mention Elvis's gatorade humor, because I almost listed those jokes instead, Lol.