Re-released music hits for an aging society

Discussion in 'Music Corner' started by Steve Hoffman, May 10, 2002.

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  1. Steve Hoffman

    Steve Hoffman Your host Your Host Thread Starter

    Location:
    Los Angeles
    From our buddy Mark Jackson:

    Subject: Re-released music hits for an aging society

    For all of you who are feeling a little older ( YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE) and
    missing those great old tunes, there is good news. Some of your old
    favorites have re-released their great hits with new lyrics to accommodate
    their aging audience.
    Some examples:

    Paul Simon--"Fifty Ways to Lose Your Liver"
    Carly Simon--"You're So Varicose Vein"
    The Bee Gees--"How Can You Mend a Broken Hip"
    Roberta Flack--"The First Time Ever I Forgot Your Face"
    Johnny Nash--"I Can't See Clearly Now"
    The Temptations--"Papa Got a Kidney Stone"
    Nancy Sinatra--"These Boots Give Me Arthritis"
    ABBA--"Denture Queen"
    Leo Sayer--"You Make Me Feel Like Napping"
    Commodores--"Once, Twice, Three Trips to the Bathroom"
    Procol Harem--"A Whiter Shade of Hair"
    The Beatles--"I Get By with a Little Help From Depends"
    Steely Dan--"Rikki Don't Lose Your Car Keys"
    Herman's Hermits--"Mrs. Brown You've Got a Lovely Walker"
    The Rolling Stones--"You Can't Always Pee When You Want"
    Credence Clearwater Revival--"Bad Prune Rising"
    Marvin Gaye--I Heard It Through the Grape Nuts"
    The Who--"Talkin' 'Bout My Medication"
    The Troggs--"Bald Thing"
    :)
     
    Steve Hoffman, May 10, 2002
    #1
  2. mcow1

    mcow1 Sommelier Gort

    Location:
    Orange County, CA
    LOL:D
     
    mcow1, May 10, 2002
    #2
  3. Gary

    Gary Nauga Gort! Staff

    Location:
    Toronto
    Why is this list in such small print? :confused: Where's the spectacles?:confused:
     
    Gary, May 10, 2002
    #3
  4. Bob Lovely

    Bob Lovely Super Gort In Memoriam

    Location:
    Overland Park, Kansas
    All,

    A few more on the 2 disc set that I recently received from AARP (I am 51):

    Menopause Blues--Eddie Cochran
    Retirement Home Rock--Elvis
    Kisses Sweeter than Geritol--Jimmie Rodgers
    Slowdown, A Lot--Larry Williams
    Save The Last Wheelchair For Me--Drifters
    Almost Old--Chuck Berry
    Grey Gang--Sam Cooke
    60 Candles--Crests
    What A Difference A Lifetime Makes--Dinah Washington
    A Retired Person In Love--Dion & the Belmonts
    Blue Haired Angel--Roy Orbison

    I guess I just got the expanded version!

    Bob

    :D
     
    Bob Lovely, May 10, 2002
    #4
  5. Sckott

    Sckott Hand Tighten Only.

    Location:
    South Plymouth, Ma
    I refuse to be lame, old and slow. When I'm 80, I'll be in good shape and STILL drive 75.

    What will happen by then, kids on their hoverboards will be going 90 while I'm trying to get out of the way!
     
    Sckott, May 10, 2002
    #5
  6. Claviusb

    Claviusb A Serious Man

    Location:
    Southern California
    I came up with this theory a long time ago that my friends love (I know, it's amazing that I came up with a theory, and that I have friends): to figure out the age of the old person driving in front of you, take their speed and subtract from 100.
     
    Claviusb, May 10, 2002
    #6
  7. Dave

    Dave Esoteric Audio Research Specialist™

    Location:
    B.C.
    And of course we can't forget...

    Queen: A Night At The Rest Home
    Eric Clapton: Oldhand
    April Wine: Wanna Drop
    Steely Dan: Oucho
    The Carpenters: A Song For Flu
    John Lennon: Mind's Lame
    Paul McCartney: Band With The Runs (Jet)
    :D
     
    Dave, May 10, 2002
    #7
  8. Tullman

    Tullman Senior Member

    Location:
    Boston MA
    Simon and Garfunkel--A Bridge Over Troubled Gums.
     
    Tullman, May 10, 2002
    #8
  9. kda

    kda Senior Member

    Location:
    Gold Coast Australia
    Beatles -- Do you still love me now that I'm 64?
     
    kda, May 10, 2002
    #9
  10. Andrew

    Andrew Chairman of the Bored

    Please Steve, don't give the ad execs any ideas!:rolleyes:
     
    Andrew, May 10, 2002
    #10
  11. Jimbo

    Jimbo Forum Hall Of Fame

    Location:
    Zero/Zero Island
    Born to be Mild--Steppenwolf
    Hey! You! Get Off My Lawn!--Rolling Stones
    I Don't Get Around--Beach Boys
    I'm 81--Alice Cooper
    Viagra-cadabra--Steve Miller
    Long Thick Glasses--Leo Sayer
    More Than a Touch of Grey--Grateful Dead
    Adam Raised a Cane--Bruce Springsteen
    Have a Scar--Pink Floyd
    I Can't Drive 25--Sammy Hagar
    Can't Find My Way Home--Blind Faith
     
    Jimbo, May 10, 2002
    #11
  12. Bob Lovely

    Bob Lovely Super Gort In Memoriam

    Location:
    Overland Park, Kansas
    Jimbo,

    Great additions, especially the Steve Miller re-release. I assume that is the 12" version?

    Bob :D
     
    Bob Lovely, May 10, 2002
    #12
  13. Steve Hoffman

    Steve Hoffman Your host Your Host Thread Starter

    Location:
    Los Angeles
    Great titles.

    Bridge Over Troubled Gums. Good one Tulldude!

    Can't Find My Way Home-Blind Faith? Yeah, that's the only track that won't have to be redone.
     
    Steve Hoffman, May 10, 2002
    #13
  14. Jefhart

    Jefhart Senior Member

    Location:
    Poughkeepsie, New York
    This stuff is hysterical.

    Stuff, what stuff, who said anything about any stuff, what are you talking about?

    Where's my medication?

    Jeff (Like a Hurry Cane)
     
    Jefhart, May 10, 2002
    #14
  15. mcow1

    mcow1 Sommelier Gort

    Location:
    Orange County, CA
    When I Was 64
     
    mcow1, May 10, 2002
    #15
  16. Mark Jackson

    Mark Jackson Forum Resident

    Location:
    Bremerton, WA
    You guys are crackin' me up!

    I just thought of another........

    Carole King - "You've got depends"
     
    Mark Jackson, May 10, 2002
    #16
  17. mcow1

    mcow1 Sommelier Gort

    Location:
    Orange County, CA
    One more
    Count 5 - Sciatic Reaction
     
    mcow1, May 10, 2002
    #17
  18. Dave

    Dave Esoteric Audio Research Specialist™

    Location:
    B.C.
    And lest we forget....

    Edison Lighthouse: Nothing Goes (Where My Hair Used To Grow}
    Chris te: Yellow Liver
    Brewer & Shipley: One Lung Over The Line
    Richie Havens: Here Comes The Runs
    Tommy James: Draggin' Behind
    Bullet: White Thighs, Blind Eyes
    Argent: Prop Your Head up
    Sailcat: Wheelchair Moma
    Dr. Hook & The Medicine Show: Cover Of The Old And Stoned
    Redbone: Come And Get Your Drugs
    First Class: Beach Geezer
    Reunion: Life Is A Rock (But The Nurse Had To Turn Me)
    Ten Years After: I'd Love To Change My Shorts
    Elvin Bishop: Fooled Around And Broke My Hip
    Exile: Gum You All Over
    Walter Egan: Geritol And Wheels
    The Knack: My Glaucoma
    The Kiki Dee Band: I've Got The I.V. In Me
    Chuck Mangione: Heals So Good
    The Sweet: **** I need Oxygen
    :D ;)
     
    Dave, May 10, 2002
    #18
  19. petzi

    petzi Forum Resident

    Location:
    Germany
    *YAWN*
    I drive 120+ mph regularly.
    :D
     
    petzi, May 10, 2002
    #19
  20. Steve Hoffman

    Steve Hoffman Your host Your Host Thread Starter

    Location:
    Los Angeles
    Yeah, it's legal, I know.

    But here, if that was allowed, there would be chaos. No one knows how to drive that fast.

    When I was in Germany, we hauled ASS on the Autobaun. I must admit I was nervous. :rolleyes:
     
    Steve Hoffman, May 10, 2002
    #20
  21. Mark Jackson

    Mark Jackson Forum Resident

    Location:
    Bremerton, WA
    I drive about 225 yards average. My short game needs work. DOUGH!!

    Don Mclean - "Hairy Hairy nose"
    MC Hammer - "I can't chew this"
     
    Mark Jackson, May 10, 2002
    #21
  22. petzi

    petzi Forum Resident

    Location:
    Germany
    I guess you didn´t drive yourself. Don´t do that unless you are experienced. And your tires must be specified for this, too. Foreigners: Don´t come to Germany to speed on the Autobahn, it´s dangerous. For me and for you.

    If I´m not mistaken, practically every car that can drive is allowed on US roads. Not so in Germany...
     
    petzi, May 10, 2002
    #22
  23. Mark Jackson

    Mark Jackson Forum Resident

    Location:
    Bremerton, WA
    I always wondered what it would be likr to drive on the Autobaun.
    Up here in Seattle people rarely break 55.
     
    Mark Jackson, May 10, 2002
    #23
  24. petzi

    petzi Forum Resident

    Location:
    Germany
    You´ll get used to it. You won´t find it very exciting after a while. Don´t do it if you are excited. You need to be in control.

    I can normally maintain an average speed of 75 - 80 mph, that means sometimes I drive a lot faster than this to compensate for the times where I pass a construction area, dense traffic etc.

    But there have actually been cases where I could maintain 120 mph for two hours or so. Of course not on the main routes during the rush hour...

    The biggest problem here are the trucks. They will use the right lane, driving at about 55 mph. Then there will be people passing those trucks, and they will choose to drive at maybe 75 - 80. And then you are screwed coming in fast from behind, unless there is a third lane. But it gets really annoying when a truck passes a truck...

    If traffic permits, I drive at 110 - 120. My car won´t go much faster than 125 and there is a proverb that you shouldn´t drive faster than your guardian angel can fly...
     
    petzi, May 10, 2002
    #24
  25. Dave

    Dave Esoteric Audio Research Specialist™

    Location:
    B.C.
    Petzi,

    So what autos don't they allow on the Autobahn?
     
    Dave, May 10, 2002
    #25
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