Dumbest things ever overheard at a record store!

And Jethro Tull!

 

Customer: "Do you have Prince Albert in a can?"

Record store employee: "Hot Tuna?"

Customer: "No thanks, I'm not hungry."

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The challenge on that one is who, if anyone, is clueless.

 

When I was 12 or 13 (I'm assuming, based on the U.S. release date of the single), I heard a tune on the radio that I really loved and wanted to buy right away, but the DJ didn't say the title or who it was by. So I just remembered what I was assuming was the title based on what I heard.

I went into the store, found an employee, and said, "I'm looking for that album with that song, 'Ball of Ink'." The guy goes, "Ball of Ink??? I don't think I know that one." I tried describing it at first, but that didn't help. So I tried singing, "Balllll-of-ink <chugga chugga chugga chugga> Balllll-of-ink . . ." etc. Remarkably, since it was a new tune at the time, he says, "Ah! 'Ballroom Blitz'!" And he leads me to the US version of Sweet's Desolation Boulevard.

I've always had a difficult time aurally processing what folks are singing--that's surely one of the reasons that I don't care much about lyrics--but why I thought that the chorus could possibly be "Ball of Ink" remains a mystery, haha. Why would they be singing about a "ball of ink"? What would a ball of ink be anyway?

 

But I bet you always get it right!

 

And that guy Jethro Tull. He was on the Beverly Hillbillies before he learned how to play the flute.

 

And we all know how you turned out

 

I don't know how I feel about this thread (being a bleeding heart liberal and all...). We have all heard dumb things in record shops. Hey! I bet a lot of us have even said dumb things ourselves at one time or another... I remember as a kid, record shops could be really intimidating places and the fear of looking like a fool was something to be weighed up at length before even stepping foot inside... Better, surely, just to embrace it all...?

Having said that, I would much rather overhear a customer saying something 'uninformed' than overhear a record shop owner/worker trying to humiliate or rip-off a customer... Example in point: About 25 years ago I'm standing near the counter of a (then) very well known record shop in Birmingham (UK) - yes, Reddingtons Rare Records I do mean you - when a young person walks in with a load of Queen singles (45s). One of these singles just happened to be the blue vinyl Bohemian Rhapsody (still the only copy I've ever seen). The guy behind the counter looks through them and says, "Hmm, Queen, no one wants them any more. I'll give you £5 for the lot". Thankfully, the guy said he's think about it and walked out. I often wonder if he later went back... Hopefully not.

 

...as if record stores ever were bastions of intelligent commentary and conversation...

 

"And then they changed their name to Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band."

 

I've told this one before but in the 80's I was in a Camelot Music store where a young female employee was shelving CD's. She looked up from her work and yelled to her boss, "Monty Python? Isn't he Blues?"

 

"Do you have that record, I don`t know what it`s called but it was on the radio last week?"
"Do you have that record, I don`t know what it`s called but my sister was playing it?".
"Do you have that record, I don`t know what it`s called but it goes......Ummmm.....Daaaa....Ummmm.....Daaaa?"
"Do you have that record by Ziggy Stardust?"
"Do you have that record, I don`t know what it`s called but it`s on Motown?"
"Is this record any good?"
"It say`s in Record Collector magazine that it`s worth £5.000".

All of these are genuine quotes from customers when I ran a record shop years ago!

 

Not in a record store, but at a Goodwill store, two college girls:

Girl 1: I'm going to buy some records.
Girl 2: Why? We don't even have a record player.
Girl 1: For, you know, nostalgia.

 

And then there was a guy behind the counter who kept referring to the first Velvet Underground album as "Andy Warhol."

 

I've heard variations on this since the 70's. These days they wouldn't know who Wings were.

 

My record collector buddy from California wanted to visit an infamous disc shop in Las Vegas a few years back.
We pull up in his Lexus and head for the front door. The owner (who will remain "Richly" anonymous) stands in
the doorway blocking us with his arm and says (strong New York accent): "I gotta warn you fellas...there ain't
no bargains here." Boy oh boy was he right about that!

 

Me: Do you sell any new records?
Owner: No, no one wants them, they are too expensive.

 

Do y'all have Have Mercy been waiting for the bus all day by Boz Scaggs???

 

About 10 or 15 years ago, on vacation, in New Orleans, my wife and I went into a best buy store to pick up some cds. I asked the kid working in the music department if they had the Rolling Stones SACDS. He didn't know what an SACD was, but even worse was when he said "Who are they?"

 

A short time ago while I was waiting at the till to pay for some LPs when a guy in his mid 20s with a small bin of trade ins asks if they have the Beatles album with the butcher babies cover. That may not be so dumb a question however when he was told the album was quite rare and they had never even seen one he couldn't believe it. "I thought every record store had one!"

 

My dad went into the Sam Goody at the mall to get my older brother a CD he wanted for Christmas. "Can I help you find something?" the girl asked him.

"Yes, I'm looking for The Who," my dad said.

She began looking under "H."

 

You shouldn't take a humourous comment seriously or personally.

(And as I explained in another post, female customers in the record stores around here are the exception, not the rule - kinda like this Forum. If some girl shopping in the store turned to me and asked a question, I'd be happy to talk to her.)

Re. the mono question. I think that's a legitimate question, btw - not a dumb thing to ask at all. Mono ended approximately 50 years ago. Someone, especially a younger person, might have seen it on a record cover, but have no idea what it is. [How long has it been since album covers/ CD booklets even came with a 'stereo' description on them?] I've had several impromtu and enjoyable conversations in record stores that strangers have struck-up with me regarding something they wonder about when browsing through the LPs.

 

Now this is funny!

 

Maybe this was just another case of passive-aggressive record store worker in action.

 

I was next to a couple of teens looking at Sgt. Pepper, and one said to the other: "This is supposed to be their good one".

 

well, yea. The ones that want $3-5k for one always have one available.