I think we are on the same page. The key to sub integration is that when you turn on the sub, what you notice most is how much much more relaxed and at ease the voices/midrange sound. Not the bass. As you say, the bass should be discreetly reinforced, but just barely noticeable. It’s tricky though, and you have to fight the natural instinct to make the bass extra impressive. Sounds like that’s exactly what you are doing. Of course, my comments are about how to maintain soundstage and convincing imaging. OTOH, If you’re throwing a last days of disco nostalgia party, pump up the sub and have a blast.