James Bond 007 film-by-film thread

I think the cinematography is also excellent in this one too.

 

Sean Connery as a oriental.

 

Yeah, that was convincing.

 

Apart from how they ranked You Only Live Twice (which I agree is bewildering), this list looks sane to me, overall.

 

"3. From Russia With Love (1963)
Connery searches his hotel room for bugs for what seems like 10 minutes, with the theme music playing deafeningly."

Think I mentioned this before, but that scene makes sense as per what a real spy would do. By adding the theme song there, at a time of no action, it really spices up what would otherwise be dull. And it's like *this guy is cool* even when he is cleaning the room.

 

You Only Live Twice is my second favorite, so what I find odd is Spectre (heavily disliked by many) and Skyfall (my worst) rated so high.

 

https://y.yarn.co/9a4a5a4f-291f-4a32-a39d-17f3f31ae93a_text.mp4?1535140302143

 

I have all the Bond movies, and "You Only Live Twice" is the one I like best and have watched most often, so it's all a matter of taste I guess.

 

I really liked the Japanese guy with the big, white pompadour in You Only Live Twice. What was his name?

 

what's with the Bourne thing, repeated endlessly?

 

The poster must have amnesia.

 

Agree here! Yes, it has many cringe worthy moments!! But worst? No! For Roger Moore, I rate it above Moonraker (worst for me. A cash in on Star Wars and Close Encounters with double taking pigeon, and Jaws’ girl friend) and A View To A Kill (with the Keystone Cops fire engine scene, Tanya Roberts).

So many point out Bond as a clown to disguise himself, but it opened with a 00 agent as a clown! Only major problem is: if a nuclear bomb is going off, you waste several minutes (and it takes a while to put that much makeup on and garb) to dress as a clown?? Film makes it look like seconds!

 

day late and a dollar short as usual but in the throes of watching some in order having not seen many...

Diamonds Are Forever (1971)

Bridge too far for Connery. He looks about 55 in this one. Plus the big screen would've hardly been wide enought for his eyebrows by then. Jesus, once you notice the bastards you can't stop looking. They're like two Moby Dick's cresting over the brim. Or brimming over the crest. Or whatever it is the writer wallies would say.

Turns out this was his last film as main Bond. Still better than his successor though, Roger Moore the wimpy toff.

Overall, this outing is kind of a mailed-in piece of dung. Virtually no flash spy gizmos from Q or M or whoever the old git was. They just drive around a very tinpot-looking fledgling downtown Las Vegas for a bit then later on dick around on an oil rig then the goddamn thing ends.

The #metoo crowd would chunder in their granny gruds at the zeitgeist or oeuvre or whatever of this carry-on. Basically Connery tries to root every single spunk the instant she appears on screen. And they're all spunks. cue Scottish brogue, "What other purpose do they have Moneypenny?"

 

I lived in Vegas for about 10 years from and yeah.... you can really tell how much the city has changed since this film. It all looks a bit rinky dink.

 

Vegas has been going downhill ever since the feds kicked the Mob out, alas...

 

The Man With The Golden Gun (1974)

My Rotten Tomatoes guess was 55%. Not even that. 45%. It's that crap. Rog Moore might be more debonair and elegant than Connery but he already looked too stiff and old and wooden to win any fight, even right from back when he damn started being Bond.

Again, absolutely bugger-all flash gadgetry from HQ.

Best parts were the comedically casual sexism and expansive and druggy 70's decor grottos

 

Maud Adams, Brit Ekland glamour helped.

 

The Spy Who Loved Me. (1977)

First Bond film I saw. Therefore alltime classic. Everyone's first Bond film is an alltime classic. Man, as soon as I saw the opening skiing stunt it all came back to me, 1977, that thing blew my mushroom wanger right the hell off back then.

Big improvement in pyrotechnics too. And gadgetry. The underwater Lotus is alltime #1 Bond gadget. God I can still rememebr the mini stiffy I had for that thing as a sprog

Moore is still too mannequin-stiff to look like he'd win any fistfight though.

Can recall henchman "Jaws" scaring the crap out of me as a kid but wft now he just looks like a gimpy, bad-dental, no-cardio rugby lock forward.

 

Moonraker (1979)

Bit off a bit more than they could chew plot wise, shoehorning about 17 exotic countries into the setting. Then off to space.

Jaws went a bit Wile E Coyote in this one. Got the spunkiest chick in the end though.

Baddie "Drax" with identical accent to dwarf from Game of Thrones was a bit distracting. Good baddie though. Well spoken and loquacious without being all overly convivial like Christopher Lee about 3 films prior.

There were no fat people in the 1970's. McD a fledgling operation yet to transform large swathes of humanity into corpulent puddingshits

The only purpose for women in life according to 70's Bond World was to please men. There were no ugly women. Or if there were, they served no purpose in the lives of men therefore were invisible.

 

For Your Eyes Only. (1981)

The 70's are over. Still all very quaint prior to CGI though. The baddies are still a bit hapless and unmenacing.

No more huge spacious wacko 70's pastel grottos though.

Overall, apart from the locations, it looked a bit low budget. Stuff-all sets, just some ski/car chases. Slick action scenes though. Mountain climbing. Luge run with bobsled chased by skier chased by trailbike. No CGI. "You get on that goddamn motorbike and follow the bobsled team and skier bastards down the goddamn run. And try not to die, ****head. Hurry up, sun's going down, you get one take, dummy."

Aryan nazi biathlon prat wasnt a bad baddie. The main baddie was crap. Hardly even knew who he was for the first hour. Speaking of Game of Thrones, one of the baddies was a very young Daddy Lannister from Game of Thrones, who, spoiler, carked it on the throne in GOT.

 

For Your Eyes Only is a not a film a would start a description with as "the 70s are over." It's more 70s than 80s.

It started filming in 1980, it's not like culture shifted automatically.

 

I believe Sting was offered the 'Aryan' villain role and turned it down. He'd already been a sicko villain in Brimstone and Treacle and this was cartoon world compared to that.

 

A pretty daring cover for 1964

 

Octopussy (1983)

Some pretty sweet racist colonial tropes trotted out in good old India in this one. Harems, curry gags, king cobras, more harem hotties, sword swallowers, bit more harem action. Still, at least they had some fun and camp gaggery with the Bond narrative.

Couldnt tell if Octopussy herself was a goodie or a baddie for most of the film, and refuse to think about it, not in a Bond film. I'm here for gadgets, theme tunes, sexy conquests, car chases and a 72-course banquet of casual objectification of all them gorgeous womens.

 

The Golden Horn.