Things I've learned on Audiophile forums...

We audiophiles are a funny bunch! The endless pursuit of perfect sound; the hunt, the kill! Anything flashy and techy and glossy! Or perhaps you're the crotchety type who turns their nose at anything manufactured after 1980; vintage rules! Don't need any of these new fangled gidgets and gadgets. Wood grain and aluminum all the way baby! Now, wheres my copy of Aqualung...
I personally have learned much on this forum, so many knowledgeable people assembled in one place. And some not so knowledgeable that do their best to sound like it. And the inbetweeners: "Never heard these before, but my uncles cousins mother in law had a set, and she swore by them"; you know, just to have a say.
One of the most important things I've found is to learn the lingo. You simply can't survive on the threads without a basic understanding of what people are saying, and why. Here is a sampling...

1. YMMV - a very important term to use when offering an opinion. "Harbeth is the best!" YMMV...it takes the appearance of know it all blowhard and tempers it down, kinda like lowering the eyes after shouting out over the crowd. I know Harbeth is the best....but it may not be....Took me weeks to figure out what it even meant, after Googling it! Your mayonnaise might vomit? You might make vehicles?

2. "Pulled the trigger" - whether its amps, speakers, cables, or wooden risers made from the rainforests of Brazil (and only collected by Pygmies; very important) we always pull the trigger on it. Or we almost pulled the trigger. Or we should have pulled the trigger. We don't often buy anything, we pull triggers.

3. Listening session - perhaps its my warped sense of humour, but whenever I see this term I giggle. I picture a baren room except the Eames lounger, side table for a drink, and immense stereo system perfectly measured out in front of us. A sign hangs on the door knob: "DO NOT DISTURB" Passers by tiptoe in fear of making a floorboard squeek or an ice cube in their glass clank. A lone person sits and stares intently at the sounstage in front of them. Emotionless at first. Perhaps a tear rolls down his cheek in rapture. Perhaps rage rolls into his face like a coming storm, as they realize the imaging is off. The record is ticking. The cd spinning in the tray can be heard. The bass is wrong. The treble is bright. The....

4. "I could happily live with this forever" - no you can't. None of us can. The best we can hope for is happily live with it until the next forever piece comes along. Usually sooner than later. You need to pull the trigger (see #2). Happily live with forever is code for "I've told my wife/partner that this is my forever piece, and I'm convincing myself." We all know better. We get it. Its ok, we won't hold you to it.

5. This piece from Brand X is what you need - its almost pointless asking for suggestions or opinions on gear, usually what you end up with is an inventory of every posters' personal systems. This is the best, cuz I own it! It is faultless, and i could happily live with it forever (see #4). Never have I seen a reponse " well don't buy this piece, I own it and its horrid. Stay away from it" And it seemingly doesnt even matter after a while what the thread was even about, especially as the thread gets longer and people dont want to read. Need a small speaker to fit in my bookshelf the thread states, By page 9 or 10, people are suggesting the Wilson Slam Bam Thank you Ma'ams cuz theyve had a pair for years and they could happily live with it forever!

I'm sure I've missed some, feel free to add to the list! This is, obviously, just a little humor on a Friday night. No offense is meant to anyone; I'm as guilty of all of it as anyone. I just find us a funny sort of people...YMMV.

 

6. "It's a night and day difference" - This usually means a barely discernible difference but it was expensive as hell, so the cost needs to be justified.

 

7. "You need to upgrade your power cables." This response comes within the first page of responses, no matter what the question is.

 

You forgot the classic “true” blind test “My wife Terri came running from the other room saying OMG What have you changed? ..music sounds amazing!”

 

The one phrase that sends me through the roof..... “What is the best ( audio equipment/ fill in the blank)? There is no such thing people. Another phrase that is a close second..... “ Tell me what to buy?” How would anyone know about your personal tastes or how much you can afford?

 

Yes! I missed the What is best!

 

"The difference was not subtle"

"Let it go man!"

The second usually uttered by someone playing the forum equivalent of knocking the door and running away...

 

“Picked up” instead of “bought”

Example:

“I just picked up a pair of [insert $25,000 speakers]”

Gives a nonchalant vibe to spending lots of cash on audio gear. “Honey, I’ll pick up some bread and milk on the way home, oh, and a couple of 400 watt tube monoblocks. See you in a bit. Love you.”

 

DSCF0747-1 by William Hart, on Flickr
A few amendatory comments: no drinks except bottled water permitted; a table with a highly reflective surface is undesirable. The "in session" sign needs to be lighted and ideally, the entry door to the room automatically locked -- i can't tell you how many times I have been scared out of my wits when my wife walks up to me while I am in the midst and spooks the daylights out of me. No one "walks around" while doing listening-- it's just not "done."

 

I've learned that other people:

• always hear what they hear when they discuss speakers and headphones;
• sometimes hear what they hear when they discuss amplifiers, preamplifiers, and DACs, except when tubes aren't involved because all solid state sounds the same otherwise it was improperly designed; and
• never hear what they hear, because they can't possibly hear, because "science", when they discuss cables of any kind or any other tweak.

That's one of my favorite phrases.

 

Beautiful system btw!

 

I have learned that I need to work hard at convincing myself to be happy with what I have!

 

How about: No Pygmies in Brazil?

 

________ trounces ___________

________wipes the floor with ___________

 

Got a much-needed LOL from all of the responses + the OP original. Fave so far is "“Picked up” instead of “bought." BTW, YMMV precedes "google," now considered a verb and thus, LC when used that way, according to the OED. Still my favorite initialism: WAF.

 

I like WAF but WTF is my fave.

 

This isn't how most people do it? Well, the room can't be all barren. The music has to be stored somewhere, plus room treatments!

 

Whatever your budget is, it's too low and "for a bit more" you can do much better. In this context, a "bit"can be anywhere from 100 to 1,000—or more.

 

I was expecting a high WAF on the new amp, but what I got was an emphatic WTF. Best of both worlds!

 

So sad! I think you could have heard it but your system wasn't resolving enough.

 

Hey, I have a friend with golden ears who recommends this!

Obvious answer: I don't have golden ears and I think it sounds like crap but of course YMMV.

 

I am new here. But my most disliked phrase is “the PrimoMaxKiller100Pro is a GIANT KILLER...”

 

OK Boomer.

 

I assume you use that Marshall amp to play a guitar through in order to compare “live” vs recorded music? Nice!

 

I'm not much of a guitar player, and comparing an electric amplified instrument wouldn't be as telling to me as, say, a large grand piano (which instrument I am more comfortable playing) but running a Les Paul with humbuckers through one of those EchoPlex preamp clones into the Marshall has a very distinctive sound. That Marshall, which I think is about 18 watts, is also craze-ee loud for a home/practice amp.