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Most Ridiculous Review Quotes

Discussion in 'Audio Hardware' started by Fruff76, Feb 11, 2019.

  1. ayrehead

    ayrehead It was like that when I found it...

    Location:
    Mid South
    Here's one from Stereophile's Robert Schryer on the Grandinote Shinai integrated amp:

    It was as if a world was materializing around me, like I was gaining consciousness in the middle of a field on a hot day. Soon, every pore of the soundstage seemed filled with animated sound.
     
  2. Monty12

    Monty12 Forum Resident

    Location:
    Burlington Ontario
    The last time that I gained consciousness in the middle of a field, my wallet was empty and i had no idea what field it was.....oh, to be 18 once again
     
    timind, BroJB, slovell and 6 others like this.
  3. parman

    parman Vintage Rocker

    Location:
    in the mitten
    sounds like he was dosed at a party
     
    timind, uzn007, Fruff76 and 3 others like this.
  4. Uglyversal

    Uglyversal Forum Resident

    Location:
    Sydney
    It might suit others, I am not looking forward that kind of experience.
     
    Fruff76 likes this.
  5. uzn007

    uzn007 Pack Rat

    Location:
    Raleigh, N.C.
    Especially since the soundstage now has "pores".
     
    timind and Monty12 like this.
  6. Cyclone Ranger

    Cyclone Ranger New old stock

    Location:
    Best Coast USA
    Obvious acid flashback.
    .
     
    uzn007, Combination, timind and 5 others like this.
  7. slovell

    slovell Retired Mudshark

    Location:
    Chesnee, SC, USA
    :biglaugh:
     
    Uglyversal, Fruff76, timind and 4 others like this.
  8. Claude Benshaul

    Claude Benshaul Forum Resident

    I'm not convinced this is the kind of experience I'm looking for when listening to music.
     
    uzn007, timind, Monty12 and 1 other person like this.
  9. timind

    timind phorum rezident

    Location:
    Westfield, IN USA
    How long has it been since I let my Stereophile subscription lapse? Never heard of Robert Schyer.

    While I've had the experience he describes, it seems like a lifetime ago. Aah, the memories.
     
  10. Roland Stone

    Roland Stone Offending Member

    Location:
    Deep Maryland
    Pendantic point: "Perfect Sound Forever" was ad copy (for Technics, IIRC), not a review.
     
  11. CTA

    CTA Well-Known Member

    Location:
    Switzerland
    I have nothing against drugs per se
     
    uzn007 likes this.
  12. concorde01

    concorde01 Member

    Location:
    New Zealand
    I haven't checked if this is already posted but . . . this cable:

    "Fono Acustica Virtuoso: $20,384/1.5m pair
    the Fono Acustica made for "more graceful, almost cautious, romantic, but somehow still precise and well-detailed attacks, and long, long sustains.""

    From Stereophile "Recommended Components 2020".
     
    Strat-Mangler likes this.
  13. Claude Benshaul

    Claude Benshaul Forum Resident

    Damn it! I just measured the distance and the closest I can get is 1.52 meter and now I will be forever locked out from experiencing cautious romantic and well detailed attacks with long sustains.
     
  14. Daedalus

    Daedalus I haven't heard it all.....

    I think the reviewer must have been channeling Marcel Proust.
     
  15. Donniej

    Donniej Senior Member

    Amateur! The writer didn't even mention the makes/models of the equipment they were using at the recording session.
     
    Aftermath likes this.
  16. Ntotrar

    Ntotrar Nope

    Location:
    Tri-Cities, Tn.
    I'll never forget Car and Driver describing a Porsche 911 variant and an "ass engined Nazi slot car". Likewise audio hobby print is no better.
     
    uzn007 likes this.
  17. Strat-Mangler

    Strat-Mangler Personal Survival Daily Record-Breaker

    Location:
    Toronto
    I don't know why audio reviewers think their stuff should read like a bad novel. Don't need flowery imagery or rich vocabulary. Not looking to read an F. Scott Fitzgerald-inspired piece when I just want the straight dope on a piece of gear.
     
    Fruff76 likes this.
  18. Ntotrar

    Ntotrar Nope

    Location:
    Tri-Cities, Tn.
    I think they get payed by the word...
     
    Monty12 likes this.
  19. Archimago

    Archimago Forum Resident

    Yup, ad claim "Pure, Perfect Sound - Forever". Philips for the CD.
    Archimago's Musings: MUSINGS: "Pure, Perfect Sound - Forever"

    Dunno about the others, but the French version "Le son laser" seems rather boring in comparison...
     
  20. Glmoneydawg

    Glmoneydawg Forum Resident

    Location:
    Ontario Canada
    Wow...even Johnny Walker has never taken me to this place.
     
  21. lwh1

    lwh1 Forum Resident

    Location:
    Kent, England
    'Hi-Fi Choice' continues to be a front runner in the absurdity stakes. Here's a choice nugget from the current issue about a Power Cable.
    "...immediately removes a layer of glare and 'glint' from the sound: tonally it's darkly translucent instead of shiny white, allowing the listener to hear more into the music and appreciate the spaces between the notes."
    I really must learn more about appreciating the spaces between the notes, specially if they are darkly translucent - what utter crap.
     
  22. uzn007

    uzn007 Pack Rat

    Location:
    Raleigh, N.C.
    Pass me my wallet, please.
     
    Fruff76, lwh1 and Cyclone Ranger like this.
  23. Al Gator

    Al Gator You can call me Al

    I am amazed how every new (and presumably more expensive) cable of every type removes yet another layer of glare/noise/opacity/whatever. And it's always a huge difference! My system must be nothing but white noise.
     
    keiron99, Dale A B, Fruff76 and 5 others like this.
  24. Fruff76

    Fruff76 L100 Classic - Fan Club President Thread Starter

    Location:
    Pittsburgh
    Absolute nonsense
     

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