Lyrics That Made You Laugh

Discussion in 'Music Corner' started by uncarvedbloke, Mar 15, 2019.

  1. uncarvedbloke

    uncarvedbloke Forum Resident Thread Starter

    Location:
    UK - Stoke
    I've been on a bit of a Gilbert O'Sullivan binge lately, a line in the song 'Where would we be without tea' made me laugh, Written as a list of things without things - Like a camel without a hump etc...
    I realised how rarely happens.

    Like a Birming without a ham.

     
  2. Chemguy

    Chemguy Forum Resident

    When I first heard Bob Dylan’s 115th Dream.

    ...when I picked it up and said hello, this door came through the line!”

    And the parking ticket on the mast!
     
  3. rkt88

    rkt88 The unknown soldier

    Location:
    malibu ca
    monster mash. when i was 4.
     
  4. Sebastian saglimbenI

    Sebastian saglimbenI Forum Resident

    Location:
    New york
    Joe walsh..."Life's been good to me so far"!
     
  5. Sebastian saglimbenI

    Sebastian saglimbenI Forum Resident

    Location:
    New york
    I'd like to add "MONEY FOR NOTHING" To my Joe walsh.....
     
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  6. Jerry

    Jerry Grateful Gort Staff

    Location:
    New England
    Silly Love Songs. Just silly.
     
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  7. bvb1123

    bvb1123 Rock and Roll Martian

    Location:
    Cincinnati Ohio
    The Monkees - "I'm Gonna Buy Me A Dog"
     
    DavidD likes this.
  8. Veggie Boy

    Veggie Boy still trudgin'

    Location:
    Central Canada
    Cosmic Debris ~ Frank Zappa

    favorite verse:

    I wrapped a newspaper 'round my head
    So I looked like I was deep
    I said some mumbo-jumbo, then
    I told him he was going to sleep
    I robbed his rings and pocketwatch
    And everything else I found
    I had that sucker hypnotized
    He couldn't even make a sound
    I proceeded to tell him his future, then
    As long as he was hanging around
    I said the price of meat has just gone up
    And your old lady has just gone down




    ...Now is that a real poncho or is that a Sears poncho?
     
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  9. Loup

    Loup Ancient Wool Unraveller

    Location:
    Motown
    Prefab Sprout
    Moving The River

    I hear you've got a new girlfriend
    How's the wife taking it?”
     
  10. dance_hall_keeper

    dance_hall_keeper Forum Resident

    "Pasties and a G-String (At the Two O'Clock Club)" - Tom Waits.
     
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  11. Sebastian saglimbenI

    Sebastian saglimbenI Forum Resident

    Location:
    New york
    Don't forget "BOBBY BROWN"......Very funny!!!"DANCIN' FOOL" too!
     
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  12. Jazzmonkie

    Jazzmonkie Forum Resident

    Location:
    Tempe, AZ
    His songs were designed to make you laugh, but this is a favorite and I'm not even Catholic.
     
    Incamera, Jarleboy, Greg Gee and 2 others like this.
  13. DPK

    DPK Forum Resident

    Location:
    Lexington, SC
    Rush- "Dog Years" (but I don't think the song was meant to be funny)

    A bunch of Dead Milkmen tunes.
     
    Sebastian saglimbenI and Meyer like this.
  14. Michael

    Michael I LOVE WIDE S-T-E-R-E-O!

    Run For Your Life-The Beatles...
    many years ago I played this for my future wife...she found it amusing and laughed...
     
  15. Maltman

    Maltman Somewhat grumpy, but harmless old man.

    Location:
    Vancouver Canada
    Ian Dury, Clever Bastards.
     
    Fullbug likes this.
  16. JerolW

    JerolW Forum Resident

    Craig Carothers - Missing Me



    jerol
     
  17. idleracer

    idleracer Forum Resident

    Location:
    California
    :evil: Of all the "Like A Rolling Stone" parodies that came out immediately in it's wake, this is the only one that gets a chuckle out of me. You can really tell that this guy genuinely hates Bob Dylan, and the sheer sincerity of his rancor is so over-the-top that it's like listening to a drunken temper tantrum:

     
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  18. willmatic

    willmatic Forum Resident

    Location:
    Charlotte,NC


    She thinks all my jokes are corny
    Convict movies make her horny
    She likes ketchup on her scrambled eggs
    Swears like a sailor when she shaves her legs
    She takes a lickin' and keeps on tickin'
    I'm never gonna let her go
    He's got more balls than a big brass monkey
    A whacked-out weirdo and a love bugged junkie
    Sly as a fox crazy as a loon
    Payday comes and he's a-howlin' at the moon
    He's my baby, I don't mean maybe
    I'm never gonna let him go
     
    Incamera, Jarleboy, rs4951 and 2 others like this.
  19. sons of nothing

    sons of nothing Forum Resident

    Location:
    Illinois
    Ministry's Warp City
    The introduction is by R. Lee Ermey.

    [Sample]
    "Wine is a mocker, strong drink is raging; and whoever is deceived thereby is not wise."

    Out in the state of Arizona, a husband and wife had reared their children. Children had married off, families of their own. The mother took to drinking, she was 64 years of age. She came in one night so drunk she didn’t know what she was doing and started to take a bath in the bathtub with her clothes on

    In utter disgust, the husband said, “I outta take a gun and blow your brains out.” She snarled back at him, “you haven’t got the nerve.” Shot her dead in the bathtub, fine way to end married life

    [Verse 1]
    She started drinkin' wine
    And then she couldn't stop
    She must be out of her head
    That's why she has to be shot

    That's Warp City!

    [Verse 2]
    I'll probably have to do time
    Because I lost control
    I'd rather drop on a dime
    Than spend my life in a hole

    That's Warp City!

    [Verse 3]
    I got a hole in my head
    Can't make the bleeding stop
    I think I'll go back to bed
    And wait around for the cops


    [​IMG]
     
  20. Hoover Factory

    Hoover Factory Old Dude Who Knows Things

    Location:
    Spokane, WA
    “We Care A Lot” - Faith No More

    We care a lot!
    We care a lot!

    We care a lot!
    About disasters, fires, floods and killer bees
    About the NASA shuttle fallin' in the sea
    We care a lot!
    About starvation and the food that Live Aid bought
    We care a lot!
    About disease, baby, rock, Hudson, rock!
    Yeah!

    Woo!
    (Whoa, whoa) Oh, it's a dirty job but someone's gotta do it
    Oh, it's a dirty job but someone's gotta do it
    We care a lot!
    We care a lot!
     
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  21. Taxee

    Taxee Forum Resident

    Location:
    Kansas City
    The song "Jet Lag" by Nazareth has 3 that still make me chuckle:

    We just cut out of El Paso
    It just fries there in that desert sun
    And if you've ever been down there man
    Then you know why we run

    Driving down a Detroit freeway
    Just lookin at those concrete walls
    Hey but it's a good town to rock n roll in
    What do you mean the police closed the GD hall?

    Flying home tomorrow
    To be there's gonna be just great
    But after some time with my lady
    I'm gonna be back to rock n roll in the states
     
  22. as a warning to her
     
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  23. Michael

    Michael I LOVE WIDE S-T-E-R-E-O!

    No, that's not me. : ) LOL.
     
    mark winstanley likes this.
  24. ganma

    ganma Forum Resident

    Location:
    Earth
    Does comedy music count?
    Bonzo Dog Doo-Dah Band - Big Shot

    I am the Big Shot.
    You heard me right the first time, name of bachelor, Johnny Cool.
    Occupation: big shot. Occupation at the moment: just having fun.
    What a party that was, the drinks were loaded and so were the dolls.
    I narrowed my eyes and poured a stiff Manhattan, then I saw... Hotsy.
    What a dame, a big bountiful babe, in the region of 48-23-38. One hell of a region.
    She had the hottest lips since Hiroshima, I had to stand back for fear of being burned.
    "Whisky-wow-wow", I breathed; she was dressed as Biffo the Bear.
    In that kind of outfit, she could get rolled at night...
    And I don't mean on a crap table.

    "It's kind of revealing, isn't it?"
    "Revealing? It's positively risqué, I like it."
    She said, "You're the man of a thousand G's, right?"
    "A thousand what?", I quipped,
    "Why, G-man, girls, guns, guts... You're my type"
    "Wrong, baby!", I slapped her hard, "I'm an L-man. Strictly liquor, love and laughs"
    She stared over my shoulder. "Play it cool, Johnny."
    "Play it what?", I flipped. "Listen, I fought my way up from tough East-Side New York. Lead-filled socks and sub-machine guns. Like this!"

    She said, "Johnny this is a deadly game, have a few laughs and go home."
    I shuddered. Normally I pack a rod; in pyjamas I carry nothing but scars from Normandy Beach.
    I said, "Wrong, baby, you can't fool me."
    She spat playfully. "I'm ahead of you, Johnny."
    I studied the swell of her enormous boobs and said,
    "Baby, you're so far ahead it's beautiful!"

    "You, you are, you're eccentric, I like that."
    "Electric, Cherie, bugged off my rocker, tu comprends?" We spoke French fluently.
    Our lips met again and again, "Yeah yeah yeah," I slobbered.
    Hotsy said, "You're slobbering all over the seat, kid."
    I went home, late. Very late.
    What could I say to my wife? "Darling, I've been beaten up again"?
    Let's face it, she's credulous as hell.
    A punk stopped me on the street. He said, "You got a light, mac?"
    I said, "No, but I've got a dark brown overcoat."
     
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  25. Peace N. Love

    Peace N. Love Forum Resident

    Glen Campbell's "The Straight Life." A song I love, but some of the lyrics... "Treatin' the ladies to corn on the cob"! This song's protagonist imagines a life of debauchery on a scale that would make Keith Moon look like Mr. Rogers. Only to be snapped out of this fever dream by... crackers and beer.
     
    DavidD likes this.

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