Silly or over-the-top liner notes

Mike Oldfield's Amarok:

" HEALTH WARNING – This record could be hazardous to the health of cloth-eared nincompoops. If you suffer from this condition, consult your Doctor immediately ".

 

Mike Nesmith's infamous beer recipe on the back of Tantamount to Treason:

 

Donnie The K's infamous liner notes on More Of The Monkees...

 

The Shaggs Philosophy of the World

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The Shaggs are real, pure, unaffected by outside influences. Their music is different, it is theirs alone. They believe in it, live it. It is a part of them and they are a part of it. Of all contemporary acts in the world today, perhaps only the Shaggs do what others would like to do, and that is perform only what they believe in, what they feel, not what others think the Shaggs should feel.

The Shaggs love you, and love to perform for you. You may love their music or you may not, but whatever you feel, at last you know you can listen to artists who are real. They will not change their music or style to meet the whims of a frustrated world. You should appreciate this because you know they are pure what more can you ask?

Betty, Helen and Dorothy Wiggin are the Shaggs. They are sisters and members of a large family where mutual respect and love for each other is at an unbelievable high. They study and practice together, encouraged and helped by those around them. Betty, Helen and Dorothy live in a small town in New Hampshire, in an atmosphere which has encouraged them to develop their music unaffected by outside influences. They are happy people and love what they are doing. They do it because they love it.
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Paul Simon's pretentious self-interview on the back of his debut Songbook...

 

Faces - Coast to Coast: Overture and Beginners

 

Elvis Costello and the Attractions -- Goodbye Cruel World (Mid-1990s Rhino Records Reissue)

Our Declan himself wrote all of the liner notes on these (first) reissues of his albums. Each one informed with EC's characteristic eloquence and wit. As many know, the opening lines of the GCW liner notes are now legendary. Here is the full first paragraph:

"Congratulations! You've just purchased our worst album. At least that is the impression I've given over the years and I am sure that you could find many people who would agree with me. However as you are reading this I will assume that you are curious, rather than morbid. I can explain everything...."

 

The Pretty Things' manager Mark St John has written some notorious liner notes in CD's for that band as he's the master of exaggeration.

His notes for "SF Sorrow" defy belief as he makes various teeth grating nonsensical claims - according to him, the pop single "died" in 1967 and had "nowhere to go" following "A Whiter Shade Of Pale" (nice one Mark, totally forgetting the Pretties' own groundbreaking "Defecting Grey" later that year) but worse, he raves on that the album was recorded at Abbey Road the same time as Sgt Pepper and Piper At The Gates of Dawn and that Norman Smith was involved with all three albums... when in reality it was the White Album and Saucerful of Secrets and Norman Smith had nothing further to do with The Beatles after "Rubber Soul"!

 

The author of the Meet the Beatles! liner notes, Lawrence Rory Guy, normally wrote notes for classical albums (and won a Grammy for it), and only reluctantly accepted the assignment for the Beatles LP. Years later, under the pseudonym Angus Scrimm, he played the nameless Tall Man in the Phantasm horror film franchise.