Top cliches used by music writers

many journalists seem to like to use the word 'visceral' as often as possible - and everything that happens in England will at some point be described by somebody as 'surreal' - I feel that I should point out that England is not that exciting

 

Blech, I hate food analogies. At the place I was for a while, someone ended up covering the R&B stuff I was doing. They had no skill for it, no love and everything was a food description like, "Funkadelic's "One Nation Under a Groove" was a slab of beef for dancers to chew..." Just that bad, I hate it!

I hate that expression, "...answer to..." it makes my skin crawl, ha.

 

Or "self-indulgent"

 

Every mono mix is described as "punchy"

 

Describing every new "heartland" rock song as Springsteen-esque.

 

How about "blue eyed soul"?

Was never quite comfortable with the undertones of that one.

 

"Punk HAD to happen".

 

Basically any headline from RollingStone.com or NPR.org.
"Hear Ariana Grande, Cashmere Cat's Tropical House Ballad 'Quit'"

"14 artist cover songs from Carlile's revered album, The Story. All proceeds go to War Child UK."

BONNIE "PRINCE" BILLY
Best Troubador

Will Oldham and his band pay tribute to Merle Haggard by reaching across the country legend's discography to paint a vivid, chronology-busting, album-length portrait.''

I hate reading NPR Music.

 

You have to describe the music in SOME way, or you might not have any interest!
"Bonnie Prince Billy's new album is Merle Haggard songs". Doesn't sound terribly exciting to me! Yes, the hyperbole seems a bit much but at least I get a sense of the album.

 

One of my favorites was when a writer said years ago, "......is sure to be the hit of the summer..."

It wasn't. The song wasn't even released as a single. I hate silly stuff like that.

 

In my opinion, it should not be the job of the writer to use Creative Writing 101 to explain why I should like somebody's music. A good writer informs me of factual information that's both useful and interesting.

Musicians don't paint. It'd be like saying "Picasso arpeggiates a new solo with his new piece". Maybe you like that sort of thing, and I wonder how popular your opinion is. Maybe I'm in the minority. Someone clearly likes it if it continues to happen to NPR.

Don't tell me what the music reminds you of. I don't care if you think a new singer sounds like Dylan, Reed, or Franklin. Communicate to me the facts you've gathered about the project. Tell me what the lead singer said he thinks he sounds like. If he thinks he sounds like himself, say it in some creative way. Stop making up garbage I don't care about.

Oh, this new guy infuses haunting Chuck Berry and sultry cries of Hank Williams with post-psychedelic touches of Marr and Vai that harken Pre-RATM Morello, taking on the sights and sounds of riveting, Austin-inspired melodies that can best be described as iconic? Thanks, now I don't have to listen.