Gutbusting hilarious film scenes

I love that! Another good one - Lili Taylor singing "Joe lies. He lies."

 

This one was just on TV a few days ago:

"He hates these cans!" (someone should be able to guess what movie this is from).

 

That would be Steve Martin, in the role of a lifetime as Navin R. Johnson in The Jerk. Even funnier is the next line, when he tries to take refuge in front of a soda vending machine: "There's cans in there, too!"

My sister and I are always breaking each other up by tossing out lines from this movie on the slightest pretext. Other favorites:

"You mean I'm gonna stay this color?"

"Don't worry...I've rigged it."

"I could use money!"

"The new phone book's here, the new phone book's here!"

"Give us some new wine, the good stuff!"

"Well, I don't need my dog!"

 

The first Steve Martin movie - good one.

The body scene from Pulp Fiction:

JIMMIE: You gotta understand something, Winston. I want to help you guys out and all, but that's my best linen. It was a wedding present from my Uncle Conrad and Aunt Ginny, and they ain't with us anymore –

THE WOLF: – let me ask you a question, if you don't mind?

JIMMIE: Sure.

THE WOLF: Were your Uncle Conrad and Aunt Ginny millionaires?

JIMMIE: No.

THE WOLF: Well, your Uncle Marsellus is. And I'm positive if Uncle Conrad and Aunt Ginny were millionaires, they would've furnished you with a whole bedroom set, which your Uncle Marsellus is more than happy to do. I like oak myself, that's what's in my bedroom. How 'bout you Jimmie, you an oak man?

JIMMIE: Oak's nice.

 

The Mau-Mau’s in the recording studio from Spike Lee’s underappreciated Bamboozled:

1/16TH BLACK: Yo, Big Black, we needs a name for this joint.

BIG BLACK: How 'bout... Black Iz Black?

DOUBLE BLACK: That's da bomb.

MO BLACK: That's gonna give me some inspiration.

JO BLACK: Gonna make me get my flow on.

BIG BLACK: We should call dis da BLACK album.

SMOOTH BLACK: Yo, check it out. We have never conformed to none of the white man's rules and regulations and later for that ole slave owner Webster. Therefore I respectfully submit BIG BLACK that we from now on, hence forth and whatnot spell B-L-A-K, not B-L-A-C-K.

HARD BLACK: I feel dat.

1/16TH BLACK: B-L-A-K. BLAK. The darkest of all colors, the opposite of white. A member of an African people. But check it out, here's where the grey people try to get slick with their trickery. Listen to the full connotations. GLOOMY. DEPRESSING. EVIL. WICKED. ANGRY. SULLEN. BLAK OUT. BLAK LISTED. BLAK BALL. Need I say more.

BIG BLACK: B-L-A-K it is.

 

Yep - I knew someone would know. A classic.

 

Any scene in Best of Show featuring the Joe Garagiola-esque commentary of Fred Willard.

"Now tell me, which of these dogs would you want to have as your wide receiver on a football team?"

"Excuse me if this is off the subject a little bit, but just take a guess at how much I can bench press. Come on, what do you think? Take a guess...315 pounds, maxing out at 400!"

"That looks like a fast dog."

"Doctor, a question that's always bothered me and a lot of people... Mayflower, combined with Philadelphia, a no-brainer, right? 'Cause this is where the Mayflower landed. Not so. It turns out Columbus actually set foot somewhere down in the West Indies. Little-known fact."

"I went to one of those obedience places once. It was all going well until they spilled hot candle wax on my private parts."

"I'd hate to go on a date with this judge and have her judge me, that'd be no fun."

"I don't think I could stand being poked and prodded like that. I told my proctologist, 'Why don't you take me out for dinner and a movie sometime?'"

"And to think that in some countries these dogs are eaten."

 

Just about all of The Big Lebowski. In particular I like the opening voice over that dissolves into The Dude shopping for some half and half, and for slapstick the suitcase exchange on the bridge and The Dude dropping the joint under himself while he's driving. That quick pooside scene with Phil Hoffman, Bunny, and The Nihilist ending in Bunny's offer gets me, and my wife loves the painting studio scene with David Thewlis and Julianne Moore. More recently I was slayed by Bowfinger with Steve Martin, Eddie Murphy, Heather Graham, Christine Baranski, and Terence Stamp as the director of 'Mind Head'. Eddie is priceless as a paranoid psychotic action film star who needs to be periodically chilled out by Stamp so he won't show his private parts to the Laker Girls. And for older films you can't beat The Loved One, which was covered in a recent thread.

 

But, if I had to take one moment, and just one, I think it would be Christopher Guest explaining to Rob Reiner that 'this one goes to 11'.

 

speaking of Monty Python.....

In the Holy Grail when the "little bunny rabbit" bites the heads off of all who approach it, and in "Life of Bryan" when the alien spaceship takes Bryan for a ride, for no apparent reason. Totally unexpected!!

Also, Raising Arizona has a lot of laugh out loud moments.

Nic Cage - Do you have any ballons in funny shapes??

Guy behind counter - Sure do, if'in you think "round" is funny.

 

Jennifer Coolidge's "hum" in A Mighty Wind, along with the pre-show prayer by the WINCs...

 

Corky St. Clair (Christopher Guest) in "Waiting For Guffman":..."You know what you are....you're bastard people!"

"I hate you and your....ass face!"

Also, in the extras section on the DVD--don't miss Corky when he tries turkey hunting with Brian Doyle Murray. "What I don't want is for them to come out and peck my flesh". pure genius.

 

The Alamo sequence in Pee Wee's Big Adventure...

 

I love that scene and the one earlier in the movie where he's interrogating his friends in the basement after his bike is stolen and he really starts coming undone! LOL!!

"Exhibit Q, a scale model of the entire mall, ahahahahaha!!!!"