eBay charmbullying

Discussion in 'Marketplace Discussions' started by Shoes1916, Oct 23, 2021.

  1. Shoes1916

    Shoes1916 Forum Resident Thread Starter

    Location:
    United States
    Have any sellers here encountered this behavior?

    On scarcer items that are a hundred dollars a pop & up, these guys (usually guys) start out with a passive aggressive comment challenging some assertion you made in the listing ("I don't know that it's as rare as you say, but great item!"), and then often try to get you to call or text them because they can't discuss via eBay messages for some reason.

    When you refuse, they do via eBay messages what they were planning to do via call/text, and that's to try & charmbully you into lowering your price.

    "Great item & I'm really interested, but where did you get the idea it's worth $300 from? It's worth $150 at most because blah-blah. But great item, and say - what about those Dodgers? :)"

    When you explain you've gotten much higher offers than their alleged valuation, they'll ask "What will you take? I really want this, but I just noticed [silly alleged defect], so I don't think you'll ever get $300. But great item!"

    When you say it's up to them to make an offer, and not your job to lowball your own item, they'll keep pounding away, asking you to make them a best offer.

    If you're trusting/worn down enough to do this, they'll immediately offer less, because [silly alleged defect] and after all, it's not THAT rare! (That's why they keep messaging you - because it's such an easy item to find cheap!) :)

    And it doesn't matter if you say in the listing that you won't respond to requests for your best price, or won't respond to any offer unless formally made; these guys just keep hammering away.

    They're often dealers looking to pay as low as possible so they can re-list - on eBay! - for more than you're asking.

    Is it just me, or is this a thing?
     
  2. johnt23

    johnt23 Forum Resident

    Location:
    Oregon
    Name names!
     
  3. SJP

    SJP Forum Resident

    Location:
    Anaheim
    Simple, block the buyer.
     
    parman, Trebor, Simon A and 6 others like this.
  4. Shoes1916

    Shoes1916 Forum Resident Thread Starter

    Location:
    United States
    :cop:

    Not allowed!
     
  5. Shoes1916

    Shoes1916 Forum Resident Thread Starter

    Location:
    United States
    That's certainly an approach, but I was really asking if others experienced this.
     
  6. Chee

    Chee Forum Resident

    Location:
    Denver
    Sweet talkers....you see/hear them at record shows then the big pile "cut me a deal....come on man, look at this pile....etc." All dealers at the show or eBay-Discogs. The long talks with a smile.
     
    Shoes1916 likes this.
  7. R. Totale

    R. Totale The Voice of Reason

    And turn off "or Best Offer" and just price your merch.
     
    Lost In The Flood likes this.
  8. Shoes1916

    Shoes1916 Forum Resident Thread Starter

    Location:
    United States
    My items, far from merch, are like unto grails touched by the very gods! :angel:

    But serially, when dealing with stuff that really is crazy rare - acetates of unreleased tracks by major composers & so forth - it puts the seller in a place of having to feel the market out.
     
  9. AL01

    AL01 Eh?

    Location:
    Texas
    Not happened to me, but I have received many lowballs when I used to exclusively sell game consoles, etc.
     
    johnny q, musicfan37 and Shoes1916 like this.
  10. ggergm

    ggergm Flibbertijibbet

    Location:
    Minnesota
    I saw them in retail. Delightful schmoozers but when it got down to buying something, it was always, "What is my price?" They would haggle until they got a deal, while all the time continuing to be warm and chatty.

    The best comeback was, "I would on a different piece but I can't on this one."
     
    Last edited: Oct 31, 2021
    fretter, Vinyl is final and Shoes1916 like this.
  11. kwadguy

    kwadguy Senior Member

    Location:
    Cambridge, MA
    I have had one or two of these entree emails.

    I reply with my "best offer" (if it's an item listed with best offer, and I have a minimum price in mind) or else I ignore them. But the charm stuff doesn't work.
     
  12. 12" 45rpm

    12" 45rpm Forum Resident

    Location:
    New York City
    Take it as a hint that your item is overpriced. If it's priced to sell you rarely will encounter such types because the item will be gone before they can see it.
     
    mackat and Wally Swift like this.
  13. SJP

    SJP Forum Resident

    Location:
    Anaheim
    Who is to say if something is overpriced?

    Yes, I had one of these charmers pick on an eBay listing. It was priced aggressively, accurately reflecting recent Discogs and eBay sales but certainly on the lower end. Still, it was a $50+ CD. Charmer messages me trying to get me to knock the price way down and then derided me when I didn't oblige. Following a strategic block, I let it ride. It probably took about a year to sell but eventually I got the price. Every time I thought about lowering the price a bit, I remembered Charmer and said to heck with it. I eventually got the last laugh.
     
    mackat, poe_man and Shoes1916 like this.
  14. Wally Swift

    Wally Swift Yo-Yoing where I will...

    Location:
    Brooklyn New York
    I always get a kick out of folks that want you to end an auction early and accept their offer. I've never once been sorry for not agreeing. I like to message them back afterwards with "see....this is why I don't end auctions early":laugh:
     
    Simon A, Shoes1916, clhboa and 3 others like this.
  15. Shoes1916

    Shoes1916 Forum Resident Thread Starter

    Location:
    United States
    I like it! :)
     
  16. Shoes1916

    Shoes1916 Forum Resident Thread Starter

    Location:
    United States
    I'm not sure that's true.

    With genuinely rare (two dozen or fewer on the planet & sometimes literally unique) items, you just have to feel the market out.

    Maybe a part of that is encountering these nuts.

    The particular VERY persistent nut that inspired my OP actually came back pretending to be his wife, lowballing again.

    Because the item's NOT. THAT. RARE! :winkgrin:
     
  17. Shoes1916

    Shoes1916 Forum Resident Thread Starter

    Location:
    United States
    Sometimes I'll raise the asking price after being bombarded by a guy like this... :cool:
     
    phantomime and SJP like this.
  18. Shoes1916

    Shoes1916 Forum Resident Thread Starter

    Location:
    United States
    Sometimes I get offers like that, and if the person is nice and offering MORE than I feel something is worth (because it's for their mom or kid or something), I'll say "Hey - you'll get it CHEAPER than the price you're offering me if you just place an opening bid & cross your fingers; my item is AWESOME of course, but I have a feeling you'll do better if you just trust the auction gods!"

    It usually works out fine - I get to de-clutter & realize my minimum asking price, and make somebody happy to boot! :)
     
    Wally Swift likes this.
  19. Prince John

    Prince John Active Member

    Location:
    USA
    The buyer. If something is overpriced, it won’t be bought. Simple as that.

    Can’t blindly compare one sold listing on Discogs or Ebay to another. Too many variables such as condition variance, location, whether it was sold at a auction vs buy it now, or whether it was a random outlier. The problem in the market isn’t the charmer buyers. It’s the sellers thinking they’re sitting on gold. I’ve seen sellers with “make an offer” enabled who won’t even go down $5 when the item is $30+. When items have to sit a year to sell and not even for that much money, who really has the last laugh? The buyer probably moved on and got a better deal much sooner than a year. It was them who got the last laugh.
     
    Lost In The Flood likes this.
  20. Dillydipper

    Dillydipper Sultan Of Snark

    Location:
    Central PA
    Everything is a thing, if it works. "Charmbullying"...is that a real term? Clever.
     
    Shoes1916 likes this.
  21. SJP

    SJP Forum Resident

    Location:
    Anaheim
    Not "the buyer", nor "a buyer" but "the market".

    Previous sales are simply a guide but often a very good one. I price competitively based on those previous sales. And if mine is in better condition, I'll price it accordingly. But I'm having trouble understanding why the sellers are the problem. I'll use myself as an example. I maintain at any given time 80-100 items on eBay. I not averse to lowering prices at times but there are some items that I won't. If it sits a year, or even two...not even remotely an issue for me because it is safely tucked away in a closet waiting for that buyer who is willing to pay the price I'm asking. And eventually one will. If a buyer looks at my item and finds it for less elsewhere. Good on him. It doesn't mean I won't get my price later...and I usually do.

    I sold 19 items in October and usually move 10-20 per month. October included a $40 CD and a $50 CD, both of which have been listed for at least 6-12 months. And I'm not even talking about common items. I'd think it is the rarities that bring out the charmers.
     
    Shoes1916 likes this.
  22. Prince John

    Prince John Active Member

    Location:
    USA
    The buyers are the market, as much as the sellers do everything under the sun to manipulate the buyers.



    Provided these are actually “rare”. If I had a dollar for every listing I’ve seen labeled rare when it wasn’t I’d be rich (for example, common VG to VG+ copies of Thriller are listed as rare, really?) Again, sellers overestimate the value of their items and insist on its value and let it sit for years. If it takes a listing years to sell at a seller’s desired price, then they priced it higher than its value and it sold as an outlier. The true value lies in all the sold listings of equal condition for lower price in the meantime.
     
    Last edited: Nov 6, 2021
  23. SJP

    SJP Forum Resident

    Location:
    Anaheim
    Whatever. I guess I'm getting lessons in pricing from an internet stranger.

    I'll stand behind my record, thank you.
     
    Shoes1916 likes this.
  24. Shoes1916

    Shoes1916 Forum Resident Thread Starter

    Location:
    United States
    In the instance of EXTREMELY rare/unique items, the seller may often be sitting on something far rarer & more valuable than gold, but which requires a buyer who both understands this scarcity, and seeks the item for its aesthetic value as well.

    Recently I've been receiving messages from a slew of collectors in deep regret over not having purchased an item I put up a few months ago for what they now correctly perceive as an astonishing bargain price.

    But at the time of the original listing, I was being harassed, trolled & charmbullied to an extent I'd never experienced previously. (And I've seen a LOT of bad behavior in my time. ) :help:

    So the last laugh in that instance, if it's being laughed, is being drowned out by a chorus of regret.

    So yeah, if a seller wants $50 for a beat up copy of Hall & Oates greatest hits, they're an idiot.

    But if it's a creator's diary chronicling the composition of various hits by the duo, that's a HNT.
     
    SJP likes this.
  25. GruveRecords

    GruveRecords Active Member

    Location:
    South Florida
    I second this. People like this are tire kickers. Delete message, block and move on. Not worth even having as a potential customer. You don’t need to explain your prices to anyone. In my experience when someone like this ends up buying your item they will find something wrong with when they receive it and try to scam a partial refund out of you.

    Besides, if what you have is desirable enough to sell for $300 then there are 100s of other potential buyers out there for this item.

    Believe me, block this guy and go about your day, forgetting that he ever existed.
     
    parman, JMR, SJP and 2 others like this.

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