History Channel's Alone

Discussion in 'Visual Arts' started by Chris from Chicago, Apr 17, 2016.

  1. Chris from Chicago

    Chris from Chicago Forum Resident Thread Starter

    Day 45. 7 people remain.

    The herbalist wishes for chocolate cake. But that won't help her with the spider bites on her leg. It looks bad. Turns out it is. Ironic that the Chilean Recluse Spider would screw up someone on Alone. Mentally...she's great. Physically...she's a wreck.

    Skinny man seems a little bonkers. He attempts to prove me wrong by eating a freshly caught fish's sperm sack. He failed.

    Neanderthal man collects firewood. But he's running out of it. He falls in 42° water untangling his catch. He's now soaked. He has no choice but to move his camp where the wood lives. He...oh gross...I think one of his teeth fell out.

    Giant man remains a lazy bastard. But his attitude remains positive. So he decides to relax some more. All of a sudden relaxing makes him sad. Now he's just being a bitch. Fezzik taps out.

    Random thought...

    I have five different grocery stores within 3 miles of my house. I should kiss the cashier on the face. They have good soft pretzels. But I won't. He'd get pissed.
     
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  2. Borgia

    Borgia Well-Known Member

    Location:
    Arkansaw
    With the spider bites she is showing off, the Hippy Girl should head for home. She is showing symptoms of a serious infection, I wouldn't stay another day, yet she is going around hugging the trees. Ironically she was doing very well & has the best attitude.
    The Cave Man made a huge mistake by moving his camp, he almost gets flooded out. he's not thinking clearly it seems. Next week will be good.
     
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  3. GodShifter

    GodShifter The Last in Line®

    Location:
    Dallas, TX, USA
    Oh, how I've missed these updates. Seriously.

    Still never seen an episode. WTF. I love this kind of stuff.
     
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  4. Luckless Pedestrian

    Luckless Pedestrian Well-Known Member

    Location:
    New Hampshire, USA
    The unpleasant man that failed and tapped out is still convinced that he is the smartest person in the world.

    I hope the spider bite girl doesn't have to leave, she is the only one still having fun and doing interesting things. I have sympathy for the others, they've been out there a long time, but it gets to be a bit of a bore watching them slowly starve and become miserable.
     
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  5. Chris from Chicago

    Chris from Chicago Forum Resident Thread Starter

    I'd guess there are no more than a couple of episodes left. You're right. They are suffering. They'll start tapping out quickly now
     
  6. Borgia

    Borgia Well-Known Member

    Location:
    Arkansaw
    Cave Man left, he just froze out. Signs o' hypothermia.
    The Hippy Girl with her nasty spider bites is amazingly enough still hanging in there, doctoring her bites with herbs & seems to be getting better. She is very determined.
    Skinny Man is trying to trap a hog or shoot one with his archery tackle, so far no good.
    These folks are starving.
    The other girl, can't remember her name, is doing all right. Heck, I think the girls are outdistancing the men this go round. There are 2 men & 3 women left.
    That dude Fowler finally trapped a sparrow of some kind, he's doing all right if he catches about 10 birds a day...
     
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  7. Chris from Chicago

    Chris from Chicago Forum Resident Thread Starter

    Nice review. Thanks. I DVR this. But in the evenings, I like to grab my favorite crystal tumbler, fill it full of my favorite brown water, and get...relaxed. I viewed it last night. Jotted down a couple of notes. I'll get to writing my review shortly. I've learned that posting here in a too relaxed state does not a cohesive post make.
     
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  8. Chris from Chicago

    Chris from Chicago Forum Resident Thread Starter

    Day 51. 6 people remain.

    As winter draws near, food sources are shrivelling up. The landscape is slowly being covered with both frost and ice.

    Neanderthal man is cold. And he can't warm up. His clothes are soaked and he can't get dry because of the rain. He's starting to hallucinate. He taps out. It's not safe for him to stay. What if he were too far gone to press the button? Then what?

    Beardy-face has the coolest shelter. Full of home style perks. And he builds the coolest bird trap. But not so cool the bird doesn't escape. He sort of looks like Yukon Cornelius from the old Rudolph and the Red Nosed Christmas special. Well...old Yukon finally gets his bird. I think I'm starting to pull for this guy. After he cleans his bird, it turns out to be the size of his thumbnail. Thems just the Patagonian breaks.

    The herbalist and her spider bites trudge on. She knows exactly what plants and berries to boil up and rub on her swollen wounds. She thinks it's helping. I do too. But then she gets a roommate. A mouse. Cool. But the mouse has rabies. Not cool. So she does what any free thinking full bodied American would do...build a trap and kill the damned mouse. I'm starting to like this one too.

    The biologist celebrates a birthday. Alone. So now she's sad. People are close to breaking. A deer comes to her tent door. She watches. But she can't harm it. It's endangered. That made her sad too.

    Skinny man goes hunting with a bow and arrow. This guy is a great shot. Has he NOT been using this all along? He sets up a great hunting spot. But after two months of living without soap, I imagine a crawling dung beetle would stop and think...hell no...not this way...something up there smells like ass.

    Random thought...

    Living is enjoying the moment. But surviving is just getting through that moment. Living is way better than surviving.
     
    Last edited: Jan 20, 2017
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  9. EddieMann

    EddieMann Forum Resident

    Location:
    Geneva, IL. USA.
    Quoted for truth.
     
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  10. johnod

    johnod Active Member

    Location:
    Canada
    I'm cheering for herbalist/spider bite girl.

    Or bird trap guy, I think he's the boat builder, keeps building amazing things, gotta love that.
     
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  11. johnod

    johnod Active Member

    Location:
    Canada
    Callie , spider bite girl is gone.
    I didn't see that coming, I thought she was doing the best of all of them.
    Seemed to be eating steady, and mind under control.

    O well... what do I know?
     
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  12. Chris from Chicago

    Chris from Chicago Forum Resident Thread Starter

    Day 72. 5 people remain.

    Snow falls. Hard. It looks beautiful. But it makes for difficult living. A boat rushes toward shore. Someone...or some people...will be going home.

    Beardy-face maintains a positive attitude. He builds a snowman in honor of his daughter. Sweet. Then he shoots it in the face with an arrow. Decidedly less sweet. Thinking about family has been the downfall of many on this show.

    Skinny man dreams of cheese. And he LOVES the newly fallen snow. But he needs food. He's lost 40 lbs. He's so weak he can't string his bow. Is it possible he has more teeth in his mouth now than when he arrived here?

    The young botanist is slow. And she seems unenthusiastic. She's determined to kill a goose with a slingshot. But she can't remember to stalk quietly. She goes gooseless another day.

    The biologist is sad. A fox shat in her yard. And it's her son's 6th birthday. That makes her more sad.

    The herbalist also enjoys the snow. And she's happy with the newly healed condition of her swollen spidey glands. She catches a fish. Boo-ya. I like her. Two and a half months in and she's eating well. She's...NO WAY! She's the one going home. She has kicked this place's ass. My guess she had no idea how well she was doing compared to the others. She's leaving...not because she had to, but because it was just time. She didn't win. But she beat this place.

    Random thought...

    Everyone here is brave. They almost seem willing to come close to death. I, myself, am not afraid to die either. Having said that, I am probably going to die after stabbing myself in the leg with a knife while running because I found out my food was ready.
     
    Last edited: Jan 27, 2017
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  13. EddieMann

    EddieMann Forum Resident

    Location:
    Geneva, IL. USA.
    Beardy face dude knocked off the snowman with a slingshot IIRC. You'd better eat something, you're starting to hallucinate. :p
     
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  14. Chris from Chicago

    Chris from Chicago Forum Resident Thread Starter

    Yeah. My wife confirms sling shot. Those Patagonian winters can be rough on a guy.
     
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  15. Luckless Pedestrian

    Luckless Pedestrian Well-Known Member

    Location:
    New Hampshire, USA
    Callie and Drywaller had similar goals (buy land, buy house for daughter) but what a difference in outcomes. Drywaller gives everything he can to win and get the 500K, fails, and leaves Patagonia a miserable, broken man. Alone out there, Callie manages to find something, some personal joy, something of greater value than the money and land she coveted, and leaves on her own terms, at peace, stronger than when she first arrived.
     
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  16. Chris from Chicago

    Chris from Chicago Forum Resident Thread Starter

    Day 73. 4 people remain.

    Being alone is scary. But not as scary as feeling alone. Body language suggests the contestants time here is ending. A boat comes. With Dr's. They periodically come to check the health of those that remain. And at this point, they need to be checked.

    Beardy-face is tired. And hungry. And he's weak. He catches a fish. But loses it when the line gets tangled. He is now dejected too. So he considers eating roots. From a strange uninhibitable place. Nope.

    The biologist continues to catch fish. She continues to adapt and stay positive. She makes a hammock. She's doing fine. She's smarter than I could ever be. Short of deciding to be on this show. That might tip the smarter scale in my favor a wee bit.

    The youngest competitor continues to be busy. It lifts her spirits. But it saps her energy. So she makes a functioning drum. At this point I couldn't make a stick.

    Skinny man looks dead. At one point passing out on camera. He's learning to live with his hunger. Or at least pretending to. He walks the stony shoreline. He falls. He screams. He'll be okay. Sort of. So he decides to start eating his huge supply of fish rations. Rations he should have consumed. He's lost 42 pounds. His blood pressure is low. Too low. He's dying. The doctors tell the producers he has to leave. He's out. Turns out someone dying a slow death on tv is not the great television viewing experience some thought it might be.

    Random thought...

    The prize money is nice. A cool half million would help many. But at what cost? Being snowed and rained on while sitting under a tarp for months? The hunger? The sickness? The time away from family that will never get recovered?

    Is it worth it? That's for each of us to answer. I am not ashamed to say I wouldn't try. I like my little house and my little life. If there is shame in that...I'll find a way to live with it.
     
    Last edited: Feb 4, 2017
  17. Chris from Chicago

    Chris from Chicago Forum Resident Thread Starter

    Day 77. 3 people remain.

    There is a thin line between success and failure.

    Megan has a bad tooth. It isn't the best time or place for that. I like her. The biologist is feisty. She can win this. But she won't. She taps out on account of her bad tooth. Life...is fragile. So is the occasional molar.

    Young Carleigh is bone thin. But she eats...sort of. And she prospers...kind of. But she cries a lot. And then she smiles. She is emotionally and psychologically all over the map. She hears a boat. And she fears her health will get her pulled from the show. They check her vitals. She's lost 30% of her body mass.

    Are they turning up the volume of the breath-y-ness of this? When I'm done with writing this, I am pretty sure a freshly sharpened pencil is piercing my eardrums.

    Fouler (Beardy-face) looks 70. He was a large fellow when this started. But he's quite puny now. He remains busy. And he looks happy. Until he cries in a near nervous breakdown. And then he gets "hungry-angry". He shouldn't be here. He's lost 70 lbs and 33% of his body mass.

    Doctors check their vials. Contestants are automatically pulled from the show if their BMI is 17 or less.

    It has been determined Carleigh is in a critical zone. She has to leave for medical reasons. Her digestive and nervous systems are failing. It made her so sad...that I got sad. She made it farther than any other on this show. Ever. Save one.

    Fowler. Last day. Only he doesn't know it. Of course...it snows on him. He hears a boat. He thinks they're going to make him leave. Why wouldn't he? They just checked him yesterday. But he's ready to accept that. And they are. But news is good. He does get to go home. But with him will be the prize money. His wife slowly sneaks behind him to tell him he won. Why does this make me so sad? Manipulating son's-a-bitches.

    It is day 87.

    Random thoughts...

    F*** this place. These people are dying. Why would I voluntarily watch this? It really isn't a good time. It's really more of a psychological case study of survival.

    Until next season. Be warm. And eat well.
     
    Last edited: Feb 10, 2017
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  18. Borgia

    Borgia Well-Known Member

    Location:
    Arkansaw
    Agreed, this has become a matter of slowly watching these people starve to death. Morbid.
     
  19. Chris from Chicago

    Chris from Chicago Forum Resident Thread Starter

    Season 4. Same welcoming locale... Vancouver island. New twist. Teams. Father/ son. Two brothers.

    As much as I would never choose to do this... I'd much rather suffer alone in my cold/ hunger/ fear... than to suffer the unknown worry of having to have my son or daughter find me in this pit of despair.

    They're taking a perfectly miserable show and turning it up a notch.
     
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  20. EddieMann

    EddieMann Forum Resident

    Location:
    Geneva, IL. USA.
    Misery loves company? :hide:
     
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  21. Chris from Chicago

    Chris from Chicago Forum Resident Thread Starter

    Ironic that a show with the lone word "Alone" in its title would actually remove the "alone" part of the show.
     
  22. slovell

    slovell Forum Resident

    Location:
    Chesnee, SC, USA
    They should rename it to "The Fake American Picker's Channel".
     
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  23. Borgia

    Borgia Well-Known Member

    Location:
    Arkansaw
    Also a husband & wife team. This will be brutal. When the going gets tough & the hunger sets in imagine the fighting & frustration, especially among brothers.
     
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  24. GodShifter

    GodShifter The Last in Line®

    Location:
    Dallas, TX, USA
    Possible new titles:

    (Not)Alone
    (I Wish I Was)Alone
    (If Only)Alone
     
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  25. beccabear67

    beccabear67 Forum Resident

    Location:
    Victoria, Canada
    I've never watched this show but am pretty familiar with the north end of Vancouver Island... do they ever show the towns? Port Hardy and Port McNeil or anywhere else? As a kid I used to enjoy scaring myself and a friend by saying Sasquatch was on the other side of a creek watching us and stuff. Had to shoo stick insects off the surface of the water to get washing water in buckets twice every day when I was in Port Hardy. I picked up some lore about edibles and how to interact with wildlife if forced into it, even how to keep the noseeums and mosquitoes at bay naturally, but I really am not fit enough anymore to want to do any survivalist thing. Fifteen years ago, maybe. I can hunt and butcher if I have to also, and still do the suzy homemaker stuff cooking it. Do they have to burn out burrowing ticks and boil pine needles for vitamin C?
     

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