Dumbest things ever overheard at a record store!

Not heard, but an actual conversation between a record store owner and myself:

Me: Do you have, or sell turntable dustcovers? Mine broke during a move.
Store owner: Why do you need a dustcover for? A turntable is like a furniture. It should be seen.
Me: Well...yes, but I don't like it when dust gets on it and then gets onto my records.
Store owner: Why? Do you live in a dirty apartment?

 

LOL!!! Don't you know? Record store owners are immune to dust. In fact, they never have to clean records. It's an unknown audiophile secret.

 

Hahaha!

 

Not really dumb.
Just funny.

In a miscellany of stalls in an arcade, to the record shop guy;
"Do you have any [indescernible mumble]?"
"What?"
"[Semi indeciperable] Loo Rauls"
"What?"
"Loo Rauls?"
"Loo Rolls? No, this is a record stall. The guy over there [indicates other set of tables] does detergent and bleach and all that household stuff."
"No. Lou RAWLS .... "

 

This happend some years ago at a big record store, with lots of staff.

Me: "Is the new Dylan in?"
Young girl looking at her computer: "We have nothing by The Dylans."

 

Back in the 90's at a Tower Records I was hoping to see the new box set by The Band. I asked the clerk ("Rasta" type dude...)
"Do you have the new Band box set?" clerk: "What new band?"

 

1) I was trading some CD's in to the Wherehouse for store credit around 15 years ago and as I was getting individual prices on each of the CD's the employee would say for example $6 for the Pink Floyd $4 for the Police etc..when he scanned the barcodes. Then when he got to a Jimmy Buffet CD he said "$2 for the Jimmy Buffet CD" but he said Buffet in the way you would say it as an all you can eat Buffet. Just thought that was kinda funny.

2) One time I overheard two people talking to each other. One person said I want to get some Guess Who. Then the other person said you mean those guys who wear the makeup on their faces? The other person says "no that's KISS." The one person thought because Kiss wore makeup to cover their faces that they were the group the Guess Who.

3) Another time two people were talking to each other and one person goes you should get the best of Gordon Lightfoot. Then the other person says "you mean the American Indian guy?" Chuckled a little at that.

 

There's a certain logic to that, you have to admit.

 

I for one always thought that Buffet was pronounced "Buffay", like Phoebe from Friends! It never occurred to me to pronounce it any other way (although I'm from the UK and not familiar with Jimmy's work).

 

Do you have old Rolling Stones, when Brian Jones was the singer ?

For real!

 

"Oh, you like Can? That's prog rock you know! You'd better check out Jethro Tull then, you'll love 'em!"

Sigh...

 

"You'll need a £500 coaxial cable to properly appreciate that Beatles record!"

 

Immediately followed by:

"I'll take two!" -Some SH Forum member.

 

"Do you validate?"
"Yes, but not until you buy something. Then you are worthy in our eyes."

 

"Put on that Rollins Band album"

 

"I don't like {Insert artists from the 50's] because they were all racists and sexists."
Thanks. I didn't ask for your opinion but thanks.

 

I am not kidding with this one. It really happened.

Back in the 90s, I was thumbing through the racks, when I overheard a store clerk helping a young lady look for a birthday gift for her boyfriend:

Clerk: "How about something by the Beatles?"

Young Lady: "The Beatles? Who are the Beatles?"

 

There's a relationship that probably didn't last the week.

 

OK, this is slightly off topic, but I feel it is a little bit appropriate for this thread

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I'll admit, by the way, until about 15 years ago I thought Jethro Tull was the guy with the flute, not the band.

 

I was in a good ol' record store last year some time, and I noticed the Monkees being advertised with the latest releases.
The owner happened to be working (unusual) and I blurted out, "Who cares about the Monkees? They're all dead !" "No they're not," he replied perhaps a little exasperated, haha. I was bummed when Davy passed so unexpectedly, but I really didn't think the Monkees in any form were viable these days.
This was before I became a SH member, but still I immediately realized that was a dumb and rather rude remark of me to just blab out of nowhere. I'm normally a thoughtful, sensitive fellow, believe me !!
I loved those ape-boys way back, and would still say their songs were as good as any of that time. But I could not imagine they had anything fresh to say in 2016, (except maybe the Nez). Then I come here and see all kinds of love for the good old Monkees, even their newer stuff. Bravo !
Meanwhile, I need to re-introduce my brain to my mouth, haha.

 

In a related story, I once overheard:
"See? I told you he was in a band before Wings!"

 

"Everybody's got something to hide except for us and our monkees."

 

Dumbest things I've heard in record stores usually come from the posturing salespeople themselves, moreso than ignorant patrons.

 

This is more along the lines of something dumb I walked into, but many, many years ago I worked at an FYE, and a customer came in -

Guy: "Do you have The Time?"

Me: "Yes, R&B, under D, Morris Day and The Time."

Guy: (Points at wrist) "No, WHAT TIME IS IT?..."