Your favorite single line from a Seinfeld show

The Slicer is my favorite episode. all the scenes are funny as hell. I love Kramer:
[Kruger's. Kramer is examining Mr. Kruger.]

Kramer: Male mammal. Approximately 30 to 60 years of age. Weight...uh indeterminate. Ok, Mr. Kruger, we are gonna take a photo now for the records. So if you'll stand up please and give me a big smile, oh no no no, not that big. Yeah, that's nice, yes okay. Yes, let's have a looksee...ok, so eh, fiber from shirt on the left shoulder. I'm gonna have to keep my on that.

Kruger: How long have you been doing this Dr. Van Nostrand?

Kramer: Uuh, long long time. Yes, I've seen moles so big they have their own moles. Freckles that cover two men.

Kruger: So, how am I looking?

Kramer: Oh, so far, so good...[looks at Mr. Kruger's shoulder] yeuye...

[Kramer comes out to talk to George.]

George: Kramer, I really owe you one.

Kramer: George, we got a problem.

George: What?

Kramer: Well, he's got a mole on his shoulder. Very suspicious.

George: So, tell him you're concerned about it and he should see someone else.

Kramer: George, why would I, a Juilliard trained dermatologist, send him to another doctor?

George: Because, you're not a dermatologist.

Kramer: He thinks I am. I'm not gonna betray that trust. Here's what I wanna do; I think I can get a section...

George: Whoa, whoa, a section?!

Kramer: Yeah, if I could crab my slicer and he'd hold still...

George: No, you're not taking a deli slicer to my boss...

Kramer: It'll be operative thing, he would barely feel it.

George: No! Absolutely Not!

Kramer: Well, it's my medical opinion, that you're making a big mistake. And it's going in my chart.

 

Kramer: "Desota's down, but Cosmo's got the caboose."

 

One of the funniest parts of this is that Julliard doesn't have a Dermatology school. They are a school for drama, dance and music.

 

Either the cheeseburger line or the shrinkage line

 

"They're real, and they're spectacular!"

 

"Is it a Titelest?!"

 

When in Los Angeles with Jerry, to help Kramer and asking a passerby:
George: Excuse me, where are we?
Man: Earth.
I had the opportunity to use this same response the other day and didn't.
I blew it!

 

Your right. When i heard that I laughed my ass off.

 

Not that there's anything wrong with that

 

That series of episodes (2 or 3?) that they did set in LA were some of the best. I loved the hard boiled cop parody and that little jig they did when they learned the serial killer struck again.

George: Taste this. Is that a dill?
Jerry: (bites sandwich) I think it's tarragon.

 

Elaine: "Why is Mr. Costanza with a man in a cape?"
Jerry: "Well, it is good cape weather. Cool. Breezy."
Elaine: "Yeah, why a cape? Who wears a cape? Where do you even get a cape?"

 

The Ric-shaw episode..
Potato Salad reporting for duty...lmao

 

"A hole in one..."

 

Jerry and Kramer at Barney’s Department Store, inside the dressing room.

Jerry: "Where are your clothes?"
Kramer: "I sold them to Bania."
Jerry: "How'd you expect to get out of here?"
Kramer: "Well, I didn’t think ahead."

 

I like how Peterman instantly understands the punchline of Kramer's story ("...ruining the very pants I was returning!").

 

I love Kramer's scene with the old actress, who says she acted in a Three Stooges short titled "Sappy Pappy." The story takes a horrific turn (a baby dies and the Stooges are executed), and Kramer deadpans, "That was an odd choice for the Stooges."

Sure enough the actress (Elmarie Wendel) really did appear in two Three Stooges shorts. Not the imaginary one she tells the story about, but a similarly titled "Three Sappy People" (1939) and "Slap Happy Sleuths" (1950).

 

AUDREY: "What do they want from Poppie?"
JERRY: "Well, Poppie's a little sloppy."

 

Elaine to George:
Did you ever hear of...holding it in???

 

Kramer: Oh yeah...Sotheby's...they make good cake.

 

The jerk store called. They're running out of you.

 

Elaine: Hey Jerry when do you consider that sex has taken place?

Jerry: I would say when the nipple makes its first appearance.


Not a single line, but you need context.

 

GEORGE: That's why I'm different. I can sense the slightest human suffering.

JERRY: Are you sensing anything right now?

 

What's your call frequency? Are you on a daily?
Is the Saturday night date implied ?
Do you have any Tampax products in your house?

You got your self a girlfriend.
( I know its not exact. thats my memory)

 

"Poppie does a very well ! Very Well"