Lyrics That Made You Laugh

Discussion in 'Music Corner' started by uncarvedbloke, Mar 15, 2019.

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  1. Bungo

    Bungo Forum Resident

    Location:
    Madison, WI
    Lou was in fine form on that album. I always liked these lyrics too:

    Why stop at one, I might have ten, a regular TV brood
    I'd breed a little liberal army in the wood
    Just like these redneck lunatics I see at the local bar
    with their tribe of mutant inbred piglets with cloven hooves
    I'd teach 'em how to plant a bomb, start a fire, play guitar
    and if they catch a hunter, shoot him in the nuts
     
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  2. Purple Jim

    Purple Jim Senior Member

    Location:
    Bretagne


    You say there ain't no use in livin'
    It's all a waste of time
    'N you wanna throw your life away, well
    People that's just fine
    Go ahead on 'n get it over with then
    Find you a bridge 'n take a jump
    Just make sure you do it right the first time
    'Cause nothin's worse than a Suicide
    Chump
    You say there ain't no light a-shinin'
    Through the bushes up ahead
    'N we're all gonna be so sorry
    When we find out you are dead
    Go head on and get it over with then
    Find you a bridge 'n take a jump
    Just make sure you do it right the first
    time
    'Cause nothin's worse than a Suicide
    Chump
    Now maybe you're scared of jumpin'
    'N poison makes you sick
    'N you want a little attention
    'N you need it pretty quick
    Don't wanna mess your face up
    Or we won't know if it's you
    Aw there's just so much to worry about
    Now what you gonna do?
    Go head on 'n get it over with then
    Go head on 'n get it over with then
    Go head on 'n get it over with then
    Go head on 'n get it over with then
    You're on the bridge;
    Scared to leap,
    But a girl walks over
    To take a peep...
    She says: "DON'T DO IT!"
    But wouldn't you know...
    The girl got a head
    Like a buffalo
    With a little red hair
    All over the top
    An' her breath would make the
    Traffic stop
    She says "I LOVE YOU...
    BUT FIRST, LET'S EAT!"
    And all you can say as you run down the
    street
    is...


    "But wouldn't you know...the girl got a head Like a buffalo" :D
     
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  3. thos

    thos Forum Resident

    Huh? I thought it was "his foot came through the line"
     
  4. vudicus

    vudicus Forum Resident

    Location:
    UK
    "I always get Chocolate stains on my pants".
    Thin Lizzy - Dancing In The Moonlight.
     
  5. Mickey2

    Mickey2 Forum Resident

    Location:
    Bronx, NY, USA
    Some examples:
    • The Kinks - Give The People What They Want:
    When Oswald shot Kennedy, he was insane
    But still we watch the re-runs again and again
    We all sit glued while the killer takes aim
    "Hey Mom, there goes a piece of the president's brain!"​
    • Bob Dylan - Highway 61:
    Oh, God said to Abraham, "Kill me a son"
    Abe said, "Man, you must be puttin' me on"
    God said, "No" Abe say, "What?"
    God say, "You can do what you want, Abe, but
    The next time you see me comin', you better run"
    Well, Abe said, "Where d'you want this killin' done?"
    God said, "Out on Highway 61"​
    • The Ramones - We're A Happy Family:
    We're a happy family, we're a happy family
    We're a happy family, me, mom and daddy
    We're a happy family, we're a happy family
    We're a happy family, me, mom and daddy
    Siting here in Queens
    Eating refried beans
    We're in all the magazines
    Gulpin' down Thorazines
    We ain't got no friends
    Our troubles never end
    No Christmas cards to send
    Daddy likes men​
     
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  6. Solitaire1

    Solitaire1 Carpenters Fan

    "After The Ball" by Charlene

    "You beg every girl to take it all off,"
    "one day a part of you is gonna fall off."

    "Sports Song" by "Weird Al" Yankovic

    It sounds like a typical sports song...until the lyrics start...

     
  7. Wildest cat from montana

    Wildest cat from montana Humble Reader

    Location:
    ontario canada
    " Love doesn't come in a minute
    Sometimes it doesn't come at all
    I only know when I'm in it
    Love isn' t silly , love isn't silly , love isn't silly at all! "

    Pure Macca.
     
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  8. Reever

    Reever Forum Resident

    The Basement Tapes is comedy gold. Much of it anyway....."Clothes Line Saga" the funniest among them.

    The next day everybody got up
    Seein’ if the clothes were dry
    The dogs were barking, a neighbor passed
    Mama, of course, she said, “Hi!”
    “Have you heard the news?” he said, with a grin
    “The Vice-President’s gone mad!”
    “Where?” “Downtown.” “When?” “Last night”
    “Hmm, say, that’s too bad!”
    “Well, there’s nothin’ we can do about it,” said the neighbor
    “It’s just somethin’ we’re gonna have to forget”
    “Yes, I guess so,” said Ma
    Then she asked me if the clothes was still wet
     
  9. Chemguy

    Chemguy Forum Resident

    Location:
    Western Canada
    Typo! What the heck!
     
  10. smith6552

    smith6552 trust the process, not the internet

    Location:
    Chicago-land
    Odorono by The Who
     
  11. Wildest cat from montana

    Wildest cat from montana Humble Reader

    Location:
    ontario canada
    " Her deodorant failed the test. She should have used Odorono !"

    " My dad beat me cause mine said ' Mother ' but my mother naturally liked it and beat my brother cause his tattoo was of a lady in the nude and my mother thought that was extremely rude !"
     
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  12. Sebastian saglimbenI

    Sebastian saglimbenI Forum Resident

    Location:
    New york
    Don't forget the mckenzie brother's.......which had geddy lee sing one song....."BEER & DONUTS"?!!!
     
  13. Jerry

    Jerry Grateful Gort Staff

    Location:
    New England
    Pure Crappa.
     
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  14. BPMC

    BPMC Forum Resident

    Location:
    Riverside, CA USA
    I love Bobby Brown, but it certainly isn't for the easily-offended!
     
  15. Sebastian saglimbenI

    Sebastian saglimbenI Forum Resident

    Location:
    New york
    In all fairness Frank's song pre-dates "the" Bobby brown......the more infamous real bobby brown is more offensive then the song.
     
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  16. mojo filter

    mojo filter Forum Resident

    Not always on purpose. "Out here in the fields I fight for my meals" is hilarious. Combine how bombastic and self-important it is with "meals" being simply the wrong word. A meal is something that's been prepared for you, with plates and silverware and nice cloth napkins and everybody say grace before you tuck in. It's not something you fight for, unless you're kids squabbling for the last drumstick. Pete might just as well have written "Out here in a pack I fight for my snack."
     
  17. Two Sheds

    Two Sheds Sha La La La Lee

    First couplet of 'I Can't Get Up Anymore,' by Squeeze. It's an outtake from their 1982 LP, Sweets From A Stranger.

    "I can't get up anymore, my heart ticks so slow
    There's nothing to do, and I'm picking my nose"

     
  18. John54

    John54 Senior Member

    Location:
    Burlington, ON
    "Be sincere, convince me with a 'pretty please'"

    The Beau Brummels, Laugh Laugh

    "And when I'm lying in my bed,
    I think about life and I think about death,
    And neither one particularly appeals to me"

    The Smiths, Nowhere Fast

    "Now I know how Joan of Arc felt,
    As the flames rose to her Roman nose
    And her Walkman started to melt"

    The Smiths, Bigmouth Strikes Again
     
  19. Keith todaro

    Keith todaro Forum Resident

    Location:
    Shreveport
    Red Neck Friend - Jackson Browne
     
  20. ShockControl

    ShockControl Bon Vivant and Raconteur!

    Location:
    Lotus Land
    Exclusive Butterfly. Inadvertently hilarious.
     
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  21. Hey Vinyl Man

    Hey Vinyl Man Another bloody Yank down under...

    "Cheeseburger in Paradise"...okay, that one is supposed to be funny, but not for the reason it makes me laugh. In the second verse, there's the line "Reminds me of the menu at a Holiday Inn" to describe the most boring and bland food imaginable...but I went to grad school in France and my university had a Holiday Inn on campus. Because it was France, the food there was terrific (certainly a hell of a lot better than the dining hall food). Oops.
     
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  22. MielR

    MielR THIS SPACE FOR RENT

    Location:
    Georgia, USA
    "Another One Rides The Bus" always makes me laugh:
     
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  23. DavidD

    DavidD Forum Resident

    Excellent selection!! That entire song is funny!

    I especially like, "I live in hotels, tear out the walls, I have accountants, pay for it all" and one I drop ever time the ripe opportunity presents itself, "I can't complain but sometimes I still do".
     
    Sebastian saglimbenI likes this.
  24. DavidD

    DavidD Forum Resident

    Lou Reed, Last Great American Whale

    Well Americans don't care for much of anything
    land and water the least
    And animal life is low on the totem pole
    with human life not worth much more than infected yeast

    Americans don't care too much for beauty
    They'll **** in a river, dump battery acid in a stream
    They'll watch dead rats wash up on the beach
    and complain if they can't swim

    NAILS IT!!!!

     
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  25. thos

    thos Forum Resident

    Alternate verse I heard him do live:
    "I have a limo, ride in the trunk
    I lock the doors incase I get drunk"
     
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