This one from John Lennon, while with The Beatles, never gets old I read the news today, oh boy Four thousand holes in Blackburn, Lancashire, And though the holes were rather small, they had to count them all. Now they know how many holes it takes to fill the Albert Hall
Okay it's just the name of an instrumental but it always makes me chuckle: Belle and Sebastian - Judy is a D*ckslap
I always thought Bob Dylan's lyrics on Idiot Wind were pretty savage though: I can't feel you anymore I can't even touch the books you've read Every time I crawl past your door I been wishin' I was somebody else instead Down the highway, down the tracks Down the road to ecstasy I followed you beneath the stars Hounded by your memory And all your ragin' glory I been double-crossed now For the very last time and now I'm finally free I kissed goodbye the howling beast On the borderline which separated you from me You'll never know the hurt I suffered Nor the pain I rise above And I'll never know the same about you Your holiness or your kind of love And it makes me feel so sorry
lots and lots of Bob songs are full of them: Positevely 4th Street You've got a lotta nerve to say you are my friend When I was down you just stood there grinnin' You've got a lotta nerve to say you got a helping hand to lend You just want to be on the side that's winnin' You say I let you down, ya know its not like that If you're so hurt, why then don't you show it? You say you've lost your faith, but that's not where its at You have no faith to lose, and ya know it I know the reason, that you talked behind my back I used to be among the crowd you're in with Do you take me for such a fool, to think I'd make contact With the one who tries to hide what he don't know to begin with? You see me on the street, you always act surprised You say "how are you?", "good luck", but ya don't mean it When you know as well as me, you'd rather see me paralyzed Why don't you just come out once and scream it No, I do not feel that good when I see the heartbreaks you embrace If I was a master thief perhaps I'd rob them And tho I know you're dissatisfied with your position and your place Don't you understand, its not my problem? I wish that for just one time you could stand inside my shoes And just for that one moment I could be you Yes, I wish that for just one time you could stand inside my shoes You'd know what a drag it is to see you
The Mission (UK)'s track Mercenary is pretty much the definitive way to insult someone. Assuming you're happy to hear bad language.
Big man, pig man Haha, charade you are Wooh! You well-heeled big wheel Haha, charade you are And when your hand is on your heart You're nearly a good laugh, almost a joker With your head down in the pig bin Saying, “Keep on digging” Pig stain on your fat chin What do you hope to find Down in the pig mine? You're nearly a laugh You're nearly a laugh, but you're really a cry Bus stop rat bag Haha, charade you are You f****d up old hag Haha, charade you are You radiate cold shafts of broken glass You're nearly a good laugh Almost worth a quick grin You like the feel of steel You're hot stuff with a hatpin And good fun with a handgun You're nearly a laugh You're nearly a laugh, but you're really a cry Hey you, Whitehouse Haha, charade you are You house-proud town mouse Haha, charade you are You're trying to keep our feelings off the street You're nearly a real treat All tight lips and cold feet And do you feel abused? …! …! …! …! …! …! …! You Gotta stem the evil tide And keep it all on the inside Mary, you're nearly a treat Mary, you're nearly a treat, but you're really a cry
Indeed...i especially enjoy Roger Waters recent visual presentations...i caught the DC show several years ago and it was awesome.
These bloodless brides of Jesus If they had just once glimpsed their groom Then they'd know, and they'd drop the stones Concealed behind their rosaries They wilt the grass they walk upon They leech the light out of a room They'd like to drive us down the drain At the Magdalene laundries.
Supposedly not meant to be a direct insult but got Pavement kicked off Lollapalooza: Out on tour with The Smashing Pumpkins Nature kids I, they don't have no function I don't understand what they mean And I could really give a f*k
And plus you're cheap, you're petty, your music is trash You need to go to the bank and get some cash Because talkin' don't pay, you're driftin' away When I see you on the stage, I'm-a blow you away You're right There is no diff' between me and you Except I look good and you look through Take that
The entire Elvis Costello song "How to Be Dumb" is one long insult aimed at Attractions bass player Bruce Thomas: I was hell-bent on destroying my powers of concentration While you were living like a saint And all the time the very one you trusted was Washing off somebody else's paint Now you've got yourself a brand new occupation Every fleeting thought is a pearl And beautiful people stampede to the doorway of the Funniest ****er in the world They're here to help you Satisfy your desires There's a bright future For all you professional liars Now you know how to be dumb? Are you ready to take your place In the modern museum of mistakes? Don't you know how to be dumb? Like a building thrown up overnight In one of those reverse earthquakes They emptied out all of the asylums They emptied out all the jails The 'New Bruise' was the name of a dance craze By Jesus Cross and the Cruel Nails Followed up by 'Torturing Little Beaver' With their contraption of 'Barb wire' Between the fear and the fever lies All the rejection they require They'll be howling by midnight They'll be drooling by dawn Skulls shrunk down to the size of their brains Heads shaven and shorn Don't you know how to be dumb? Are you ready to take your place In the modern museum of mistakes? Don't you know how to be dumb? Like a building thrown up overnight In one of those reversed earthquakes Trapped in the House of the Perpetual Succour where Bitterness always ends so pitifully You always had to dress up your envy in some Half remembered philosophy Now you're masquerading as pale powdered genius whose Every bad intention has been purged You could've walked out any time you wanted but Face it you didn't have the courage I guess that makes you a full time hypocrite Or some kind of twisted dilettante Funny though people don't usually get so ugly till they Think they know what they want Scratch your own head stupid Count up to three Roll over on your back Repeat after me Don't you know how to be dumb? Are you ready to take your place In the modern museum of mistakes? Don't you know how to be dumb? Like a building thrown up overnight In one of those reverse earthquakes
We could probably post 100 Elvis Costello songs here! "Tramp the Dirt Down", a not-too-affection letter to then-PM Thatcher: I saw a newspaper picture from the political campaign A woman was kissing a child, who was obviously in pain She spills with compassion, as that young child's face in her hands she grips Can you imagine all that greed and avarice coming down on that child's lips Well I hope I don't die too soon I pray the Lord my soul to save Oh I'll be a good boy, I'm trying so hard to behave Because there's one thing I know, I'd like to live long enough to savour That's when they finally put you in the ground I'll stand on your grave and tramp the dirt down When England was the whore of the world, Margaret was her madam And the future looked as bright and as clear as the black tar macadam Well I hope that she sleeps well at night, isn't haunted by every tiny detail 'Cos when she held that lovely face in her hands all she thought of was betrayal And now the cynical ones say that it all ends the same in the long run Try telling that to the desperate father who just squeezed the life from his only son And how it's only voices in your head and dreams you never dreamt Try telling him the subtle difference between justice and contempt Try telling me she isn't angry with this pitiful discontent When they flaunt it in your face as you line up for punishment And then expect you to say "Thank you" straighten up, look proud and pleased Because you've only got the symptoms, you haven't got the whole disease Just like a schoolboy, whose head's like a tin-can Filled up with dreams then poured down the drain Try telling that to the boys on both sides, being blown to bits or beaten and maimed Who takes all the glory and none of the shame Well I hope you live long now, I pray the Lord your soul to keep I think I'll be going before we fold our arms and start to weep I never thought for a moment that human life could be so cheap 'Cos when they finally put you in the ground They'll stand there laughing and tramp the dirt down
If we want the Obligatory Beatles Post, "How Do You Sleep" seems like the candidate, doesn't it? Unless it's no one's "favorite". So Sgt. Pepper took you by surprise You better see right through that mother's eyes Those freaks was right when they said you was dead The one mistake you made was in your head How do you sleep? How do you sleep at night? You live with straights who tell you, you was king Jump when your momma tell you anything The only thing you done was yesterday And since you've gone you're just another day How do you sleep? How do you sleep at night? How do you sleep? How do you sleep at night? A pretty face may last a year or two But pretty soon they'll see what you can do The sound you make is muzak to my ears You must have learned something in all those years
duran duran - is there something i should know 'don't say you're easy on me, you're about as easy as a nuclear war' later -1
Charlie Daniels wonderful, funny un-PC song about a long haired hippie trying to avoid a bar fight in Jackson, Mississippi on a Saturday night, circa 1973. Charlie really got rolling in the middle of the story. He was still bent over holdin' on to his knee But everyone else was lookin' and listenin' to me And I layed it on thicker and heavier as I went I said would you believe this man has gone as far As tearin' Wallace stickers off the bumpers of cars And he voted for George McGovern for president Well he's a friend of them long-haired hippie type pinko f*gs I betcha he's even got a Commie flag Tacked up on the wall inside of his garage He's a snake in the grass I tell ya guys He may look dumb but that's just a disguise He's a mastermind in the ways of espionage
