I just made my first short film - Badge

Discussion in 'Visual Arts' started by paulisme, Sep 14, 2018.

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  1. paulisme

    paulisme I’m being sarcastic Thread Starter

    Location:
    Charleston SC
    Hi guys, I've recently starting writing scripts and dabbling in filmmaking, and recently completed my first short film. I'd love to get some feedback on it if anyone's interested and has 11 minutes to kill.

     
  2. Michael

    Michael I LOVE WIDE S-T-E-R-E-O!

    Cool thanks for posting...liked it.
     
    paulisme likes this.
  3. paulisme

    paulisme I’m being sarcastic Thread Starter

    Location:
    Charleston SC
    Thanks for watching!
     
  4. carrick doone

    carrick doone Whhhuuuutttt????

    Location:
    Vancouver, Canada
    Very nice. It has a light feel. Good luck with it!
     
    paulisme likes this.
  5. adlerjf

    adlerjf Forum Resident

    Location:
    Bayside, New York
    Very well done!
     
    paulisme likes this.
  6. johnod

    johnod Forum Resident

    Location:
    Canada
    I liked it.
     
    paulisme likes this.
  7. paulisme

    paulisme I’m being sarcastic Thread Starter

    Location:
    Charleston SC
    I appreciate the views!
     
  8. RogerB

    RogerB Forum Resident

    Location:
    Alabama
    Just watched it and enjoyed it! Good job!
    I’ve already got a crush on the blonde hair girl. Ha ha.
     
    EVOLVIST likes this.
  9. Was it "light," though? Art is interpretive, so in general, the shorter the film, the more the viewer has to fill in the blanks that are usually wider on the cuff with a longer narrative. This is one of the shortcomings of a short film, but it's also one of it's strengths, as it forces the viewer to become more interactive.

    In Badge no relationships actually happen. Everything occurs only in the minds of John and Sarah. We've all done that before, right? You see somebody that you're attracted to, you lay in bed at night and imagine what life would be like with that person. It's a common human fantasy. Maybe you end up approaching that person, and perhaps you don't. It's mostly harmless; moreover, what many attribute to "stalking" is simple human curiosity.

    It's sort of funny, but mostly sad, that "stalking" or "a stalker" has become this en vogue catchphrase during the last 10-15 years to describe innocuous, and often brief, innocent obsessions. When I was a kid, I don't recall ever hearing the word "stalker," but if I did, I would not have conjured up images Sarah peeping John on Facebook (well, there wasn't Facebook when I was a kid). No, I would imagine the ultra creepy person who actually stands outside of someone's bedroom window, trying to catch a bit of skin, hiding in the shadows, with something nefarious in mind.

    The real twist is, if Laura hadn't brushed John off, or Sarah had succeeded in hailing John down, they might have saved John from be the serious creep he was on his way to becoming, as evident by the duct tape, the rope, the black gloves, and some sort of cutting instrument(?) that John pulled from his kitchen drawer.
     
  10. MRamble

    MRamble Forum Resident

    Very nice! Hope you do more.
     
  11. Strat-Mangler

    Strat-Mangler Personal Survival Daily Record-Breaker

    Location:
    Toronto
    Finally got around to watching this.

    The premise is good but it drags on with too few scenes or shots of stuff going on which doesn't affect the plot nor do they establish a mood. For instance, the whole sequence of making dinner. It's about 90 seconds of material that isn't necessary. Same with the beginning. Lots of time is given to long reactions.

    Also, a lot of the shots with speaking parts start a second before the person speaks creating unnecessary gaps between responses which isn't very natural and you can see people getting ready to speak as well. Better flowing conversations (pace-wise) would definitely be another solid upgrade in its presentation.

    Basically, better editing will make a world of a difference.

    Having said all that, the idea was charming. Like others said, I hope you continue to do more.
     
    alexpop likes this.
  12. paulisme

    paulisme I’m being sarcastic Thread Starter

    Location:
    Charleston SC
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