Hillarious optimistic-/joke-grading examples

Discussion in 'Marketplace Discussions' started by Eno_Fan, Dec 18, 2018.

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  1. Eno_Fan

    Eno_Fan Staring into the abyss: Brockman BIF, Pilbara WA Thread Starter

    Location:
    Izieu, France
    Thought it might be fun to have a thread on the worst offenders (of so-dumb-it's-funny nature).

    I'll kick-off with these two:

    Today on Discogs (Neil Young - Harvest: LP, Album, Ter For Sale | Discogs ), and as it will soon be gone the priceless text for this VG+-graded $40 record is "...Vinyl looks NEARLY unplayed save for one long scuff on side one. NEAR MINT otherwise".

    And my previous favourite vinyl example from Ebay, source now long-gone: "...Sealed but Open"

    Comical...

    Your turn...
     
  2. EdogawaRampo

    EdogawaRampo Senior Member

    Discogs has a forum full of 'em:
    Discogs Forum - Post ridiculously graded items here

    Here are some I found interesting...

    "Media Condition: Near Mint (NM or M-)
    Sleeve Condition: Near Mint (NM or M-)
    TOP AND BUTTOM SEAM HALF SPLITTED BUT OTHERWISE COVER IS MINT"

    "Media Condition: Near Mint (NM or M-)
    Sleeve Condition: Near Mint (NM or M-)
    b-side has a 6mm scratch on it - may not be playable - hence price"

    "Media Condition: Near Mint (NM or M-)
    the record is broken but affect just a little bit when you play it!!"

    "Media: Near Mint (NM or M-)
    Sleeve: Very Good Plus (VG+)
    LP01 SIDE B KNIFE SCRATCH ON SONGS 2,3,4 ( CANT PLAY THESE SONGS) + KNIFE SCRATCH ON COVER . OTHERWISE NEAR MINT."

    "Media Condition: Mint (M)
    Almost unplayed."

    "Sleeve Condition: Near Mint (NM or M-)
    absolutely amazing shape all around. very little wear to cover at all, only flaw is that the top is neatly split along the entire length. No nasty wear beyond that."

    "Media Condition: Near Mint (NM or M-)
    Sleeve Condition: Mint (M)
    NM cause pen marked on the label: there is written '**** you' (maybe i was drunk when i wrote it, but the record is absolutely M) "
     
  3. Mugrug12

    Mugrug12 The Jungle Is a Skyscraper

    Location:
    Massachusetts
    I've always wanted a thread like this thanks op!

    One of my favorites is when a seller says "played 3-4 times" etc. like how can you tell something like that?
     
  4. EdogawaRampo

    EdogawaRampo Senior Member

    I use my Koetsu Infrared Groove Degradation Protracting Measurement Scope. It was expensive, and they were only available 1981 ~ 1983, but it allows me to judge to within 1-2 plays how well used a particular record is by measuring actual groove width with a standard mean and calculating the difference -- which indicates the number of plays. I don't like to reveal that information when I sell a record though. It doesn't really help to write "played 912 ~ 914 times." Still good info, though.
     
  5. Mugrug12

    Mugrug12 The Jungle Is a Skyscraper

    Location:
    Massachusetts
    That 3-play margin of error is a deal breaker for me. Get your act together Koetsu!! :tsk:
     
  6. Mugrug12

    Mugrug12 The Jungle Is a Skyscraper

    Location:
    Massachusetts
    So maybe slightly off topic, but this is by far the most hilarious and outrageous thing I've seen in a record description on eBay. This was a very rare Hank Mobley LP. I still laugh whenever I think about it. Sure it's not reasonable or legal, but it's eBay so have at it!

    "The album comes from a record collector who lived in Brooklyn, NY and moved to Amityville, NY.

    I am confident that the VG+ rating stands so much so that I have made a tape recording of the album.
    If you want to have a listen to this album I will sell a tape recording that I have made of it. There is no negotiating on the price of the tape. First come first served. I have made five tape copies and I do not plan on making anymore at this time. I will set up an independent Ebay sale in the amount of $25.00 for the tape recording. Postage is not included in the cost of the tape and it is suggested that overnight delivery be used. Payment will be made immediately through paypal.
    There will be no refunds since this is a special accommodation that I am willing to make. "

    LMFAO :laugh:
    (This guy must be fun at parties)
     
    Last edited: Dec 18, 2018
  7. TheSixthBeatle

    TheSixthBeatle Quae nocent, saepe docent

    I have one, and I love it. The only drag is baking the LP in a 200 degree oven for 20 minutes, so the infrared profile can be measured. So tedious. :angel:
     
  8. EdogawaRampo

    EdogawaRampo Senior Member

    All part of the hobby. If you're after that last molecule of highest fidelity, it's a price worth paying. The downside is when you begin to be able to gauge by sound the number of plays a record has from someone who calls it 'pristine' when you know it's been played 12~13 times. Pristine? Think again.
     
  9. EdogawaRampo

    EdogawaRampo Senior Member

    I'd love to see that descrip changed to "G-" .... "I am confident that the G- rating stands so much I have made a tape recording of the album." Not beyond the realm of possibility IMO.
     
    Mugrug12 likes this.
  10. Eno_Fan

    Eno_Fan Staring into the abyss: Brockman BIF, Pilbara WA Thread Starter

    Location:
    Izieu, France
    Yah, stupid isn't it? This VG+ record would be "NEAR MINT" but for the damage that makes it "otherwise", and "...looks NEARLY unplayed" save for that damage ("...one long scuff on side one"). What exactly is 'nearly unplayed'?!

    I also can't say how tired I am of seeing "almost near-mint" in Discogs listings. Quite apart from the poxy English on display here (although anyone who buys an 'almost near-mint' ' Definitely Maybe' deserves all that they get, those vulgarians Oasis doubtless approving in their usual two-fingered manner), this is just a way to get the word 'mint' in the description of a record that is two-grades lower.

    Let's have Your examples folks...

    N.B. That "played 3-4 times" is (mis)use of 'unplayed' as a grading rather than a factual state (like sealed), see my other Thread on 'Unplayed as a Grading'...
     
  11. Mugrug12

    Mugrug12 The Jungle Is a Skyscraper

    Location:
    Massachusetts
    Theres one thing I've seen sometimes in the classifieds here that I've never seen anywhere else. It's sellers calling damage "inevitable". Like a sort of upgrade/replacement for "the usual"

    i.e.
    This copy has the inevitable ring wear of items from 1972.

    The inevitable vg crackle at the intro of side A and in the accapela bridge.

    Sure maybe it's rare to find one without, but let's ditch the car salesman vibe. The people should know the truth and not give up their dreams- damage is "evitable"!
     
    Raynie likes this.
  12. EdogawaRampo

    EdogawaRampo Senior Member

    Just saw this on eBay UK:

    "Shipping:
    Posted in pizza box style packaging"
     
    Last edited: Dec 21, 2018
    JasonA likes this.
  13. EdogawaRampo

    EdogawaRampo Senior Member


    Speaking of getting "mint" in the description...it's worse to have "Mint" in the link (thinking of eBay here) and find the actual record for sale is VG+. Sometimes I'm only looking for mint or near mint. Can't stand that kind of thing.
     
  14. Raynie

    Raynie Hyperactive!

    Location:
    Snortland, Oregano
  15. Mugrug12

    Mugrug12 The Jungle Is a Skyscraper

    Location:
    Massachusetts
    What's optimistic or weird about this one here?
     
  16. Raynie

    Raynie Hyperactive!

    Location:
    Snortland, Oregano
    There's no description, just disclaimers, then a circular reference stating to check the description for information. Then he states to look at the pictures, it's discogs and there are none. :laugh:
     
    eddiel and Mugrug12 like this.
  17. EdogawaRampo

    EdogawaRampo Senior Member

    Would you buy from a seller that writes this?

    "CLASSIC VINYL LP ALBUM..

    FOR ITS AGE-

    SLEEVE IS VG

    VINYL IS GOOD.

    REALISTIC PRICES, SO PLEASE BE REALISTIC IN YOUR EXPECTATIONS- ESPECIALLY ON SOMETHING THATS UP TO HALF A CENTURY OLD AND LIKELY TO OF HAD MULTIPLE OWNERS."

    For my part, not a chance.

    "Be realistic"
    , IMO anyway, is code for "expect a clicking, popping, swishing, whooshing and generally thrashed record as is inevitable for something that's up to half a century old."

    Of course, grading is a big part of the problem. "Good", in record grading, actually means "bad" or "just barely plays." Knowing that, I wonder what should one expect of it being "good" ... "for its age" ? Still in one piece and not broken or cracked?
     
  18. Dave

    Dave Esoteric Audio Research Specialistâ„¢

    Location:
    B.C.
    :help: I think I'm gettin' a Vinyl grading headache.
     
  19. Dillydipper

    Dillydipper Space-Age luddite

    Location:
    Central PA
    Clearly there are not enough suckers being born. We need more minutes-!
     
  20. InStepWithTheStars

    InStepWithTheStars It's a miracle, let it alter you

    Location:
    North Carolina
    Frank Zappa's MOFO 4CD set:

    "Discs 1, 2, and 4 in pristine condition. Disc 3 BROKEN. Case and inserts with minimal wear."

    It was listed at $75. I say "was" because it's no longer up for sale. It would appear some fool bought it. No clue why, as his official merch store at HiFi 247 has sealed copies for $40. On Amazon and Discogs, they go for $90. Guess that's one way to avoid getting a job...?
     
  21. Mugrug12

    Mugrug12 The Jungle Is a Skyscraper

    Location:
    Massachusetts
    There's an record on the fs forum which contains "m+" and "nm--". Also EX and vg++. All describing different parts of the same piece lol.
     
  22. EdogawaRampo

    EdogawaRampo Senior Member

    Sorry to reply to my own post, but I couldn't help but notice "pizza box style" packaging. What's the "style"? It's like a pizza box but not? Or is it just a used pizza box? I'm guessing the latter...got one once, replete with grease stains. Just unbelievable.
     
  23. Gumboo

    Gumboo Forum Resident

    Location:
    Metry, Louisiana
    Yeah, it's ridiculous!
     
  24. InStepWithTheStars

    InStepWithTheStars It's a miracle, let it alter you

    Location:
    North Carolina
    Just found a great one. It's a rare 1996 promo CD which comes in a standard jewel case with no front insert. Instead, there's a custom sticker on the front of the case. This seller wants $60 for this:

    "Never played, pristine copy. No sticker on front - even more rare!"

    Yep - swapping the custom front part of the jewel case with a generic one you can literally get for free sure does increase the value by a whole bunch! Meanwhile, one with the proper front cover is available for $25. Fools and their money...
     
  25. InStepWithTheStars

    InStepWithTheStars It's a miracle, let it alter you

    Location:
    North Carolina
    Of the three that were for sale, only this one is no longer available. Erm... I'm going to hope that the seller decided to pull it... I don't want to think about the other alternative...
     
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