Here comes the Next Big Thing: Corporate Rap

With the music industry currently in a tailspin, the marketing and promotional departments of the major labels have been working non-stop to turn things around. Everyone agrees that today's youth simply aren't buying music -- but what has remained evasive is what to do to change this, and restore profitability to the music business. Now, the executives of the major labels think they have the answer: Corporate Rap.

Joseph Suit is the CEO of Megacorp Music, and explained his company's new direction in a recent interview. "Corporate Rap, or c-rap for short, picks up where conventional urban forms have left off. For a while in the mid-80s, rap music was very confrontational and political. It made people think, which really wasn't good. Once we eliminated the political portion, sales really took off. But we neglected to put something in that would keep people spending, and that has proven to be a costly mistake."

The difference in c-rap is the message, Suit explains. "At first we thought that having no message was best. This worked for a while, but today's generation is different. You see, having no message leads a small -- but significant -- number of people to think about other things. Things like why are all manufactured goods coming from the far east, or why would anyone pay exhorbitant prices to wear clothes that are really giant ads for the brand. That didn't warrant enough concern initially, but now we have the internet. We discovered these misguided folks were writing down their thoughts and sharing them with others, which could in turn, mislead even more people. We soon realized that this was cause for great concern. We looked into shutting down the internet, but we found that wouldn't be cost-effective. So we went back to the music, and realized that we needed to put something in there that would set them back on the right path of being a good consumer. We took the subtle self-promotion used in Corporate Rock, and -- to use an industry term -- 'turned it up to 11'."

Suit cites c-rapper Con Soomah's recent "Live To Buy, Buy To Live" album as a good example. The lyrical themes are centered around acheiving greatness through purchasing of brand-name merchandise. The album's first heavy-rotation cut, "Itz Allabowt Da Logo", explains to the listener the importance of spending.

If itz got no logo, da sh¡t iz a no-go
Dey pop you ass cuz U 2 ghetto
Phat Farm, Adidas, Reebok, Nike
Gotta show da brands 2 getz da hos 2 like me

"The thing about c-rap is that it has to be loud and direct. Especially loud. You've really got to hammer the message in. You don't want people to think about it; because they'll get it wrong half the time. You've got to tell them in no uncertain terms to buy, buy, buy."

Suit cites MC Hammer as a major pioneer in c-rap. "Before Hammer, rap was a genre that was subversive, underground, and dangerous. There were even a couple of rap tracks that told kids not to buy stuff! But Hammer neutralized these anti-consumerist elements in it. He made it safe to play on radio and in malls. Once it wasn't threatening, we could get it into middle America, and we did. Now we just have to put the right message in."

But what about kids who don't frequent record stores, download all their music, and spend far more time on movies and video games?

"We're also exploring new marketing methods", Suit explains. "We now know that kids won't pay for music, so the question becomes 'how can we get them to hear our c-rap message?' Making a c-rappy internet ad is one way. But the real answer is to find out what kids are spending their money on, and bundle c-rap with that, as a value-added item. We've got several partners who are very excited about this, because the c-rap promotes the product, and vice-versa. The two tie in together, so what you get is a really c-rappy product. For example, a kid could buy the latest Nike sneakers, and get the new Con Soomah album. Including music with video games is proving to be another successful move. But by far the best I've seen is Justin Timberlake. He's not just singing the new McDonald's jingle for TV commercials, he's performing it at every show! It's marketing genius!! I really wish I could've pulled that one off myself."

Suit was also able to address concerns that some artists would lose credibility by "selling out" for c-rap. "Perhaps our greatest achievement has been making it cool to sell out", he boasts. "Being 'in demand for the brand' is now the proof of success. What could be more cool than getting paid to promote the popular brands? The 'credibility' thing is as dead as Barry White. Kids have seen how rock stars like The Rolling Stones have gone from being rebellious to corporate, signing co-branding deals, exclusive marketing arrangements, etc. It took them a few years, but they came around. Today's youth don't want to wait -- they want the branding, the lucrative sponsership deals, and marketing tie-ins now. Only c-rap makes it possible."

As for the future of c-rap, Suit is ecstatic. "It's finally happening: the total convergence of entertainment and marketing. Music videos and commercials will be one and the same. People won't buy c-rap from artists, but from brands. The future is c-rap!"

(Updated to fix a typo)

 

I will not buy c-rap music at all, but that's me and many others here on the forum, but I understand that this is a big thing.

 

Oh, God no! They want to make the worst kind of rap! We already have it in the TV commercials. The rap genre has already been destroyed. Why???

If you want to make good rap, make it socio/political again. I'll buy it.

 

Har har. The whole urbanization of commericials is annoying though.

 

Nothing wrong with urbanizing marketing. It's just that it sucks the way in which corporate America uses it sor marketing.

Maybe commercials with urban themes don't play well in Wisconsin?

 

You could say that rap went corporate long ago. The mid-90's was last time that this music was really vital and largely unspoiled. Since then there's been very little that's been interesting or innovative. I'm not against marketing per se, but the way it's done a lot of the time is extremely crass and distasteful.

 

That's one of my favorite "articles" from the onion. Back when I was a record store employee I worked with two girls who fit that description. I had it bad for one girl in particular, but nothing could come of it. Technically I was her boss so it would have been pretty awkward. On my last day I told her how I felt about her, but I knew she already had a boyfriend and I was moving out of state.

 

Word!

 

That has inspired me. Stay tuned.

 

It's been difficult to take her seriously as an MC since Biggie(Notorious BIG) died. Someone with legitimate lyrical and vocal flow, she has totally sold out. Upsets me to see someone squander their gift like that.

 

Rap has gone the way of rock- down the media drain. It is impossible to resist the all-powerful temptation of the Sell Out. Whether it's L'il Kim pimping Old Navy, the rapping granny in Wedding Planner, that guy from Black Eyed Peas doing pre-movie "entertainment" (read: marketing) at cinemas, or Dr Dre and Quincy Jones in the Pepsi commercial on a bus, the spirit of rap has gone from a burning fire of rage, party, and message to a flickering underground spark drowned out by the light pollution of a corporate neon haze.

And don't even get me started on Limp Bizkit.

 

Then there's the smooth talk, soft hits format, AKA as S-HIT.