‘Friends’: Ross & Rachel: Were they on a break?

So this was a running gag on the show regarding whether or not Ross and Rachel were on a break when Ross slept with another woman. Ross says they were and Rachel says they weren’t. What do you think? Were they on a break?

 

This was used on Big Bang Theory wish Penny and Leonard.. sad...

 

It seems to be perfectly clear they were on a break.

(I forgot all about Hugh Laurie's little guest spot on the plane.)

 

They were most definitely on a break.



Dan

 

Ross mistakenly believes Rachel is cheating on him, drives her crazy with his mistrust, she says let's take a break, and he then proceeds to sleep with someone else that same night because he again (wrongly) thinks Rachel is about to sleep with that other guy.

On a break, not on a break; it hardly matters. But for all of the above my vote has to be no, not on a break.

 

The writing of this particular storyline was very clever, as it was done in a way where you could see why both thought they were right. And even the other four friends were overall unsure of whom they thought was more in the right.

 

I just spent 5 minutes reading this thread and pondering a response to it, and then I realized that I'm not a 50-year-old woman trying to relive her college days.

 

I hate when that happens.

 

A geek like that Ross guy should thank his lucky stars he ever got to be with Jennifer Aniston or any other attractive female for that matter...

 

I've often dreamed of 'mashing-up' the "Friends" gang with a certain David Mamet play!
It's called:
"Glenngary GlennRoss, Glenn Rachel, Glenn Joey, Glenn Monica, Glenn Chandler, Glenn Phoebe"

 

They made Ross less geeky over time on the show (it was geeky and whiny early on, and later became very neurotic and a lot funnier), but I agree with your general point. Jennifer Aniston was all-time hot when the show started, went through that "took skinny" phase in the middle seasons, and then was hotter than her all-time early seasons hot in the later Friends seasons. The episode where she and Chandler are eating the cheesecakes might be the most attractive a woman has ever looked.

 

Don’t forget Rachel went to Ross’s apartment the morning after their fight when she called a “break” asking him to be his girlfriend again. Would she have to ask that if they weren’t on a break?

 

Here is why I am not on Ross' side...

Who breaks up with their girlfriend, especially one that they have lusted after for years, and then sleeps with someone else right away? It doesn't really matter if they officially broke up. Even if that was established, surely you wait a few days to see if the break up sticks and it wasn't just a really big fight. For all he knew the girl of his dreams would do exactly what she did do...come back to him the next day after sleeping on it and wanting to reconcile. Rachel had every right to be pissed at Ross (if this is how he handles some adversity then what should she expect from him over the next 40 years?) and he was a total idiot throughout this entire story line.

 

They needed better parameters around the "break".

They could've taken a break from being an active couple but still remained monogamous, or it could've meant they were broken up.

While I see Ross's POV, I think he's wrong. A "break" means a time-out from the relationship, not its formal end, so he should've stayed faithful!

 

I don't remember the story as well as I'd like, but if the "break" was driven by Ross's jealousy, I can see why he went out and schtupped some other woman right away.

He wasn't in a good place emotionally and that probably felt like an appropriate act of "revenge". He also probably felt out of sorts and needed the reassurance that came with proving he's "still got it"...

 

Also in Ross's defense, look at his history.

He longed for Rachel for years without any acknowledgement/success. On the surface, this should mean he would be ecstatic when she finally agrees to be his girlfriend...

...but there's still years of inferiority baked into Ross. When someone rejects you - explicitly or not - for that long, you're always gonna feel insecure even when they finally give you acceptance.

Also, the guy's first wife cheated on him, so he's gonna be paranoid about that happening again!

 

I had to Google it to recall what happened.

Those are all Ross problems, not Rachel problems.

 

Sure, but I mention them to explain his behavior. Posts like yours are in the "why would he cheat on the woman of his dreams?" vein and I thought I'd offer potential reasons why he did what he did.

It's also possible we've given more thought to this subject than the series' writers ever did!

 

Fair point, but I guess I would say that people usually do have reasons for doing what they do. Even when there is no reason, there is usually a deeper, subconscious explanation.

Maybe what Ross learned is that he shouldn't be so emotional, shouldn't jump to conclusions, and that his hasty decisions have consequences.

 

Of course, there's always a reason, even if you don't realize what it is. Nothing just "happens".

Ross was emotionally damaged goods going into his relationship with Rachel due to his 1st divorce. The fact he'd pined for Rachel for decades made it worse - he would've still had infidelity-related issues with anyone, but the fact he'd finally gotten his dream girl made it worse.

Rachel was always gonna have the power in that relationship, and deep down, Ross knew it. He knew she was the golden girl who finally deigned to date him, so he was always going to be on pins and needles, waiting for her to change her mind.

As I mentioned, on the surface, we think Ross should be the happiest fella in the land, but I totally understand the pitfalls that come with that relationship. No one likes to be the half a couple with less power!

 

The whole thing just sounds silly out of context, but one the things that made this show great was how the writers put a sequence of events together that made what the characters do make sense, and where you could see it from each of their points of view. Oh yeah, and it was pretty funny.

 

Plenty of relationships go on "breaks" or they have attempted "resets".

About 10 years ago, I dated a woman who really wanted to push the relationship too fast. Within a few weeks, she wanted talks about us as a couple when I didn't even view us as a formal couple yet - she was just a woman I was dating.

After about a month of dating, I put the brakes on it and said we needed a break - she was at Relationship Point S when I was at Point C.

We had no contact for about 4-5 weeks and then gave it another shot. Still didn't work out, but we had a better chance of it going somewhere with that "break" than we would've if we'd plowed ahead!

 

One very big thing wrong here, Rachel was the one who called the break. Not Ross.

Don’t forget the straw that broke the camel’s back when they almost reconciled over the phone that night is that the man that Ross was jealous and suspicious of went to console Rachel. It was when Ross heard that man in the background that he slept with another woman. He had been rejecting that woman’s advances previously.

 

I wasn't meaning to say that Ross initiated the breakup. That was poorly worded. The point though remains; they broke up, and he immediately slept with someone else, before even letting the dust settle so that he knew where they stood.

Rachel had no fault in any of this. People can explain why Ross did the things he did but that doesn't make it all good.

"Sorry Ross, now I understand you're all messed up and feel inferior. You can keep acting paranoid about other guys and I'll forget you jumped into bed with that girl."

That seems to be how some folks think Rachel should have reacted.