What is the worst film you have ever seen? (Pt. 2)

Discussion in 'Visual Arts' started by -Alan, Oct 15, 2009.

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  1. Indeed - in a way I consider something like Black Swan worse than Manos: The Hands of Fate because, as you say, a bad movie made by experienced professionals who should know better is a lot more of a letdown - and has greater scope to be excruciating - than something produced by an inexperienced salesman who tried to make a B-movie and failed.
     
  2. johnnyyen

    johnnyyen Senior Member

    Location:
    Scotland
    I would agree. I would never include the B movies, because you get what it says on the tin. Much more preferable to go for the expensive flops like John Carter or The Lone Ranger.
     
  3. I can't watch movies where kids die.
     
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  4. Laineycrusoe

    Laineycrusoe Forum Resident

    Location:
    Tyne and Wear, UK
    Okay, after some thinking (it's painful enough having to even think about the movies), I've come to the conclusion that the sequel to The Legend of the Titanic (called In Search of the Titanic or Tentacolino as it's also known) isn't as bad as the first film…

    ...IT'S EVEN WORSE!

    Be prepared; this is going to be a long review.

    First, I'll give you a brief synopsis of what happens in this film. The plot (if it can even be called that) is even more ridiculous than the first film's. Here, the main characters - namely the couple who got married at the end of the first film, the dog and two of the mice - are going down in a submersible to find the wreckage of the Titanic (I'm not sure why). As they go down, the shark gang from the first film sabotage the craft they're in, making it sink to the seabed. As their air begins to run out, they are saved by fish people and are taken to Atlantis(!), where they help stop a rebellion. Then there's the sharks who are in cahoots with the bad guy from the first film (albeit with different-coloured hair) to plunder Atlantis…I think.

    The only positive things I had to say about the previous film was that Gregory Snegoff was alright as the bad guy (considering he's a professional voice actor, you'd at least expect a decent performance from him) and the animation was alright as well. Here, none of the acting passes the 'decent' mark. According to IMDB, Gregory Snegoff is the dog in this film, but if that's so he's really not trying here, just like everyone else who was involved with this film. The animation has also suffered a downgrade too - it looks like something from a really bad saturday morning cartoon, and the CGI bits look like something you'd see in a Windows 98 point and click game.

    You thought the instances in the first film of an octopus putting the ship back together, moonbeam magic and underwater shark gangs were horrifying enough? In this film we have:
    - A rapping shark.
    - Some kind of underwater system of morse code involving oysters and jellyfish.
    - Living toys.
    - A techno song.
    - A transvestite Scotsman…who doesn't have a Scottish accent.
    - A dog armed with a laser gun while riding a chariot (and no, I'm not joking).

    The film's morals are completely muddled. There's a scene near the beginning where the Atlantians are telling Tentacles to let them help his friends (the main characters); this whole scene is obviously meant to be a big emotional moment, what with the sappy dialogue and dramatic music, but I found this scene both hilarious and painful. The king of Atlantis is a dictator who refuses to let the main characters or anyone else leave Atlantis to return to the surface for absolutely no reason, knows exactly what everyone in his kingdom is up to through mind powers (sort of like a Big Brother presence) and is determined to crush a rebellion of rats who are planning to escape…and he's meant to be one of the good guys! Yeah, the audience is meant to side with the king! There's even a scene not long after the main characters have been brought into the city and the king, queen and their court of irritating creatures gleefully decide that if the main characters ask to leave, they should tell them that they could either have been brought to the city to live the rest of their lives there or they could've been left in the submersible to die - how are these meant to be the good guys again?! But it gets worse…The main characters have basically been tricked by the king into accepting their hospitality without being told they can't return to the surface ever again, and then they're treated to an awful techno song where they're told they can't leave…and the main characters are fine with this. Yeah, they're perfectly okay being prisoners for the rest of their lives, and they happily agree to help the king to spy on the rebels and suppress the rebellion, thus taking their already-wooden personalities and making them even more unlikeable. The rats who want to escape are depicted to be the main villains of this film. At first it looks like they just want to escape Atlantis…but then out of nowhere they say they're going to take over the world. What sort of insane story is this turning into?! There's one part where they say "And like all prisoners, we have the right to escape" - uh, no, that's not exactly what the concept of being a prisoner is. If it hadn't been for them wanting to take over the world and steal the Elixir of Life, the rats would've looked like unintentional heroes, which obviously wasn't what the filmmakers were intending. In fact, they're still unintentional heroes because they're the only ones who have negative things to say about Atlantis, even though the filmmakers clearly want us to not like what the rats are saying.

    You thought Tentacles was annoying in the first film? He's in this film too (although here they refer to him by some other name that I can't make out properly), but thankfully he's not in it very much. Instead we are introduced to another character called Pingo, and somehow they made him even more annoying than Tentacles was. At least with the first film the most annoying character only appeared in the last twenty minutes; here, this new character is throughout most of it. Pingo's so annoying, if he was a real living creature I would personally catch him with a fishing rod and feed him to the gulls. He makes Jar Jar Binks look like a brilliant character, he's that annoying. There's also the rest of the king's advisors, a red dolphin with a whiny voice and some strange otter/fish hybrid, neither of whom are likeable in any way.

    Plot holes and continuity errors? Yep, gotta have those. For example, we're told that nobody is allowed to leave Atlantis, yet the rats have made a secret meeting place…that's outside the city borders! Granted it's likely they made this secret place undetected despite the Nineteen Eighty-Four-style security, but if they've been able to find a way out of Atlantis and they're so desperate to escape, why don't they just swim to the surface from the secret meeting place then? Everyone who lives in Atlantis has been given some potion that makes them able to breathe underwater, so the rats are perfectly capable of swimming away. There's also the transvestite Scotsman, who was originally a toy owned by a little girl who dressed him up like a girl (i.e. made him wear a wig). When we first see him, he complains about having to wear the wig and says it's like a curse…but not even a minute later he removes it and never wears it again. If he hated having to be dressed up like a girl's toy so much, why didn't he just remove the wig in the first place? Probably because he's an idiot. And how can they fire cannons underwater? The fuse and the gunpowder would get wet, meaning they wouldn't work. This isn't something only a scientist would notice - anyone could tell you this. They're not special underwater cannons either - they're normal cannons you'd see in castles, completely unsuitable for being used underwater.

    The way the film ends made my soul break even more than the first film did. If you remember, the first film ended with everyone on board the Titanic surviving thanks to a giant octopus and some whales. Here, the film ends with the Titanic wreckage being brought up (completely restored, might I add) to the surface at some island of paradise where the main characters are allowed to live for the rest of their lives as a reward for helping the king. This is just insulting for the audience and their intelligence. In fact, during the film they even refer to the Titanic as "mythical" - MYTHICAL?! Are you kidding? If we even try to look past the fact that the Titanic was real and sank which resulted in the deaths of about 1500 people, this film takes place about three years after it sank, and the main characters were passengers on board the Titanic if I remember rightly. How then would the Titanic be considered 'mythical'? This isn't like searching for Noah's Ark - they're looking for a ship that sank only a few years before and, if we go by actual history instead of the events of the previous film, resulted in many deaths. That's not mythical. The characters and people who made this movie treat the Titanic like it's fictional and a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow rather than the disaster it was in real life. On top of this, the king still had the nerve to not let the main characters return to their old lives despite having helped him out - instead he maroons them on a secret island with the Titanic that cannot be reached by the outside world. But oh dear, because they're now living in the restored Titanic and an island in the middle of nowhere, that means they can't see their friends in Atlantis again (yet they're perfectly fine about not seeing their families back in the real world - in fact they pay no attention to their families at all). Well the king solves this by giving them a special screen that can show them what's going on in the world…which still means they won't be able to interact with their friends other than observe them like CCTV, but whatever. The first thing they ask to see is the fate of the rats, and we're shown that the rats are all in some kind of rodent mental asylum with no chance of getting out. The main characters respond by laughing at this and then having a dance number. Since when was something like that funny or entertaining? The correct answer, of course, is 'never', and in turn it adds to them being even more unlikeable than they were previously. As I sat through this film, all I was asking myself was "Why was this even made?" The plot doesn't qualify as an actual plot, the characters and acting are appalling, and it makes even more of a mockery of the Titanic disaster than the first film did. It should've been illegal for these films to have been made in the first place.

    Is there anything good to say about this film? Well…come to think about it, there is. This film takes place not long after the events of the first one, and I've already explained the disgusting endings of both of them. The first film was all being told through a flashback by one of the mice, who was elderly when he was telling his grandkids the story. So because the events of this film took place, that meant he never returned to New York, thus meaning he never had grandkids, thus meaning he never told them his story of what 'really' happened on board the Titanic, thus meaning the events of the first film never took place, thus meaning the events of this film never took place…which means all of this never happened!
    HOORAY! :goodie:

    Plus it's another plot hole…on its own continuity.
     
    Last edited: Jan 5, 2014
    Dudley Morris likes this.
  5. alexpop

    alexpop Power pop + other bad habits....

    Most recent takes the biscuit >Elysium< NRF award... no redeeming features.
     
  6. Man, I totally need to see those wretched Titanic cartoons!
     
  7. Oatsdad

    Oatsdad Oat, Biscuits, Abbie & Mitzi: Best Dogs Ever

    Location:
    Alexandria VA
    Agree. Yes, I think some of the listings in this thread are silly and enter the "if that's the worst you've seen, you need to get out more" category - "disappointments" don't equal "worst ever".

    But I'm with you in that I have different expectations for different films, so I tend to be much harder on so-called "quality films" than I would be on basic popcorn fare. I thought "Black Swan" was a mess - pretentious and idiotic - but I wouldn't have criticized it as harshly if it'd been a similarly-flawed action flick.

    Dunno if that's fair, but I think it's logical. I expect more from a U2 album than I do from a Katy Perry release - I'm a fan of both but I go into them with different expectations and I'll be more critical of the one I think is the superior artist...
     
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  8. Grant

    Grant Life is a rock, but the radio rolled me!

    I just read where a lot of people are upset over "The Wolf of Wall Street". There is a record number of times the 'F" word was used, and the lead character is a horrible person. I guess Al Pachino's "Scarface" has finally lost its crown for the most times the "f" word is said on screen.
     
  9. Rachael Bee

    Rachael Bee Miembra muy loca

    Maybe the should of had somebody do an apology in the credits like Val Kilmer did in Kiss Kiss Bang Bang? ;) The F-word is in epademic use everyday in N.Y.C. It's the most foul-mouthed place I've ever lived. The movie, which I have not seen yet, would likely be much too mild without the F'in hot sauce, IMO.
     
  10. alexpop

    alexpop Power pop + other bad habits....

    The turd called The Great Gatsby ( recent). :)
     
  11. Grant

    Grant Life is a rock, but the radio rolled me!

    The "f" word doesn't bother me, but times have changed. People have gotten extremely sensitive about profanity. When Scarface came out in the 80s, people were more upset over the violence, and the portrayal of Cubans, than the character's constant use of the "f" word.
     
  12. spudco

    spudco Well-Known Member

    Location:
    Belews Creek, NC
    I used to think "The English Patient" was the worst but "War Horse" and "Tree of Life" have eclipsed it in recent memory...
     
  13. Lightworker

    Lightworker Forum Resident

    Location:
    Deep Texas
    As far as overall quality of writing/acting/direction vs. size of budget and popularity, the biggest stinker of all time would have to be Avatar.
     
    Bender Rodriguez likes this.
  14. Synthfreek

    Synthfreek I’m a ray of sunshine & bastion of positivity

    Are you referring to City Of God? I thought City Of Angels is the remake of Wings Of Desire.
     
  15. Oatsdad

    Oatsdad Oat, Biscuits, Abbie & Mitzi: Best Dogs Ever

    Location:
    Alexandria VA
    It is - and IIRC, kids die in it. I think Meg Ryan plays a doctor who works on kids and some of them die - that's how Nic Cage's angel character observes her in the first place...
     
  16. Rose River Bear

    Rose River Bear Senior Member

    Monster A-Go-Go. Nothing else comes close.
     
  17. Synthfreek

    Synthfreek I’m a ray of sunshine & bastion of positivity

    Ok...thanks for filling me in because I would never watch that. City Of God is filled with kids being killed and kids killing kids, that's why I was confused.
     
  18. No, I'm referring to City of Angels. A kid dies at the beginning of the film.
     
  19. Synthfreek

    Synthfreek I’m a ray of sunshine & bastion of positivity

    And just to clarify...I would never watch City Of Angels because it is a useless remake and not because of children dying...I don't mind that.
     
  20. Oatsdad

    Oatsdad Oat, Biscuits, Abbie & Mitzi: Best Dogs Ever

    Location:
    Alexandria VA
    I think "City of Angels" is good in its own right. I expected it to be awful but found it to be pretty effective...
     
  21. Jack White

    Jack White Senior Member

    Location:
    Canada
     
  22. Like Jello, there's always room for dying children. :)
     
  23. Rachael Bee

    Rachael Bee Miembra muy loca

    I loved the music by Gabriel Yared. I thought the music was better than the film which seemed rather average.
     
  24. Rachael Bee

    Rachael Bee Miembra muy loca

    I'd like a movie where children were killed by pudding snacks instead of the usual slashers! ;)
     
    Dudley Morris likes this.
  25. Laineycrusoe

    Laineycrusoe Forum Resident

    Location:
    Tyne and Wear, UK
    Good luck - you'll need it (and a bottle of brain bleach). There's actually also a third animated Titanic movie called Titanic: The Legend Goes On, as if two wasn't enough to suffer through. This third one is dreadful as well (it rips off countless films and has such delights as stereotypical Mexican mice and most notably a rapping dog), but strangely it's not as disastrous as the other two - don't get me wrong, it's still a horrendous movie, but the two films I've already mentioned are far worse. I'm sure there are worse films out there, but at the time of writing these animated Titanic movies are the worst I've ever seen.

    Oh yeah, and Gregory Snegoff is in this third movie too (as the rapping dog). What is it with him and these animated Titanic movies?
     
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