Lyrics That Made You Laugh

The only hit single to make me literally LOL:

Short People got no reason
Short People got no reason
Short People got no reason to live

They got little hands
Little eyes
They walk around
Tellin' great big lies
They got little noses
And tiny little teeth
They wear platform shoes
On their nasty little feet

Well, I don't want no Short People
Don't want no Short People
Don't want no Short People 'round here
...

Short People got nobody
Short People got nobody
Short People got nobody to love

They got little baby legs
That stand so low
You got to pick 'em up
Just to say hello
They got little cars
That go beep, beep, beep
They got little voices
Goin' peep, peep, peep
They got grubby little fingers
And dirty little minds
They're gonna get you every time

Well, I don't want no Short People
Don't want no Short People
Don't want no Short People 'round here

 

Frank Zappa's hippie-esque rant at the end of "Who Needs the Peace Corps?"

'I will love everyone
I will love the police as they kick the **** out of me on the street!'

 

Quite a few songs by the Angry Samoans, the lyrics of which I cannot reproduce here.

 

Only heard this recently
Ain’t gonna go to hell for anybody..........
Bob Dylan
This amuses the hell out of me

 

Agreed. “I sweat for my meals” makes a lot more sense. May not have sat so comfortably with Roger, though, and the rest of the band were scared of him.

 

Great one!

Here's another one- a song about how people kept calling Rick Springfield "Bruce" (as in Springsteen):

You know my mama called me long distance yesterday
And as she got off the phone I swear I heard her say
"Bye bye Bruce!"

 

Tom Waits -- Come On Up To The House

All your crying don't do no good
Come on up to the house
Come down off the cross, we can use the wood
You gotta come on up to the house

 

Sure, songs like Big Lizard are pretty funny. But lots of their songs are deadly serious. I mean, do you know what the queers are doing to the soil?! That sh!t's
no laughing matter.

 

"If your body's plagued by aches and pains that you can't understand,
Compound fractures, ingrown toenails, floating kidneys, trembling hands,
There's a secret to your troubles, You're in love with your old man,
As the id goes marching on"

"Freud's hidden world of meaning need not leave us mystified,
It's really very simple what the psyche tries to hide,
A thing is a phallic symbol if it's longer than it's wide,
As the id goes marching on"

Melanie (Safka), Psychotherapy (the last two verses)

 

"If The Shoe Fits" - Leon Russell, from the album "Carney" Released in 1972, it would appear that Leon had a fairly low opinion of the folks at Rolling Stone.

 

Think it's more about groupies trying to pass themselves off as RS writers.

 

Is that your take or did you read it somewhere? It does make more sense, but the "girlfriend and me" line kind of threw me. I guess that could be two female groupies. Whatever, pretty humorous song!

 

May have read it somewhere, but that's how it's always sounded to me. In any case yep, a pretty funny one.

 

When I first listened to The Rolling Stones' "Star****er" with the infamous line "Your trick with fruits was kinda cute, I bet you keep your p**** clean". Now, when I listen to it, I just glance hat disapproval look

 

This one by Dio makes me laugh every time:


"The Last In Line"

We're the ship without a storm
The cold without the warm
Light inside the darkness
That it needs, yeah

We're a laugh without tear
The hope without the fear
We are coming, home

We're off to the witch
We may never, never, never, come home
But the magic that we'll feel
Is worth the lifetime

We're all born upon the cross
We're the throw before the toss
You can release yourself
But the only way is down

We don't come alone
We are fire, we are stone
We're the hand that writes
Then quickly moves away

We'll know for the first time
If we're evil or divine
We're the last in line, yeah
We're the last in line

Two eyes from the east
It's the angel or the beast
And the answer lies
Between the good and bad

We search for the truth
We could die upon the tooth
But the thrill of just the chase
Is worth the pain

We'll know for the first time
If we're evil or divine
We're the last in line, yeah
We're the last in line, oh

Yeah, we're off to the witch
We may never, never, never come home
But the magic that we'll feel
Is worth a lifetime

We're all born upon the cross
You know we're the throw before the toss
You can release yourself
But the only way to go is down

We'll know for the first time
If we're evil or divine
We're the last in line, oh
We're the last in line
See how we shine

We're the last in
We're the last in
We're the last in
We're the last in
We're the last in
We're the first in line, oh

We're a ship without a storm
We're the cold inside the warm
We're the laugh without tear
We're the smile without the mirror

We're the last in line
We're the last in line
We're the last in line
See how we shine
We're the last in line

 

It has got to be this old Randy Newman song.

Old Kentucky Home

Turpentine and dandelion wine
I've turned the corner and I'm doin' fine
Shootin' at the birds on the telephone line
Pickin' em off with this gun of mine
I got a fire in my belly
And a fire in my head
Goin' higher and higher
Until I'm dead

Sister Sue, she's short and stout
She didn't grow up - she grew out
Mama says she's plain but she's just bein' kind
Papa thinks she's pretty but he's almost blind
Don't let her out much 'cept at night
But I don't care 'cause I'm all right

Oh, the sun shines bright on
My Old Kentucky Home
And the young folks roll on the floor
Oh, the sun shines bright on
My Old Kentucky Home
Keep them hard times away from my door

Brother Gene, he's big and mean
And he don't have much to say
He had a little woman who he whupped each day
But now she's gone away
He got drunk last night
Kicked mama down the stairs
But I'm all right so I don't care

 

So many John Prine songs, right before they make me wanna cry!

 

John Denver singing Randy Sparks´ "TOLEDO". Love it.

 

Surely it’s “this foot came through the line” ?

 

Jailbait, by Motorhead: “I don’t care about our different ages, I’m just a book with well-thumbed pages”.

 

stupid as it may...it cracks me up! heard this many years ago on the web...

 

"I can't complain, but sometimes I still do."

 

Julia Cope's excellent track Paranormal in the West Country from Autogeddon includes the following section:

Driving on the fast side of slow
It's so annoying for the other guy
Speeding up to 45 then slowing down
Braking for no reason at all
When the sign reads "30," drive at 25
Sunday driving 7 days a week, oh no
Driving on the fast side of slow

Always makes me smile.

 

Don’t ask me how I typed door instead of foot. Actually, the d is next to the f, right? I must have typed doot and it got corrected to door!

That’s my story.

Anyway, I also like the line, “when a bowling ball came down the road and knocked me off my doors!”