Anyone have a movie that they cannot stand?

RPM...a bad, bad movie...A Gone In 60 Seconds...imaginary wanna be...

 

Probably one of the worst movies in my colection is "Blaze Starr Goes Nudist" it is really bad.

 

Freddy Got Fingered

 

I didn't like it because I felt the message the movie was giving is that it is better to be naive, and that ignorance is to be celebrated.

 

I guess we are all different! I busted up laughing all through the movie. It's probably the only Chevy Chase movie I like.

 

I've always thought BRAVEHEART might be the worst "good" movie I've ever seen. How does he sneak a horse into a castle with a moat and up a flight of stairs? How does he get the horse to perform a blind jump through a glass window? What's with the pointless music video swirling-helicopter-camera shot? Why don't the British forces realize they're standing in fuel?

To top it off, a friend informed me that Scots were not wearing kilts until a couple hundred years after the events depicted in BRAVEHEART. Apparently the British costumes are just as inaccurate.

I've always thought of BRAVEHEART as ROB ROY with a botched lobotomy.

 

I've heard that opinion before, but it wasn't the message that I got from the movie. I though the point was the conflict between viewing life as a preplanned destiny, randomly existing, or working to achieve goals.

I think many people see this as some sort of American fairly tale, that a man with no education, limited abilities and very little ambition becomes fantastically rich. The character Forest Gump doesn't consider himself succesful. All he desires is human contact, and all the people he comes into contact with seem to die tragically.

So while he may have achived the kind of success that WE all covet, the kind we bust our asses for but still seems to elude us, Gump is oblivious to it all. He just keeps tragically losing his family and friends.

 

I think Forrest Gump promotes the same lesson as McCartney's "The Fool On The Hill"; the simple are to be celebrated, as they are the truly enlightened(I don't think this, just the point that is being made). This is something that goes all the way back to Shakespeare. I like Forrest Gump myself, although it is WAY too long. Love the Lennon sequence!

 

I'm happy to know that i'm not the only one who looks for deviation from reality in movies!

 

Monkey Shines. It's one of those abonimable Sunday-afternoon-on-TV movies ... My wife got pulled into it and adopted an "it's so bad it's good" attitude, then bought a used VHS copy! So I had to be subjected to it again ...

Basically, a monkey named "Ella" (loves music, you know) goes crazy and starts killing people (including Janine Turner, and the guy who played Ira on Mad About You). I think Malcolm in the Middle did an episode parodying it (intentional or not, I don't know ...).

 

Ok, so I'll wake up this thread.

Waterworld - Ummmm... If there is no dry land, where did they get the cigs and whiskey. Where the heck is the refinery so the bad guys could put gas in they're jet skis. Kevin Costner puts as much personality into this role as he has all his others... None

Eddie and the Cruisers - I'm still trying to figure out how a band could go from Dion And The Belmonts to a Bruce Springsteen ripoff before the advent of The Beatles.

The Buddy Holly Story - It wasn't the fact that Gary Busey looked and sounded nothing like Buddy Holly that bugged me. It wasn't that the story was 85% fiction, although it was annoying. It was the fact that they had "Buddy" playing gear that didn't exist yet that got me tweeked. Mid-70's large headstock, 3 bolt Strats and Teles abound along with an early 60's Musiclander and a Blonde Tolex piggyback fender amp. They might as well have given him an SG and a stack of Marshalls.

Titanic - Please make it stop.

 

TITANIC, to some degree, is redeemed by some great FX; WATERWORLD just looks seedy and grimy, and there's nothing redeeming at all. Same with most Simpson/Bruckheimer films, and anything by Michael Bay and most of Tony Scott's output. Commercial hackwork, and nothing more.

And while I'm at it, a shot at Cecil B. Demille, IMO the utter worst of the old time directors. Leaden direction, his films were filled with bad acting and even worse dialogue. Everything he touched--except for his appearance in Billy Wilder's SUNSET BOULEVARD--was static and stilted, bloated and badly presented.

ED

 

Well, so many silent epics were immense and stilted he fit right in; it was after sound came in and he didn't alter his style one whit is what I've found aggravating about him. Not that anything could save THE GREATEST SHOW ON EARTH, and the only redeeming quality of THE TEN COMMANDMENTS is its campy acting and dialogue. When you can make Hawks' LAND OF THE PHARAOHS seem like Shakespeare by comparison, you know something's amiss.

ED

 

I agree! I love Randy...He is killer funny in this!

 

I agree on Forrest Gump...A truly Pretentious Movie! Nice special effects though...

 

A kind of schizophrenic movie. I agree with Ken there are many subtexts within it that aren't just our imagination--they're too obvious to have been accidental. Yet for all its flaws, it has some genuinely fine, moving passages about loyalty, friendship, determination, optimism in the face of despair, and how blind luck(or misfortune) can count for so much. As much as I've tried to dismiss it over the years, I can't. It has enough frustrating and gimmicky passages and SFX, but not enough for me to hate the entire film. I'd say it has its ups and downs; a rollercoaster ride of a movie.

ED

 

I really can't stand Star Wars Episode II - Attack of the Clones. Boooring. It was worse than Episode I, IMO. Where did this Hayden guy come from? N'Sync? The love story between Anakin and Padme? If I were Padme, I would have chosen C-3PO over that "struggling" young jedi. Though 3PO would probably turn Padme down for being too machine-like. Ewan McGregor is desperately trying to work with his lame lines with dignity. Yoda's light-saber fight was so bad it was almost funny. And when that monster happens to split Natalie Portman's suit in half? How inventive...

Is Lucas deliberately destroying the Star Wars legacy with this fungus and by refusing to release the first versions of the original trilogy?

Hopefully Chewbacca saves Episode III.

"Chewie, you are our only hope."

 

The Truth About Cats and Dogs...

Mystic Pizza...

hate em'! Dispise em'!

no thanks, no sir, no mam... gotta catch a train to clarksville...

 

I'm surprised "Days Of Thunder" hasn't been mentioned. Basically "Top Gun" goes to NASCAR... Yeeeeehaaaw!!

 

Threads like this one always crack me up because tastes are so different...

Of some of those horrible films mentioned, I love Bladerunner, T2, Gump, and North by Northwest (!). All I can say is that some of you haven't had to endure some truly bad films like...

Beloved
The Time Machine (2002)
Eye See You (D-Tox)
The Fantastic Four
Battlefield Earth
Kung Pow, Enter the Fist

(btw, I worked on one of the above films )

Ray

 

Nadja. A maddeningly pretentious vampire movie, released is 1994. Filmed in b&w, with a cameo by David Lynch, who produced the movie. Excrutiating. A friend dragged me to see this, it took me years to forgive him. Anybody ever see this?

 

Personally, I'm still curious to know why Steve hated "Sophie's Choice"!

 

It's probably safe to say that North by Northwest on this list is a fluke!

As for lousy movies...

How about Wing Commander? Even Armageddon will seem like a four star classic after that. A total waste.