You Know You Have Too Many Records When....

When you're missing a record, then can't remember if you sold it or not.

 

...your records don't "come in the mail", they arrive by ship!

 

...you can count the number of albums you dislike on zero fingers.

 

...you even have melted records!

 

When the last shelf... has no more room.

 

...you don't collect artist discographies, you collect label discographies!

 

...your collection isn't a hobby, it's an entity!

 

...you can't come up with one good reason to not buy records. And it wouldn't matter even if you could!

 

...you've stayed the night at a record store!

 

...construction cones go up when you have vinyl delivered!

 

...you think everything in the world should be square shaped.

 

When you were able to quit smoking for 35 years but never managed to kick out your vinyl addiction for more than a day!

 

I have been there and done that.

 

And, the reason you quit smoking was to buy more records...

 

Obviously!

 

When everything you eat must have a round shape: pizza, tacos, fajitas, waffles, burgers, pie, pancake...

 

You have bought partially-burned Beatles records at auction.

 

You can't remember all the names of the records you need, you just know you need them.

 

my wife kicks out me of the house

 

...even your warped records could fetch an obscene price at any given auction.

 

Or mastering engineer-discographies.

 

Since when is a taco round, man? That would be a tostada or a quesadilla

 

Isn’t the original unwarped shape round?

 

...there is a magazine publication on the newsstand devoted exclusively to your collection.

 

...you don't listen to records while having a coffee. You merely have a coffee while listening to records!